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RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 8:35:56 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I admit that on January 3, my mom passed away.
I admit I am feeling rudderless, adrift. Lost.
I admit I think I understand now, what people with bi-polar experience. I have the strangest moments of laughter and silliness followed by intense sorrow and emptiness.
I admit for the last 30 years my entire life centered around caring for my children and then my mother and now I wake up feeling as if I am supposed to be doing something but having nothing to do.
I admit I'm trying to stay "present" for Kay, but I mostly want to sleep.

I admit one of my sons and his wife are coming to pick me up at 2 for lunch, and I should go shower and get dressed.

I admit I'd rather just go back to bed.

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 71301

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 8:42:56 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Allow yourself time to grieve----hugs

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 71302

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 3:17:14 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I admit that things like this make me wish for the old days with Mod 3. Who would not have allowed bullying of a pregnant woman.

I admit that 3 wouldn't have known TOS if it bit her on the ass.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 71303

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 4:56:13 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

I am so sorry for your loss.
Be gentle with yourself.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 71304

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 5:32:43 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I admit that on January 3, my mom passed away.
I admit I am feeling rudderless, adrift. Lost.
I admit I think I understand now, what people with bi-polar experience. I have the strangest moments of laughter and silliness followed by intense sorrow and emptiness.
I admit for the last 30 years my entire life centered around caring for my children and then my mother and now I wake up feeling as if I am supposed to be doing something but having nothing to do.
I admit I'm trying to stay "present" for Kay, but I mostly want to sleep.

I admit one of my sons and his wife are coming to pick me up at 2 for lunch, and I should go shower and get dressed.

I admit I'd rather just go back to bed.

Big hugs, Winsome! You're in my heart and my prayers.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 71305

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 6:25:56 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Hugs to Win.

I remember after my mom passed, that I was blindsided by how many contradictory emotions I felt at the same time.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 71306

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 6:58:45 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

I admit I remember reading in Miss Manners that one reason mourners traditionally withdrew from society for a while was because grieving can leave one ricocheting between emotions in a way others may not understand.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 71307

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/7/2017 7:48:50 PM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline

i admit it i am sorry for the way i tried to help
i admit it i should have learned more about how to help first
i admit it i will keep my promise and be here for you if ever you need it

_____________________________

currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 71308

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/8/2017 7:48:47 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

I admit I am sorry for you loss, Winsome xx

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to littleclip)

Post #: 71309

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/9/2017 6:34:15 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

To begin with, forget the I admit...

Winsome, I am truly sorry for your loss, and I know from losing my own mother some of what you are going thru, feel free to drop me a message if you want someone to talk to....

Now:

I admit I got a new 500 gig hard drive and put Ubuntu on it.
I admit that I now have a dual boot system with linux and windows.
I admit that I am at a loss to figure out how to make linux work for me so I can dump windows permanately.
I admit that for some reason, linux is tempermental about my mouse, sometimes it will talk to it, most of the time it is fuck you logitech.
I admit that I welcome anyone's input on how to get it configured to work.
I admit that I am a hardware tech geek and OS bugs piss me off.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 71310

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/9/2017 9:38:21 AM

WhoreMods

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline

Winsome, I'm really sorry to hear that.

As for the trivial and insignificant stuff I might actually be able to help somebody with: would it be economically unfeasible to try a different flavour of Linux than Ubuntu, Jeff? I recall you mentioning that used the Raspberry Pi (and rather liked it, iirc) so maybe Debian would suit better? Ubuntu received a massive shitstorm from the Linux faithful a few years back for trying to go the M$/Apple/Google route and stuffing the then current version with spyware and trying to railroad the user into their online storefront. (IMO, if you're expected to put up with that sort of bullshit, you might just as well buy a Mac or something that actually works most of the time.)
Less specifically, Ubuntu has long had a rep as a "new newer newest!" cutting edge Linux distro, rather than a stable one, rushing out updated versions as often as they possibly can. There are rival versions of Linux that are updated a lot less often because the people behind are more concerned with stability rather than chasing clocks. Debian is one of the poster boys for that, and I'm sure any members of the true Linux faithful on hand can name a dozen or so more.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 71311

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/9/2017 9:23:51 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Winsome, I'm really sorry to hear that.

As for the trivial and insignificant stuff I might actually be able to help somebody with: would it be economically unfeasible to try a different flavour of Linux than Ubuntu, Jeff? I recall you mentioning that used the Raspberry Pi (and rather liked it, iirc) so maybe Debian would suit better? Ubuntu received a massive shitstorm from the Linux faithful a few years back for trying to go the M$/Apple/Google route and stuffing the then current version with spyware and trying to railroad the user into their online storefront. (IMO, if you're expected to put up with that sort of bullshit, you might just as well buy a Mac or something that actually works most of the time.)
Less specifically, Ubuntu has long had a rep as a "new newer newest!" cutting edge Linux distro, rather than a stable one, rushing out updated versions as often as they possibly can. There are rival versions of Linux that are updated a lot less often because the people behind are more concerned with stability rather than chasing clocks. Debian is one of the poster boys for that, and I'm sure any members of the true Linux faithful on hand can name a dozen or so more.

thanks for the tip, downloading debian now

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to WhoreMods)

Post #: 71312

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/10/2017 5:01:25 AM

WhoreMods

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline

Hope it works better for you than the other did.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 71313

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/10/2017 7:35:46 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

I admit I have a play-dated slated for Saturday.

I admit the dom loves getting his cock sucked. (Big surprise there.)

I admit that, despite being an old queen, that isn't my forte.

I admit that I bought a dildo last night and have been practicing. I even put "practice" on tonight's to-do list, between "Mom & Dad" and "desk."

I admit I feel completely ridiculous but also excited and eager to please.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to WhoreMods)

Post #: 71314

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/11/2017 11:28:30 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

I admit that I hope DC has plenty of fun on his play-date, and that the practice pays off :-)

I admit that the wind is really strong here, and I'm very worried about my old man Silver Birch in my back garden. He now has nothing to protect him, and his fragile in his old age :-( I'm also rather pissed off that my crappy neighbours can never be bothered to shut their shed door, so it's always slamming and making a racket. Surely they must be able to hear it too.

I admit that we have also been forecast snow, but we'll be lucky to see any of that where I live, although the last time I said that I got up to it, but thankfully it was gone by lunch. Now that's my idea of snow

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 71315

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/11/2017 11:45:50 AM

WhoreMods

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline

Good luck on Saturday, DC.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 71316

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/11/2017 1:41:44 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

My heart goes out to you at this time. Take time to grieve but also remember the good times and what your mother was.

ETA: My fingers got to typing too fast and added a letter. PM me if you want to chat.

< Message edited by ShaharThorne -- 1/11/2017 1:46:12 PM >

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 71317

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/13/2017 12:55:49 AM

MedfetAB

Posts: 45
Status: offline

I admit I naively thought my days of anxiety attacks were over, but I've been getting them again this week now that I'm facing the possibility of my abuser from my young days, who I now have to live with due to financial difficulties, moving to the upstairs floor where I live since one of our tenants is preparing to move out.

I admit things have been kinda-sorta bearable with her living on the ground floor, but now just the thought of being that teeny bit closer on a regular basis is absolutely shooting my stress levels through the roof.

I admit if it weren't for certain issues and the cat that I need to take care of, I'd probably have already sold my belongings and high-tailed it to a shelter over a year ago.

I admit I'm not even sure if I'm more upset right now over the situation itself or the unsettling involuntary nature of experiencing the anxiety/CPTSD making a comeback.

I admit I've surprised myself with how well I'm doing in keeping off the booze in light of the above, and I admit the local dungeon has, unsurprisingly, become my safe haven.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Post #: 71318

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/13/2017 8:52:59 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

I admit I must be suffering from some form of brain tumor....

The symptoms are unmistakable:
1) I GI'd my room (i.e cleaned and organized it in such a manner as to pass the inspection of any top kick on the planet.)
2) Organized my desk
3) Actually made my bed using hospital corners....

I admit that there is the possibility that I have become deranged after fighting with various operating systems, and the above is just one part of the insanity....

I admit that I want to sneak into the microsoft facilities and replace all the toilet paper with toilet paper that has been treated with a combination of pepper spray, the juice of the Carolina Reaper (currently the hottest pepper on the planet) and icy hot.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to MedfetAB)

Post #: 71319

RE: I Admit It I........ - 1/13/2017 9:17:32 AM

WhoreMods

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline

Switching to Debian didn't help then?
Sorry. I'd just seen a few mentions of Ubuntu emphasising touch screens in the last couple of updates, and wondered if that might be a factor in the mouse issues you'd been having with it.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 71320

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