Why do women cheat? (Full Version)

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youngsubgeoff -> Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 1:26:53 AM)

Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.




MstrPBK -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 1:29:06 AM)

Severe Head Jerk ....
With all due respect ... Men cheat too ...
I've been guilty once or twice.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA




youngsubgeoff -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 1:30:54 AM)

Um, yeah dude, I basically implied that with the OP. Just wondering why women specifically do it.




Navina -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 1:33:55 AM)

I wouldn't know. I can't speak for all women. Personally, I find this behavior to be abhorrent, and have never engaged in it.




RapierFugue -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 1:35:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff
Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.

Boredom? Dissatisfaction with the penis size on offer? Who knows?

I do think it's a tad unfair to single out either dominants or women in this respect though.




SweetDommes -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 2:46:08 AM)

Same reason as anyone else does it - because they are jerks. Male, female, dominant, submissive, switch, straight, gay, bi ... doesn't matter - they each give a different reason for why they cheat, but it all boils down to the fact they are selfish jerks.




hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 3:41:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff
Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.


i think it still comes down to pointing right back at men; meaning... i don't think "specifically" there's much of any difference in reasoning to be seen.




DarkSteven -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 4:19:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Um, yeah dude, I basically implied that with the OP. Just wondering why women specifically do it.


Invalid question unless you can make a case that they do it for different reasons than men.

Anyhow, changing your question to why people cheat, it's because:

1. They want/need more than they can get in a mono relationship, and
2. They either are too chicken to state they're doing it, or else they stated up front that they will and their partner wasn't listening at the time.




MsStarlett -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 4:32:09 AM)

Define Cheating.

I define "Cheating" as sneaking around, doing something behind the back of your loved one.  That could be anything from having extra lovers to gambling away the rent money.

I'm Polyamorous.  Anyone who gets involved with me knows that and has to accept it or move along.  I do not believe that the human heart was designed to love only one person at a time.  Some choose the Monogamous path, others the Poly.  If one is Poly and involved with a Mono, that's going to cause a lot of problems. 

Now, WHY do women take on an extra man?   Same reason men take on extra women, because they aren't getting everything they need from just one.  Sometimes what is missing is just the Thrill of doing something that they know is 'wrong'.  Sometimes they need that ego stroked with the knowledge that they still got the 'Jazz' to go get another one.

And just FYI - just because a person picks up an 'extra', doesn't mean that the person loves the 'primary' any less.  Like adding another child or another pet to your household, the love you give to the 2nd does not diminish the love you had for the first.  Just the time.  And sometimes, if the 1st were spending enough time with their partner, then partner wouldn't be looking for a 2nd to fill in that gap.




RapierFugue -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 4:44:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Same reason as anyone else does it - because they are jerks. Male, female, dominant, submissive, switch, straight, gay, bi ... doesn't matter - they each give a different reason for why they cheat, but it all boils down to the fact they are selfish jerks.

I find that rather too simplistic a generalisation.

Obviously, some people are just out for what they can get, but sometimes there are logical, understandable reasons. As an example, relationships are sometimes in a state of decay and/or entropy, and as a result one partner's definition of that relationship and its meaning differs from their partner's, through no fault of that individual.

It's not true to say that all cheating, all the time, is entirely the fault of a "jerk".




GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 4:50:22 AM)

OP: you want to know why your DOMME cheated on you//??
Did you ask? Was there trouble? did you communicate?Was this to be a monogamous realtionship?
WHAT is your 50% of the demise of the relationship..?
oh and if you were closer you could come over for a cuddle..[:)]
GM




RapierFugue -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 4:56:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO
oh and if you were closer you could come over for a cuddle..[:)]

That's the second time this morning I've had the same mental image; the theme from "Jaws", and a single dorsal fin breaking the water's surface [:D]




youngsubgeoff -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 5:19:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

OP: you want to know why your DOMME cheated on you//??
Did you ask? Was there trouble? did you communicate?Was this to be a monogamous realtionship?
WHAT is your 50% of the demise of the relationship..?
oh and if you were closer you could come over for a cuddle..[:)]
GM


I did ask her, and shes ignoring me. It was supposed to be a monogomous relationship, we agreed on that when we started. We had a few disagreements here and there, but we talked it out like adults. I honestly dont know what I did wrong. Maybe SweetDommes is correct, shes just a selfish bitch.




sirsholly -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 5:27:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.
lots of reasons. It could be the Domme does not have a moral bone in her body. It could be the submissive is a total jerk.






kccuckoldmist -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 5:37:19 AM)

Women and this includes female dominants cheat for the exact same reasons as men and other women and in terms of men the reasons why just might have a different percentage.

1) They are players and scum.
2) They are human and occasionally/once screw up.
3) Boredom (subset of #1)
4) Not getting their needs met and instead of confronting them and often the fear of starting over cheat and try to piece together a life to address their needs. Often the need missing is to feel loved and desired.
5) Relationship is over but too scared or lazy to end it and in some way want to get caught.
6) Cannot handle being alone very well so while still with someone they troll for their next significant other before dumping their old one.




Drifa -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 6:31:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff
Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.


Probably because the communication in your relationship is nonexistent, or you would be asking her this and not us.

When you enter into a relationship, kink or vanilla, you need to talk to the other person and make sure you both understand the ground rules for whether your relationship is open or closed, monogamous or poly.

If you are just now discovering that she is not interested in monogamy, then you need to decide if you can live in a non-monogamous situation.

If not, time to hit the road, Jack, and find someone who meets your needs better.  If you decide to stay, then you need to talk, patiently, honestly, and calmly with your lady, explaining that her other men are upsetting you and why and see if you can work things out.




Venatrix -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 7:07:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

And sometimes, if the 1st were spending enough time with their partner, then partner wouldn't be looking for a 2nd to fill in that gap.



Bingo!  From what I know from reading about female infidelity versus male infidelity, neglect by the other partner is the number one reason for it, dominant or not.




LaTigresse -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 7:20:07 AM)

Geoff........the reasons are almost as varied as the people involved. To know specifically why the woman that you feel cheated on you did it.......you will have to do the work yourself. We, well most of us, do not have special telepathic powers.

While my telepathic powers are a bit rusty at the moment, if I had to guess, you own a good 50% of the reason. That 50% might have something to do with the fact that, based upon what I've read on here, you should not even be in that type of relationship right now. She did not realize that prior and isn't sure how to tell you, and/or doesn't have the cajones, to be straight up honest with you about it.

Personally, based upon what I've read, the last thing in the world you need to be doing right now is attempting a relationship. It is only giving you another avenue to vent and make excuses for your problems. Fix your own shit first dude.




youngsubgeoff -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 7:40:04 AM)

OK, so somehow its my fault that she couldent keep her legs shut? As for spending time together, theres a little thing called work that gets in the way. we both work second shift, and she has kids, and Im going to school. We still spent 2-3 days a week together though. So I doubt its that. As for lack of communication, we talked all the time. She knew she could talk to me if she needed to. So how is this my fault?




Venatrix -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 7:47:04 AM)

Geoff, keep on failing to take responsibility for your part in things, and you'll keep on failing.  As I said in another thread:  dysfunctional relationships are rarely the fault of one person.  Learn from how you could have done things differently, even if it's just to say, "I shouldn't have become involved in this situation in the first place."




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