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What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate disrespect


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What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate dis... - 11/29/2009 3:25:44 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Ladies. What do switches mean when they say as some Women have said on their profiles "I wont tolerate disrespect? What does this exactly suggest? I mean as a switch, do you not expect to be spanked as well as doing the spanking or do you have a Domme side which when it comes out tolerates no spanking from the sub. I guess what Im asking is how much of your personality is actually switch and would it be more accurate to call some Switches who want to own and control and dominate Dommes
Kevin
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 11/29/2009 3:49:04 PM   
Arrogance


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I assume they mean disrespect in the initial correspondence which is for some reason so prevalent; as in, don't message them with ridiculous degrading terms without ever even having spoken to them.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 11/29/2009 4:11:42 PM   
earthycouple


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrogance

I assume they mean disrespect in the initial correspondence which is for some reason so prevalent; as in, don't message them with ridiculous degrading terms without ever even having spoken to them.



I concur

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Arrogance)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 11/29/2009 4:34:35 PM   
IBused


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I won't tolerate such stupidity Kevin!  That's what they mean...get it?  

No, you don't.....ahem.


(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 11/29/2009 5:35:42 PM   
daintydimples


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kevie, my darling.....you really do need to realize switches are a breed unto themselves.

It's not so easy to determine what a switch is, or what a domme is, or what a sub is....you have to TALK to them, and find out what they mean. Then see if you have common ground.

There are no shortcuts.




_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?




(in reply to IBused)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 11/30/2009 8:23:49 AM   
Underumam


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Respect is something that one person gives another, regardless of their orientation. Many switches are disrespected or not taken seriously by D/s's who are firmly rooted one way or the other. I think this is the underlying aspect of their feelings of being disrespected...

(in reply to daintydimples)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 12/3/2009 7:29:03 PM   
LafayetteLady


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From: Northern New Jersey
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It isn't disrespectful to spank someone while they are in "sub" mode. But as everyone else here has already pointed out, it is more about how one approaches or contacts them. The really sad thing is that, in my opinion, that should be a "given" for anyone, dominant, masters, slave, sub, switch, top, bottom. None of us should have to tolerate the disrespect of idiots who send first emails that are just blatent stupidity, i.e. "on your knees bitch." Of course, those who do send those kinds of initial emails save us a lot of time and trouble trying to figure out if they are assholes or not....

(in reply to Underumam)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 12/6/2009 4:15:04 PM   
redwoodgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

Respect is something that one person gives another, regardless of their orientation. Many switches are disrespected or not taken seriously by D/s's who are firmly rooted one way or the other. I think this is the underlying aspect of their feelings of being disrespected...





Perfect reply and well said

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The thing about music is, when it hits you, you feel no pain- Bob Marley

The treehugger formerly known as Domahpet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

''ahhhh you gonna take me home tonight....''

(in reply to Underumam)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 12/26/2009 5:10:50 AM   
Aswad


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Kevin,

You don't need to be a lady to understand this one.

It means that if your first PM to them consists of saying "get down and suck mah cock, biatch!!!" ... well... you're not going to be scoring any points. Last time my An got one of those, she noted that, as impressive as a member spanning the Atlantic Ocean might be, it would still be less than tempting, and suggested he might autofellate instead.

Regardless of how someone identifies on the boards, and even regardless of what might pass for a dynamic at a later point in time, any prospective partner needs to know that you realize there's a living, breathing person on the other end, and that you have some idea of how to relate to other human beings. Whatever might be said in the heat of passion, you aren't talking to a collection of body parts. A certain standard of civility and default mutual respect is needed to engage in conversation, and conversation is a necessary prelude to initiating a relationship.

In short, the phrase indicates that the person writing it has witnessed several epic failures to demonstrate any awareness of these issues, and is fed up with it. As an aside, it doesn't do any good, since the dimwits won't be dissuaded anyway, and the better catches might be a bit taken aback in their initial reading, seeing as a personals ad is essentially a message from you to the people looking for you. Still, there are ways to put it, and ways not to put it. If I see a civilly put note on what is and is not desired in initial correspondence, I simply heed it. If I see a rude outburst about it, I instead file this person away under "go cry, emo kid," and move on. Sometimes, form is function.

As a final note, switches may experience additional rudeness from people who are unable to conceive of the idea that a person might actually enjoy a bit of variety without compromising their orientation. That may or may not be what one is referencing with such a statement, but the point is moot: maintain a decent standard of communication throughout and do not approach anyone you can't respect, and you will have satisfied their request either way, and be better off for it.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 12/26/2009 10:35:31 AM   
Elipsis


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrogance

I assume they mean disrespect in the initial correspondence which is for some reason so prevalent; as in, don't message them with ridiculous degrading terms without ever even having spoken to them.



Agreed as well.  Probably this.

(in reply to Arrogance)
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RE: What do Switches mean when they say I wont tolerate... - 12/26/2009 2:38:13 PM   
Andalusite


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It's disrespectful to spank someone unconsensually, regardless of their orientation. It's disrespectful to send pushy, explicit e-mails especially in a first contact.

(in reply to Elipsis)
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