Phoenixpower
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I admit I am back from the mad walking-weekend.
I admit it was tough at times, already the start was bad with walking uphill for 4 hours, so we certainly learned now how to read the maps correctly 
I admit I lost 2.5 kg in those 3 days...not that I feel it much but the scale is telling me 
I admit the downside was, that we were 3 hospitants over that weekend and as expected, coalition happened (as it often does with 3 people) and personally I am wondering if it started after J, who is a groupleader in that home, asked me for my phone number, before he left us to go in his "off-time."
I admit J and I worked together wednesday to saturday, so he got a proper impression from me, which could explain him asking for my number and that could have lead to the two others feeling the need to "prove themselves."
I admit, after J left, Y helped out throughout the next day and that day was just plain awful, cause the two others were keen to "prove themselves" so they were walking way faster than I am able to (no matter how hard I tried) and Y was the same as she was just keen to reach the destination to then be able to get home again.
I admit at the last 1000m I got lost, as I stupidly took the hill upwards to a castle, expecting it has to go up there, when as a matter of fact there was no need to go up there
I admit that meant that my walk to reach the castle was approx. 3km then, instead of 1 
I admit the male hospitant "Ju" straight away used the chance to gossip in my absence to the boss, who picked up Y, telling him that I would be on my limits and whatever else...
I admit I was furious when Ju told me about that, following his suggestion I shouldnt force myself blablabla...
I admit that yes, I was knacked and exhausted, but I was still far away from "my limit"!!!
I admit, sleeping on that castle was awesome, we also had a marvellous clear sky, it was wonderful
I admit the next day the boss picked us up and told the kids they have to be at 2.15pm at another castle, or the bus will be gone...
I admit that, of course, impacted on me, as now all of a sudden the slow kids (3 had put themselves so far behind that they took a ride with someone else to that castle) kept harrassing me, and due to the colleagues just staying out of it, I got a bit more firm with my tone after I explained the 3rd or 4th time, that our time, which is available, is no issue at all.
I admit after that situation they finally did shut up.
I admit we reached the other castle at 12.30pm, so way before time.
I admit it was marvellous to observe how the boss came and closed this activity with reflecting it with the kids, with us, and then letting us decide who the 2 best kids were as the leaders from that weekend (most helpful, nicest, etc) and assuring that for all insult which took place (thankfully it wasn't toooooooooo much) responsibility has been taken by the ones who had a too big mouth to chew.
I admit the boss was surprised that the two youngest were the best, but they truly were awesome
I admit after we got back to their home the boss sat together with all three of us, which pissed me off, as I would have preferred 1:1 talks, or at least 1:1 talks after a 1:3 talk...with the coalition which had been taken place (apart from walking fast to look good they also made clear to not intervene on the final day, which should be the case in our work between colleagues and which J did straightaway on the first day when an incident occured...just watching and resting when attempted insults take place, isn't appropriate in that sort of team work).
I admit the 1:3 meeting was ok but I hated it that I felt I cant defend myself properly when the boss addressed the fact when I changed my tone once and also he criticised that he would have preferred it if I would have told him on friday "thank you boss, but I think I am on my limit for this week, and so better don't take part this weekend." simply due to not being 1:1 with him...cause some stuff I would have liked to say was not something I wanted the other 2 to know as that's just tooooooooo private.
I admit, though, I appreciate, that he said that getting the job isn't depending on how that weekend went, cause a team lives from variety and not everybody has to take part on such activities (that being said, I DID enjoy it and know that over time I would be fitter in it, which again, is an aspect he doesn't get IMO) and also he understood that stress can increase in such situations and that at some point you can change your tone.
I admit, due to that weekend, I doubt to get that job, unless the boss is smart enough to realise as well, what can go on when 3 hospitants are working together on such a situation...
I admit I will know it on wednesday, but I don't expect that job and would be ok with it, cause wednesday or friday I would get my 4th call from the potential employer in Isny who wants to arrange my hospitation dates there...and him pronouncing again, how important I am for them
I admit if I don't get the job I will write them a letter with letting them know the facts which I wanted to tell him in a 1:1 meeting, cause some of the issues I had were that staff doesn't bother to tell the kids to use their seatbelts...and quite frankly, accidents do happen and it did happen to a childrens home bus in 2002, where kids got hurt because of that (not in my home, but I know it so well, as it was just before I organised my summer camp with my childrens home kids).
I admit, independent from the outcome, I am glad I did the weekend as it was a great learning experience and I am more than happy to do such stuff at my future employer (whoever that will be).
I admit I snorted big time when I told Ju that I think it would be great to organise a one week castle tour, sleeping each night on a different castle...him cutting me off "they are too far away you can forget about that." I replied to him "We already passed 2 castles now, 2 more are near my home and another one is in the town next to here, makes 5 castles already...so hardly "so impossible"
I admit that just showed that he just put on his "show face" but isn't truly with his heart on such activities...
I admit, overall, it was despite all the ups and downs, good
I admit I sent my mum shopping today...as my body is just to bloody painful to get myself out of here 
_____________________________
RIP 08-09-07
The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT
www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf
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RE: I Admit It I........ - 
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