lmpishlilhellcat
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Joined: 8/25/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I admit I cooked for the damn dog.
My girl was at work, it was just about feeding time and I was eating some buttered peas when the dog walked by. I left the table (dog gets no food from table. bad reinforcement) and sat on the floor. I asked the dog, yes I talked to the dog and asked it like I expected it could actually answer me . . . you know, in a normal voice not that silly baby or doggy voice people use, I asked the dog if it wanted peas mixed in with the canned dog food? The dog said yes, as in I offered the dog some peas in my hand and the dog actually ate them. Then the dog looked at the bowl of peas and looked in the direction of the canned dog food. In my world, that is dog talk for, "yes Sir, i would love some of those tasty peas in my delicious organic meaty dog food and by the way, I am due for feeding any minute now."
So I had finished with my dinner, the dog wanted the left over peas and it was time to feed the animals anyway . . . did I say animals? Yes, there are cats involved too. Don’t ask me how cats got into my life. Better to ask my slave how she used her wily slavecraft to slowly get a man that refused pets in his life to not only accept a dog, but temporally accept two frigging cats as well. The cats and their fussy stomachs, dry food only with hair ball and sensitive stomach food . . . cats, I swear! But this is about how I ended up cooking for damn dog.
So I got the dog food out, I grabbed the dog dish and there was some dry food still in it. The slave likes the dog to eat dry food. I don’t know why, dry food sucks. I think we should feed the dog some cats. I know two cats we can start with . . . but no, the dog doesn’t eat those cats. It will run at 60 miles an hour to catch a stray cat, it will dig a hole under the fence to pursue an armadillo, it will play mind games chasing the squirrels that live in the trees out back but will it eat the cat that sits on its head while it sleeps? Nope. Imagine a damn worthless pit bull that won’t eat the two cats it lives with… and I, supreme ruler of the house end up cooking for the non-cat eating pit bull.
I opened the fridge and saw a cold can of beef stock. I offered the can to the dog asking her if she wanted this poured over the dry food and she licked the lid with approval, saying, “yes Sir, I would dearly relish the change from dry dog food if you soaked them in that tasty beef broth turning them into beef flavored dumplings. Sir, would it be too much to ask if you are going to actually feed me or just play with that food up there on the counter. I can’t actually see into the dish but you may notice I have paid very close attention to every single morsel I have seen you put in it and by the way, I am due for feeding any minute now."
I tossed the stock in over the dry food . . . there, the damn dog will now also eat dry food with its wet food, the slave, the dog and all will be happy. Then I noticed some leftovers that we weren’t gonna’ eat, and some lunch meat that also was gonna expire if we didn’t eat it soon . . . and that old tomato. So I took the can of organic fucking dog food that has been processed to higher standards than human food “because animals can’t fend for themselves legally” so we over protect them, and added it to all this stuff.
There I was staring at the freezing cold mash in the dog dish, thinking there was far too much food, when out of the corner of my eye I saw the frying pan with the nice meat drippings and grease from dinner in it. So I tossed everything in the pan and started heating it up.
While waiting for it to heat up, I remembered previously scrounging through the fridge I had noticed several things . . . like that very small amount of bacon and cheese dip in that big old container taking up all that room for nothing. So I grabbed it, asked the dog if she wanted it in her dinner and she approvingly licked the lid saying, “that there is some tasty stuff. I love bacon and I love cheese. I would gladly eat just that instead of adding it to the stewy concoction you have going up there on the counter. Hey wait, I only got two licks of that.” I tossed that in . . . so went the process to include humus and few other things.
All the while, I was periodically telling the dog that “daddy is cooking for you, you should be grateful” and she would dance the happy dance every time I mentioned it. All in all it was a gourmet looking dish that resembled a fine beef stew. I served up a portion to the dog after it cooled to a nice temperature and the dog had a nice hot meal. She slept soundly with her fat ass head on my lap afterwards as I watched a TV show. Occasionally stirring to lick her lips and nuzzle my hand.
There is a half a gallon of beef stew looking substance in a Tupperware container in the fridge. I sent a text . . . yes, after 7 years without the annoyances of a cell phone tugging at me, my slave and my ex ganged up together and influenced me to look at smart phones. Talk about slavecraft at work, those two are quite a team when they get together on something. Anyway, I sent a text to the slave telling her not to eat the beef stew in the Tupperware.
. . . I admit that not only did I cook for the damn dog, I also used fucking Tupperware. Don’t tell anyone, it will ruin my helpless man in a man cave type image.
I admit I think this is cute!
I admit my husband does the same thing... Has conversations with the dogs, makes them special food like steak, and even brings food home from restaurants for our dogs.
I admit men and their dogs.. sheesh
I admit I'm making bacon wrapped scallops with a chili butter today. Not really healthy, but I'm calling it a cheat meal.
I admit I love experimenting with food on the weekends. I've tried several new healthy soups and now a turkish eggplant recipe.
< Message edited by lmpishlilhellcat -- 3/30/2013 8:09:15 AM >
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Your IQ test results came back negative.
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RE: I Admit It I........ - 
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