LillyBoPeep
Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010 Status: offline
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i admit, i'm feeling down. seems like no matter what i do, i'm just not a person who has actual friends. =p i've taken the common denominator rule and tried tweaking this and that about myself but it doesn't really seem to do much good. i guess i'm just in one of those periods of life when it seems like there's no one there. i admit, i keep believing what people say even after all they've shown me is evidence to the contrary. i admit, that's probably a big part of the problem. sometimes i'm not very realistic; sometimes i'm overly hopeful. it just seems like i'm always so invested in other people's things and they don't ever give that back. like i'm supposed to be thinking every single day to vote for a friend's band in a contest, but i admit, i don't imagine he ever thinks much about what i'm doing. i have a show coming up and i'm positive no one i've told about it will come. i admit, i have stopped formally inviting people. =p i admit, i'm tired of these mopey spells. i admit, i'm posting this to vent. i spend a lot of time thinking about it but i don't think i have the guts to really confront anyone on what seems unfair. i admit, i've decided to employ my time-tested method of simply wandering away and just not bothering them anymore -- i admit, that's what sucks -- i always feel like i'm BOTHERING people who claim to be my friends, just by being around. the one friend who flies off the handle over simple questions while letting others get away with the same thing, the others who sorta pretend i'm not really there, unless they need an extra number. are they really friends? i admit, i don't think so anymore. i admit, further, that i think i'm going to see if there are any jogging/walking groups in my area and join one of them. i have other "friends" who jog on the same days i do, but they don't invite me to come along with them, and at this point, inviting myself just seems stupid.
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Midwestern Girl "Obey your Master." Metallica
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