Daddysredhead
Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005 From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia Status: offline
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I admit that I am sending massive quantities of love, hugs, squishes, or just a shoulder to lean on to any of you who want it. I admit that I wish I were in FL to give Ghita a hug, and in MD to give one to Hausboy. I admit that I am going to admit some things that I may not have admitted on these boards. For the ones who recently posted about the pain and loneliness you were experiencing, I was there, too. I admit that I understand that lonely, hurt, betrayed, "will it ever get any better than this moment right now feeling?" better than some people may know. I admit that I stayed in a marriage and an 8 year relationship, LONG past their expiration dates. I admit that I didn't want to give up on something I had put all my time and emotions into, even though the relationship monitor showed that these pairings had flatlined long ago. I admit that it took a great deal of counseling for me to realize that the success or failure of these relationships did not fall squarely on my shoulders alone. I admit that I was lied to, cheated on, ignored, emotionally and verbally abused by these two men for a very long time, and I sat by and took it. I would smile and put on a good face to those on the outside, nodding when people asked if we were as happy as we seemed, all the while, knowing that I was ready to puke because I felt ashamed that I was in a fucked up situation that I was not strong enough (emotionally) to leave. I admit that I was waiting for my mind to catch up with my heart (which had checked out of the relationship nearly a year or more before) so I knew I could leave without any second thoughts or "regrets." I admit that once my mind was playing from the same page of music as my heart, it was not hard at all to walk away, and never look back. I admit that once I had washed my hands of my last relationship, Geoff told me of his feelings, and things kind of went from there. We had a hiccup or two at the start, as most people do, but we pushed through, and found that we are extremely well-suited for one another. I admit that it took a lot of time and counseling before I believed I was worth so much more than the crap I was getting. I admit that I was not looking for love and romance when it found me, but I am more than thrilled that it did. I never dreamed that a casual pen pal from here and the flip side would turn into the Mr. part of our Mr. & Mrs.
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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed. Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart 13th doughnut
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