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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 4:04:23 AM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

I admit, BecomingV, I'm so sorry for your loss. We are never old enough to lose our mommy
I admit, DC. Please hang in. <3
I admit. Daddy Satyr. I sat here for a full 5 minutes after reading your "I admit". I have no words for this. I'm amazed you are still standing. Just thinking about what you've been through makes it hard to breathe.
I admit. Thinking of SexyRed, as she recovers from Chemo #1, and prepares for Chemo #2
I admit. I will be full of gratitude for my life today, in honor of all who have REAL heartaches.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

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Post #: 67561

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 4:37:11 AM

BecomingV

Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline

Thank you, Everyone, for your kind and supportive words. I'm so glad I returned here just when I did. I got to witness LadyPact's call to action and the naming of sugar shaker. LOL I admit that was my first giggle since my Mom passed. I admit she would have chuckled, too.

Michael, I am so sorry for your loss.

I admit I have some sort of fantasy that after death, we understand all and are surrounded by those we wish to be near. These two things seem to suggest peace.

I admit I have repeatedly found reasons to respect and appreciate many posters on the boards.

I admit I might be still feeling waves of emotion but that I'm learning to just let it happen. There is no point in fighting the vulnerability.

_____________________________

Talk about loving travel!!! My BDSM journey to Switch took me to these places...
Previously known as:
sub - TwoHeartsBeatOne
Domme - Lady Q

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 67562

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 6:53:35 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

My Mom got sick, then the surgery, then the stroke, then she died. This is the first time I've signed in here in a long while. I lost her two weeks ago, tonight. My birthday was last Friday... the first one without Mom there.

So, you can see why I find your post so poignant. It's awesome to know someone out there is appreciating loved ones while they still have them. :)

I got to share the heart of my life with this amazing woman. I will always miss her dearly.

Thank you for your sentiments.

First; welcome back.

I can relate. I lost my eldest son 14 months ago. My uncle - the man who raised me - has told me that he wants to move closer to me and be in assisted care. If I had a ranch house, he'd be moving in here.

The unfortunate fact is that this is a part of life. I have no great words of wisdom for you but I can tell you this: I cry less, now than I did 14 months ago.

Be strong,

Michael

Sending hugs and condolences to you two....It is so sad to read this...

I admit my day is nicely peaceful today and I am looking forward going out for dinner with my boyfriend

I admit reading about those losses makes me feel fortunate, that the ones I would truly miss if they would leave this planet, I can count on one hand...

I admit neither my parents nor my brother's family belong to them....as I just never felt part of that family and learned to live with that fact.

I admit I have been a, how I called it, grandparents kid, and it was hard for me when I lost them back in 2005 and 2007...

I admit, though, as time passes I learned to live with them being gone and value the rare moments when they occur in my dreams (which is mostly only granny...as she only brought grandpa along once or twice....I think only once...)

I admit, though, it is an interesting experience for me, that she rarely occurs anymore since I am back home in my country....seems to me, she felt the need to look out more for me as long as I was living abroad...

I admit I am certain, that both found their peace

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 67563

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 8:51:04 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I admit that I have a lot of admits as I haven't been here for a long time and logged on for the first time in over a year last night

I admit that I haven't scrolled back to read anything and I apologise, please don't think that I don't value all of the posts that I have missed in the time I have been away

I admit that tonight I booked tickets for my dad and I to go interstate to spend a week with his oldest friend who is in the final stages of a very long and courageous battle with cancer. He had kicked it's butt so many times over the years and then it would return.

I admit that I am thankful that I went and spent an afternoon with him and my aunty when I was in Melbourne last and got to see a photo of me when I was very young,with one of my brothers and them and it is on their mantlepiece

I admit that this has thrown everything into turmoil as I am currently housesitting so now need to ask the neighbours of our friends if they can take over, I will have one day to clean their house, pack up all of my stuff over there and move it back to my place

I admit that this it also has thrown my work schedule and doctors appointments out of whack so I need to try and get in to see my dr first thing on monday and then get stuck into cleaning

I admit that I am just whining as truly, I am thankful that my dad has agreed to fly to Melbourne with me to most likely see his friend for the last time. You never know what will happen in life and after the death by suicide of my darling younger brother many years ago, I work hard to live a life without regrets and to remind everyone in my life that I care about them, even when I go awol.

I admit that I have been working very part time hours as a kink aware psychologist for about a month now I think and I still pinch myself to see if I am dreaming as it is the fulfilment of a lifelong dream towork within the LGBTIQ community and later on, with the kink comunity,mostly because there is a significantly higher number of suicides within the LGBTIQ group in particular. I ameven on the KAP site which I sometimes go to and search for myself just so I can smile

I admit that I have 4 rubbish bags of things a friend gave me as they were moving away that I need to sort through and figure out what to do with everything

I admit that my bed has a huge mountain in one corner of it however I am not quite sure what is hidden in there so will need to sort that out before sleeping

I admit that I will be away for the next three weekends which means I won't see my partner for a month after we see eachother tomorrow after he finishes work and I also miss our six month anniversary which is next weekend.

I admit that by writing all of these admits I am not doing any of the things I need to get done before we fly out at the crack of dawn on wednesday

I admit that I leave love and hugs for those that would like one and also for those who who may like to have one later

_____________________________

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(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 67564

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 9:58:04 AM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

I admit OMG Wanders it is soooo nice to see you here.

I admit I'm sorry for the loss you're experiencing and happy/sad that you'll see him again.

I admit it's good news to hear about the new partner, I'm into month 9 with mine.

I admit huge congrats on becoming a kink aware psychologist. Part time, full time, you're doing the community a great service. I'm so happy for you.

I admit you're missed here by a number of posters. Hope you come back once in awhile to keep us up to date.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 67565

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 1:31:55 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

I admit that I got new glasses today.
I admit the family seems to think seeing is better than not seeing.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

Post #: 67566

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 3:38:47 PM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

i admit, living life in fear of something happening or not happening will hold you back. sometimes you have to say what the hell and just let go. you never ever know what's just around the corner.

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 67567

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 4:48:51 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I admit it is so good to see you here, wanders.

I admit I'm very sorry for your loss, BecomingV. I still have my mom, but losing my dad was incredibly painful.

I admit my brother went over the deep end last night. They 5150'd him in the ER. I am still waiting for them to transfer/admit him. It is a very bad situation right now.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to KMsAngel)

Post #: 67568

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/7/2014 6:50:16 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

I admit. So sorry. NV about your brother.
I admit I'm heading out if town this weekend to replace my drivers license and visit with my son.
I admit. I cannot post anymore after this because my post count is now at 1111 and that is OCD heaven.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 67569

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 1:32:51 AM

BecomingV

Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline

Thank you, Nueva. I lost my Dad 30 years ago. That was difficult in a different way than losing my Mom is. Not the least of which is that I feel ridiculous saying at my age, "I'm an orphan now." Even so, it feels that way.

I will be keeping both you and your brother in my thoughts and am sending you good energy. I hope all turns out well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I admit it is so good to see you here, wanders.

I admit I'm very sorry for your loss, BecomingV. I still have my mom, but losing my dad was incredibly painful.

I admit my brother went over the deep end last night. They 5150'd him in the ER. I am still waiting for them to transfer/admit him. It is a very bad situation right now.

_____________________________

Talk about loving travel!!! My BDSM journey to Switch took me to these places...
Previously known as:
sub - TwoHeartsBeatOne
Domme - Lady Q

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 67570

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 1:35:49 AM

BecomingV

Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff
I admit. I cannot post anymore after this because my post count is now at 1111 and that is OCD heaven.

Well now, that can't be true! LOL

But, while you are there, do you know about 11/11? The Star Born? The Course in Miracles? You might want to look into it before you do post again.

I admit to some skepticism about 11/11 but I can't prove anyone wrong, so for now, I'm open.

_____________________________

Talk about loving travel!!! My BDSM journey to Switch took me to these places...
Previously known as:
sub - TwoHeartsBeatOne
Domme - Lady Q

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 67571

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 4:50:10 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

I admit that I have a lot of admits as I haven't been here for a long time and logged on for the first time in over a year last night

I admit I am glad to hear you are ok wanders...

I admit I wish you all the best with the upcoming journey...and am happy for you that you had the possibility to spend some time with him last year as well....it is sad to hear that he is losing this battle...

I admit I am happy to read about your developments in your private life and the job front....that's awesome :o)

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 67572

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 8:35:01 AM

LadyRedRoseToo

Posts: 229
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline

I admit I am sending love and light to all those in pain, who are ill and who are suffering losses.
I admit I am finally home after spending nearly a week away burying my ex husband and father of my children.
I admit that even though we were divorced, his family welcomed me with open arms and made me a part of the planning and ritual.
I admit I am very proud of our children, they handled themselves well and I received many compliments on what a wonderful job we had done raising them; even the mentally challenged child did his best to understand that his daddy is gone physically. when we talk about daddy he tells me daddy is in his heart.
I admit my ex would have been amazed at the show of love and support we received, his procession was over a mile long.
I admit it made me smile to think of him watching all of this and shaking his head saying "wow!"
I admit the legal and financial mess he left behind for his fiancée and our son designated legal next of kin is going to take awhile to figure out. in a way it makes me chuckle, it was so typical of him. all I can do is support them and lend an ear as needed.

_____________________________

Hugs and light to all who need them!

Deja Moo: the feeling you've heard this bullshit before.

I'm not a total bitch, parts of me are missing!

Crazy Chihuahua Lady

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 67573

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 11:27:46 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I admit I have been too sad, depressed, angry, in pain, out of it and exhausted to post lately, but I want to thank Blonderfluff for mentioning me.

I don't wish this crap on anyone, it's like a club you don't want to be a part of. Your entire world shrinks to being just about the C.

But I am pushing through it with my beloved parents and brother's help.

I also send condolences to everyone who has experienced loss here. My heart still works.

I read some of these posts where people don't seem to value their parents and I just shake my head.

I find perspective has really hit home for me in the things that I used to think were important or that I once considered problems.

My best to everyone.

(in reply to LadyRedRoseToo)

Post #: 67574

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 11:37:06 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I read some of these posts where people don't seem to value their parents and I just shake my head.

I admit some of us simply got over the fact to dream about having the parents how society tends to think that they are supposed to be....when they just arent anywhere near like that...

I admit many years ago back in the UK I was dreading the C diagnosis myself due to a problem which reoccured and whilst I can't say it for certain (as you never know how you will decide if you face the end of your life) I am still pretty certain that I would not have told them about it, until I would have been gone....and then just via a letter in the end...

I admit the love which others have for their parents and siblings....I simply had for my grandparents...that's just how life works out at times...

I admit I am actually damn grateful that I have had the awesome grandparents which I have had...and miss them almost daily...

I admit I am also happy that you have parents and a brother which are supportive in your hard time to go through that with you...

I admit I hope all will go well with you...as it is a shame, to see, how many people have to deal with that these days...

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 67575

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 11:44:30 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Just a note to say I fully understand that some people may have reasons for not valuing their parents.

I know I am lucky to have good ones.

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 67576

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 12:07:46 PM

LittleGirlHeart

Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

I admit my mom bought me a beautiful little owl necklace and i love it. i need a chain extender then next time i do something special i am going to wear it.

< Message edited by LittleGirlHeart -- 3/8/2014 12:17:29 PM >

_____________________________

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 67577

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/8/2014 11:44:42 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff
I admit. I cannot post anymore after this because my post count is now at 1111 and that is OCD heaven.

Well now, that can't be true! LOL

But, while you are there, do you know about 11/11? The Star Born? The Course in Miracles? You might want to look into it before you do post again.

I admit to some skepticism about 11/11 but I can't prove anyone wrong, so for now, I'm open.

I admit Master likes to text me when it's 11/11, 11/1, 1/11 or 1/1. He calls it the hour of oneness.

I admit while I don't really hold a lot of love for my mom, I still feel an obligation to take care of her because she still is my mother and I am still her daughter no matter what I may or may not feel for her.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 3/8/2014 11:47:11 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to BecomingV)

Post #: 67578

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/9/2014 12:26:56 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

I admit I can relate. I love my Dad but find it difficult to like him. As he loses mental acuity, it's easier to forgive.

I admit I'm calming down from the unprovoked verbal attack I received at my niece's wedding tonight, by said niece.

I admit, the moscato was probably a catalyst for said calming.

I admit weddings are stressful. I admit she meant to wound me. Scratch the calming.

_____________________________

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One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 67579

RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/9/2014 12:53:23 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

I admit I wish the fear of police thread wasn't locked.

_____________________________

My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 67580

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