pyroaquatic
Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006 From: Pyroaquatica Status: offline
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I admit that I am having a really bad day today. I've been attempting to establish a friendly rapport with one of the local ladies. She had just been in a relationship and it ended. I was not expecting any kind of reward. I had feelings for her but I wanted to be her friend first. But she is always 'busy' and 'broke' and experiencing heartbreak of her own design. Not only was I willing to pay, I was willing to work around her 'busy' schedule. Excuse, Excuse, Excuse of why we could not hang out. Finally, I called her on these excuses. There was a heated discussion. I asked her if she liked me. 'I don't dislike you, I'm just not attracted to you.' I told her I am not going to be a crying shoulder any more (she laments after every breakup). She had said 'Fuck Off' and I parted with Good Luck. We only met twice. The first time she was curious but nothing happened after that. The second time it was for her project (that pretty picture I had was her and her camera). She refused to give me the time of day even as a friend. So I blocked her from IM and Cmail (like she would ever initiate conversation). I'm tired of 'bothering' her which is why I blocked her. So now I am bummed out... for some reason. I mean she was not a lover, or even a friend. She did like rubbing in the fact that she had lovers and friends. now I am thinking bad thoughts. I want them gone but I keep obsessing. I admit it... I am not mentally healthy and I am afraid that because of that I will not have anyone. ~Pyroaquatic
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You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny. -Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5
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