Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

amy19808 -> Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/22/2009 8:32:17 PM)

Hello,
I am seeking genuine advise so that I can find dom. I have tried many message and read through the profiles deligently, but no responses. What advise can you give, or what dom's looking in general in a profile.

Is it the fact that I am a crossdresser, and into feminization or that people get the impression that I dont want to try something new.

Pls. let me know your thoughts.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/22/2009 9:07:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amy19808
Pls. let me know your thoughts.


In my opinion, it's a few things really. Let's look at your profile. I've taken the liberty of colouring the obvious typos.

quote:

In the work place, I am known as competitive guy. But only a few people would no, that I secretly wish a woman would take control over me, emasculate me by putting me in panties, skirts, or anything feminine and just make me her little girl.

Ok, so this is what you wish, fine. Not a good opener though. You should start off more with what you have to offer than what you want to get.

quote:

I am new to the concept of submission in general. My only experience of submitting to a woman, comes from seeing a local dom's.

Domme or FemDomme is the feminine version of a Dom. I personally am not picky about putting a capital letter to Domme, FemDomme or Dom but many are.

Was the local Domme you saw a ProDomme? If so mention it. If not, mention that she wasn't.
quote:

I am open to trying new things, and open to being a slave/sub. In fact, I would love to submit, just need proper training how to do so properly.I am confident that with training, I can be a obidient slave. I just want to explore something new and explore it in a deeper way.

Again, you are making it about you.

quote:

In short,I am looking to meet someone where I can serve you and meet your needs and I can learn and discover a new side of my own self.

Apart from being grammatically incorrect, should be the first thought.

You should also talk about some of your non-kink attributes or interests. It isn't a necessary thing, but it might help.

The other thing you can do is partipate on the message boards. I noticed your other 10 posts to date are all highly sexual about your kinks: "How can I get a mistress to make me eat cum?" Sweetie, after seeing such a "me me me I want I want I want" post, I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot cane!!

If you have a kink fetish about cross dressing but are not into submitting, then that's fine, but you aren't looking for a Mistress to serve.

Bottom line: If you really want to serve, start making it about the Lady.

- LA



SthrnCom4t -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/22/2009 10:38:34 PM)

LadyAngelika has brought up some excellent points. Something else I would suggest would be to post this in the Ask a Submissive forum, where other submissives who have found successful relationships spend their time posting. They would be coming from the same side of the kneel as you and share a similar perspective.

Relationships are about both individuals. You are seeking to be attractive to a Lady, so making yourself available for what you offer, not about what YOU WANT is the first step.

Read the forums, and find a common theme among those profiles that you find attractive. Ask yourself why you find them attractive? If they are Dominas seeking partners, figure out what traits they are looking for, and if it's the right fit, try to emulate / incorporate those traits into your character. I don't mean make it up or lie, I mean seriously consider evolving in that direction. Remember, however, that its not your perception/definition of that trait that counts, but the one who is considering you as a potential partner who's definition you need to fill.



peppermint -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/22/2009 10:49:38 PM)

My advice is to use online as only one of several methods of locating a compatible lady.  Go to your local munch.  Attend events.  Volunteer at the munch and events to help clean up, plan, take tickets, or whatever needs done so that maybe you will catch the eye of a Dominant lady who appreciates your willingness to help others. 

Delete the "do me" profile and start from scratch.  Tell about yourself and your interests outside of kink.  Tell how you could benefit a Dominant lady.  Plan on dating the Dominant lady much like you would date any woman who interests you if a LTR is what you desire.  If you are more into seeking someone to cater to your fetishes you might do better to pay a ProDomme for a session whenever your fetish itch needs scratched. 



OttersSwim -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/22/2009 10:53:59 PM)

1.  The pool of dominant Ladies who are into girlie boys is significantly smaller than the general population.  Realize that in the general population there are on average 5 supposedly submissive males to each Dominant female.

2.  Your profile is still all about you and your kink and not about what you offer to a Lady - what you bring to a relationship.  Your profile also says nothing about you as a person - vanilla like.  Just kink kink kink and laundry lists of what you want right up front. 

This has been said to you multiple times in your previous posts.

3.  It is going to take time to find someone.  Have you been looking in your local scene?  Get thee to a munch!



Drifa -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/22/2009 11:02:53 PM)

Here's the view from one submissive.Certainly you want to mention in there that feminization is something you are looking for.  However, as many of the dominant ladies have posted in this forum, a domme is so much more than a maintenance system for the delivery of kink.

Your photo is very good - the suit and hint of face are understated yet very attractive (all too many guys do nude shots, or worse cock shots, which is not really a turn on for most women).

I think the most important thing to SAY in your profile, though, is what YOU have to offer TO a lady that would entice her to meet you and pursue more with you. Part of the point of a woman being dominant is that she is the boss, she is to be obeyed, and it is her needs and desires that should be your focus. Whether it's just kink or also sex, most dommes will want to know you and have a sense of trust in you before they're going to offer you play or sex.

Do you have hobbies? What are your skills - can you fix things around the house, mow a lawn, do a pedicure? How are your vacuuming skills? Can you build her a new computer if she has the components and get it ready to run her favorite software? Can you teach her the fine art of fly-tying if she's a fishing enthusiast? How can you make a domme's life more comfortable and happy?

A domme is first a woman, and you are going to need to court her. Once you have her attention, you will need to find ways to please her outside of the bedroom or playroom. Your profile needs to give some ideas of how you will accomplish these goals.

Also, I would Google for "Philadelphia BDSM" and look for munches in your local area. A munch is a non-sexual gathering where people get together and meet and talk, and it's a good way to meet people and let them get to know you. Philly is a good sized town, so I would expect there to be several venues.



LadyPact -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 2:00:24 AM)

I'm in full agreement with the posters above.  I haven't read your profile, but that has already been addressed.

I won't speak for everyone, but I will give you My opinion as it relates to Myself.  I don't mean to sound harsh, but I have two primary reasons why I would not be interested in you.  The first one was already mentioned by Otters.  I am not interested in any version of CD or TV/TG.  It's a personal preference of Mine.

The other is related to one of your prior posts and I see it as a compatibility issue.  In one of your prior threads, I was under the impression that you were visiting a pro domme for the purposes of sexual activities.  For Me, that shows a different belief system than the one that I have for Myself.  For Me, the only way I'd be engaging in sexual favors for money would be if My survival was threatened.  From your prior writing, I don't think we feel the same way about that.  Though not everyone feels the same on the matter, it puts you on the 'thanks, but I'll pass' list for Me.



amy19808 -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 4:28:55 AM)

Thank you EVERYONE for all the help you have provided me. I really appreciate it!



DarkSteven -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 6:17:09 AM)

A few other suggestions:

1. You're not 50 lbs.  You entered the wrong number thinking it as kg.  That's a common mistake that hundreds of scammers make, and will make many readers think your profile's fake.

2. Your sole pic is you in a suit.  That's a good way of letting prospectives know that you know how to present yourself well, and you could handle a finer restaurant, etc.  If you also feel comfortable in a bowling alley or fishing, post another pic of you in a more relaxed outfit in a setting to match.

3. Browse other profiles and see which ones you like and which you don't.  Ask yourself WHAT about those profiles you like or dislike, and modify yours accordingly based on that.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 9:59:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
This has been said to you multiple times in your previous posts.

I haven't been following the boards, and haven't read those previous posts.  However, if this criticism is correct, OP, then either you are unable or unwilling to follow good advice.  This makes you either a stubborn bastid or a frikkin dope.

Do you really want one of those phrases to describe you?  Those aren't attractive traits in vanilla-land, and not many doms, male or female, look for them in a prospective submissive.



EbonyWood -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 10:07:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

A few other suggestions:

1. You're not 50 lbs.  You entered the wrong number thinking it as kg.  That's a common mistake that hundreds of scammers make, and will make many readers think your profile's fake.



I seriously doubt he is 50 kg either.  Not at 5'11.  Or maybe it's a vey thick suit over his bones.



GotSteel -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 12:29:24 PM)

Well, I won't respond to people with spelling and grammar issues. You might not be making it through people’s Nigerian filters.



PeonForHer -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 12:41:37 PM)

I'm 5'11" and I'm 76 Kg.   The OP would have to be careful not to turn side-on - he'd disappear.

This doesn't look . . . . quite right.



daintydimples -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 12:46:20 PM)

The profile makes it clear you are looking for a domme, but not, alas, a person.

Dommes are people.



amy19808 -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 3:45:17 PM)

In summary it seems like my profile was more about what I wanted rather then what the lady is looking for. I have updated my profile, and still thinking about ways to make it more appealing. Thank you everyone for all your help, I appreciate it.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 6:11:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amy19808

Hello,
I am seeking genuine advise so that I can find dom. I have tried many message and read through the profiles deligently, but no responses. What advise can you give, or what dom's looking in general in a profile.

Is it the fact that I am a crossdresser, and into feminization or that people get the impression that I dont want to try something new.

Pls. let me know your thoughts.


First thing I'd say is....learn to write.  If you're gonna do the whole suit thing in the photo...ya better fucking be able to carry it off.  Second....get a dictionary (see above).

Everything else.....be yourself...never lie (to you).  Truth is...you can lie to everyone....honestly.  In this venue...you can be anyone you wanna be...but it doesn't pay.

Be yourself.



DrkJourney -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 6:52:28 PM)

First of all, not sure what the heck you are looking for.  What kind of relationship/situation?  Looking for part time, full time, pro, lifestyle, long term, short term what?  I don't think you know anything about this lifestyle, you just seem to want some Hollywood version where some woman goes down your laundry list of wants, which can happen, but you'll have to pay her for it.

When I look at a profile I am looking for someone that I am going to allow into my life and my home, so I want to know about him as a person.  Will I have things in common with you outside D/s?  

I don't mean this part to be offensive, but in telling about you, you might mention what country you are originally from, sometimes explaining that english is not your first language helps.  People tend to overlook spelling and grammar mistakes in such cases.

I don't need lessons in what a slave/sub's role is nor do I need to know what a Domme's role is. Many have been in this lifestyle for quite some time.   If you want to discuss what "I believe", (makes me think of the blue collar guys at the end of their show..lol)  do that within the conversation and only if she asks.

I wouldn't put anything about your kink in your profile, save that for the check list to the left.  If she wants to know she'll look there, if she needs more detail, she'll ask.

Although many here have told you to lay of the me me me mentality, it seems that in your re-write, you just gave a passing glance, to serving, then you went right back to me me me.

I haven't really read all of your posts, saw some of them and didn't get past the first few sentences, because they were very "troll-y"    Personally, I think you need to research the lifestyle, seems to me all you think is it's ways to get you off, and how to get someone else to cater to you, so that you can live out your fantasies, nothing but kink to you, not seeing anything that says you are submissive.

just my take on things



LadyAngelika -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 6:52:33 PM)

quote:

2. Your sole pic is you in a suit. That's a good way of letting prospectives know that you know how to present yourself well, and you could handle a finer restaurant, etc. If you also feel comfortable in a bowling alley or fishing, post another pic of you in a more relaxed outfit in a setting to match.


I'd disagree with this. But then again, I have a men in suits fetish ;-)



LadyAngelika -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 6:54:42 PM)

quote:


First thing I'd say is....learn to write. If you're gonna do the whole suit thing in the photo...ya better fucking be able to carry it off. Second....get a dictionary (see above).


Wow. I better not ever find a typo in one of your posts, because believe me, you'll never hear the end of it!

Perhaps you don't realise how offensive your behaviour is.

- LA



LadyAngelika -> RE: Based on my profile, why am I not succesful in getting responses (11/23/2009 6:56:17 PM)

quote:

I have updated my profile, and still thinking about ways to make it more appealing.


Good deal! It is good start. Let it evolve ;-)

- LA



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625