FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013 From: Maryland Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: smileforme50 I admit.... I was a little surprised by this...I wasn't expecting this to happen until week when we got closer to the Thanksgiving holiday, but.... It's been 5 months since my mom passed away and for the most part I've been ok. I think because I've been keeping myself busy...and inheriting her car has taken a tremendous amount of stress off of me that I've dealt with for way too long. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling VERY melancholy....not crying....but tears in my eye....thinking about her and really missing her..and about this being the first holiday without her. I admit I'm also going through some serious doubts about a Dom I have been seeing and trying to build a relationship with for the past 9 months. I really like him....there is so much potential I see with us....both lifestyle and vanilla wise, but there have been some recent conversations we've been having lately that have me saying "I don't know...." And it's kind of pissing me off. I admit that I have many heart-warming Thanksgiving memories of my family. I admit that I also inherited my mother's car (which I didn't need, but it was nice to have a better 2nd car than the one we had) and a boatload of other miscellaneous & sundry items that had belonged to her, my brother, and my father. I admit that I burst into tears in front of strangers everywhere I went when we went to lay flowers on my mother's grave earlier this month in celebration of her birthday...then had dinner at her favorite buffet (where I cried in front of the server & other restaurant patrons). I admit that the best thing you can do at times is to think about what things made your loved ones happy, and then do those things in their memory. Replace the sadness with joy, remembering their joy. Replace any feelings of guilt with thankfulness & gratitude. I admit that virtual hugs are no replacement for real hugs, but sometimes you have to make do. I admit that all the affection my kitties show me does not go unrewarded.
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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