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Gripes about trying to make contact with other members ... - 9/3/2004 6:36:13 AM

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

With all due respect to Femmedommes in this forum, i nevertheless have to wonder why there are some who advertise for a personal slave, or simply a friend to correspond with, when They either do not have the courtesy to reply, or say that They are not ready for any type of relationship.
i have not proposed marriage, collaring, nor any very personal requests, other than to offer my friendship and information with regard to my considerable experience in the scene over the last 30 years.
Another gripe, as it were, is about how some Femmedommes, who are obviously professionals, advertise here. With Them, it's all about money, and not simply about seeking a slave or submissive who is honest and genuine. i suppose it's a way for them to sell what they have without openly advertising, but it is still deception.
W/we are members here because W/we are either looking for some sort of connection, whether it be a physical relationship with someone, or simply a friendship. Others who are new to the scene come here to seek out information with T/those who have real-life experience and knowledge of the scene.
Nevertheless, it is disheartening when one takes the time to write a courteous note to another member, and either does not receive a reply, or the reply indicates that They are simply not ready to engage in any sort of relationship at the present time -- even though Their profile indicates otherwise.
Once again, no disrespect intended here. Only disappointment.
Sincerely,
philip

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/3/2004 11:35:12 PM

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline

Speaking only for myself - I have had more success, in terms of reply rate and actually meeting people, on here than on another well-known BDSM site that, coincidentally begins with a "B".

The people I have actually met responded to my enquiries here. The turn-downs have been invariably polite and the non-respondents remarkably low.

What I find more interesting though is the number of ads I have seen on here and at the B place for people I have already met by getting out to munches and play parties. On the other hand, I know one Domme who has had great success in meeting subs from this site.

I don't have an answer for you - just my own experience. But I will say, getting out to munches and play parties, finding a "mentor" (someone already well-established in the R/L community), networking and "becoming known" will probably pay a much greater return than focussing all your efforts at on-line sites.

Good luck in your search.

Respectfully,
D

(in reply to addicted2it)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 3:21:20 AM

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

Hello, and thank you for responding.
I do know of the "B" site that you are speaking of. I have been there and haven't had much success either.
And although I agree with you that CM does have a better success rate, I still maintain that I receive very few responses to police inquiries here.
As far as getting out to munches and play parties, I do. In fact, I'm a core member of our local munch group here in my town, which began in 1996. I've know some of the original members since then, have attended play parties, and have even hosted one in my own home.
Having said that, I still have had little success finding a partner localy, so I decided to expand my horizons and look further.
I've been working on this for 30-plus years, and I know it's not easy, even with the advent of the Internet and World Wide Web. I was attempting to enter the scene back before computers appeared in the commerical marketplace. In those days, we only had alternative newspapers and correspondence clubs (most of which, I suspect, were scams to extract money).
I have really learned to appreciate the computer, for it has allowed me to learn, grow, and especially to meet others in the scene. And CM is one of the best sites, even though I tend to gripe a bit when I do not receive replies.
Once again, thank you for your good intentions and for your well-wishes.
Regards,
philip

(in reply to subdreams1955)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 4:10:35 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/3/2004
Status: offline

I agree with you whole heartedly. In my search for an African American Domme, I perused the CM ads and it seems that everyone is all about the money. Now, I don't mind, and have no problem bestowing gifts and tribute upon the right person but it's such a turnoff when financial domination and tribute are prerequisites for a D/s relationship. It seems as though a lot of them are only perpatrators in the lifestyle looking for some idiot to take them shopping, pay their bills, run their errands, clean their homes, and give them an allowance. It seems that if your cash flow runs out so will they. There are plenty of other sites for that. Maybe it's just me but the ads speak for themselves.....

(in reply to addicted2it)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 4:31:09 AM

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

First of all, thank you for your response to my post.
I absolutely agree with you about the money aspect that is projected by many Femmedommes who advertise in venues such as CM.
I suppose that, for some submissives, it is a turn-on for them to relinquish cash for the privilege of making contact with a Mistress. However, most of us are not wealthy-enough to provide the cash flow, which is obviously necessary to keep these Femmedommes interested.
Mind you, I have nothing against professional domination, providing it is stated as such. However, I do believe that CM, and other sites like it, do attract professionals, who can only advertise under the guise of a non-professional seeking one or more slaves for her personal pleasure.
I do wish you well in your search for that special African-American Femmedomme. I'm sure there are some wonderful Women out there who fit that description, and it is only a matter of time and perserverence until you find the right one for you. Best of luck in your quest.
Sincerely,
philip

(in reply to netchemab)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 10:55:32 AM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline

What is sad is that even some of those that advertise as pro-domme's don't have an interest in replying although one would think that getting clients would be some what important to someone interested in money. But what do I know?

On the bright side, it only takes one gem. Just keep looking. Eventually you will find what you are looking for.

(in reply to addicted2it)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 5:01:36 PM

Posts: 178
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I look at it like this...if you dont put your self out there...your not going to meet......I know the "B" site and well......*cough* I'll leave that alone

_____________________________

I smoke...drink...and cuss.....wanna fuck?

(in reply to TickleToy)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 7:14:23 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it
With all due respect to Femmedommes in this forum, i nevertheless have to wonder why there are some who advertise for a personal slave, or simply a friend to correspond with, when They either do not have the courtesy to reply, or say that They are not ready for any type of relationship.

HA! Almost every male sub I've been in contact with has done this to me. The sudden permanent silence when they find out I'm not the McDomme we're all supposed to be. It's extremely rude, to start with. I add them to my block list so I won't forget which jerks they were when the contact me a second time with the same useless form email. (Which they wouldn't even send if they bothered to read my profile at all).

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to addicted2it)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/4/2004 8:29:53 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

Interesting. Let's see, 30 years of experience in the scene and your desire to share that information with one of us... is supposed to be an attractant? I like the childlike wonder and I relish and delight in sharing new experiences with people. Not that it's a bad thing, I am just looking at it from the scope of a woman who's only been in the scene 20 years. How do you think that makes a good lot of the Dommes out there who have far less experience than I, feel? I'd imagine it could possibly make some Domme very uncomfortable, especially if she's new to her role. Strong possibility that someone would be really toppy from the bottom.

quote:

It seems as though a lot of them are only perpatrators in the lifestyle looking for some idiot to take them shopping, pay their bills, run their errands, clean their homes, and give them an allowance. It seems that if your cash flow runs out so will they. There are plenty of other sites for that. Maybe it's just me but the ads speak for themselves

Other than that, what is wrong with having a man around to escort you places? What's wrong with expecting a man to court you the old fashioned way, open doors, clean house, whatever she wants. He wants something too, I know one thing, I'd sure feel used if he only came to visit when he wanted domination and he never lifted a single finger to add to my happiness. That and he'd see me once... and then he'd be dismissed permanently.

The way I see it I need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. If a man wants to be a part of my life, he'd better make a considerable contribution to my happiness on a regular basis and he'd better not add any drama or problems to it. So if doing chores is beneath you, or woman's work... and you still want a Domme in your life, I suggest you readjust your thinking. What men seem to forget is this: Strong, independent women, ie: a large percentage of FemDommes, don't need a male... if she chooses to have one around, maybe fall in love, trust me, she's not going to do it with a self serving submale who doesn't give a whit about taking care of her and making her life easier.

What part of we are in this together don't you understand? Personally, I'd label the boy who didn't cater to his Mistress's needs and care as the "idiot"... because he wouldn't have her long. Let's see, does one do errands or clean house for his vanilla wife begrudgingly too? If so, don't expect she'll take his crap long either.

So before you label this as a "LIFESTYLE" Domme trait, look around. You're missing something, if you want to be a part of a Domme's life, you might want to get with the program... because there are boys out there who are with the program already, and one of them probably already snatched up your dream Domme while you were busy complaining about chores.

Oh, and I don't mince words in my profile about who I am... but you didn't bother giving credit to those of us who don't hide ourselves did ya?

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/5/2004 6:59:32 AM

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissFem
I know the "B" site and well......*cough* I'll leave that alone

LOL.

10.0 from the Canadian judge.

D

(in reply to MissFem)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/5/2004 7:51:19 AM

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Ok. I have to add my rant to this thread.. As I am sitting here, after just taking a potential prospect to the airport. See contrarty to what is previously mentioned above, This Fem Domme, actually has the ovaries to meet and greet and welcome pontential subs into her life. After a variety of emails, and several lengthy phone calls, the potential sub flew in for the weekend, to meet and see what may or may not happen. Attraction was there, submission and desire was present.. but reality was missing something.

I make no bones in my profile that I have sadistic tendencies, and am seeking a LTR commited relationship and yet this potential subs experience was limited to pro-dommes, and truthfully, was unable to enjoy much pain... yet he was submissive, and did become weak when pressing his lips to my feet or his nose to my ass.. So I endevored to continue getting to know him better. We were fully compatible on the intellectual level, So where in was the problem.. The problem lay with the "C" commitment level.

Sub realized that the reality of D/s was powerful and intoxicating, and sub feared that he couldn't meet my sadistic needs.. But after reassuring him it was something that is gradual, and not instant, we pressed onward. Sub then began to question his desire. Truth of the matter is I began to feel as if the sub just wanted kinky weekend, without a commitment.. In other words... .. He was not really sure what it was that he was seeking.

I took the time and risk to open up and let him see what the possibilies could be and once he realized that it would require commitment and devotion on his part to have his cake and eat it too.. he realized that he wasn't up for the commitment that would be required on his part. I'm not saying it was anything that had to be instantaneous.. but if someone is serious about having a LTR with a mistress and becoming their primary partner and lover, then they must be willing to make some effort to make it work. In this case, sub had way to much baggage and wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship. ( he was honest about it so I do not fault him for that) He didn't know it, until play made him trip over the baggage. Nor does it appear that he is ready to have a relationship with someone who has a child. A truth that I do not hide, and one that requires a sub to excericise restraint at times.

Don't hold yourself out as seeking LTR when the reality is your not ready to, or not able to. In this case he simply isn't ready.. and the simple pushing of a few buttons made that painfully obvious to me. I don't fault him for having baggage, we all do. However, I do expect it to be promptly unpacked and put away. I think it is rare for subs to have the high level of self awareness that is required to make the sacrifices needed to serve a mistress. I suspect that my encounter has given him much to think over.

Mistress Zanthia was so Dead on Accurate in stating that Courting is a lost art, and that Most truly dominant woman don't need a man. We may "want" one.. but we don't need one. However, it often happens that we may choose one we think we want, only to discover that they are not really wanting what they think they are. Hence disillusionment occurs. I do not persue males, it is there job to persue me. If they want to be be cherished and adored and allowed to serve me, then they must prove to me that there is character and substance behind thier profile, and words. In other words.. the actions and the words must be congruent. Don't tell us Dommes that you want to suffer for our pleasure, when you truthfully have no clue as to what that means, Don't tell us that you want to worship and adore us, if your still fixated on members of your past. Don't Whine about not being able to meet us, when your not willing to bear the expense of doing so, and god forbid, don't stand us up if your given an opportunity to do so.

For those subs out there who truly want to know what it takes to please those of us who are truly seeking LTR.. Chivalry is not, nor ever will be dead. ( I'll be the first to admit there are plenty of Dommes who are users, just as equally so are there men who use us)

If you wish to impress a Mistress.. (at least this one).. Here a few things that might help.

1. Don't offer things,be it services or tangible things that you are unable or uncomfortable in providing. example: Don't offer to spend hours worshiping feet or body if the truth is, you can't. or don't offer to relocate if you really can't afford to.

2. Do be honest about your baggage, and respectful of theirs. Don't say, I'm over my ex if your arn't. and don't say.. I understand your concerns in an area if you don't.

3. Be honest and sincere.. in all things.
4. Do your best.. I can't over emphasis this enough. Even if you fail if your sincerely gave it your all and tried your best a Mistress will be pleased.
5. Always Remember that it is the little things that matter most. Take the iniative to do the little things. If you see a light bulb burnt out, changed it.. If you know Mistress needs coffee before communication int he morning, take the initative to have the pot brewing before she wakes.. and greet her with the aroma. IT is the simple things such as these that endear you to us...

Now to the poster who say we are just lazy bitches who only care about the money and as soon as that dries up were through with ya.. I beg to differ.. Personal service and devotion is priceless to me, and worth more than gold. I means more to me to have you bring me my coffee, and massage my feet, than to take me to fancy dinners, and impress me with your money. Not that I don't enjoy those things as well, but the way I look at it.. if you really and truly wanted to serve me and be devoted to my happiness then you would never hesistate in doing whatever it takes to do so. Be it, the big things, or the little things.

Anway.. that's my rant on the subject. I get so sick of hearing how the subs say we won't meet with them. But expect us to be willing to at the drop of a hat, and incur the expense of doing so. They way I see it, .. If they are eager and sincere they should prove that sincerity by taking the initative, and offering to meet. .. Oh, one more thing.. In regards to the whole Returning emails thread. I'm sick of being told to return thier email, when it is nothing more than one or two sentences that says nothing of interest. Polite and intelligent emails are almost always returned but ones that simply say.. "Do me".. or "Hi"... I'm not going to waste my time with. And ones that obviously were cut and pasted and mass mailed out, that clearly show the person didn't read my profile are simply annoying.

So to the original poster who say us Dommes are hard to make contact with, I say.. BS!.. Many of us are willing to make that effort, just don't dissappoint us when we do.

Ms. Eden

< Message edited by MaitresseEden -- 9/9/2004 10:40:26 PM >

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to subdreams1955)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/6/2004 5:05:46 AM

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Humm ..

I don't answer mail that is written without any attention to detail.
One liners just show zero effort.

Such as .. the Gent in my city who wants to meet me for coffee, but
doen't attach the requested picture.

Or .. the boy that is married and can only meet durning his lunch break.

And how about this boy- when I ask him what his skills are,
will write pages about his sexual fantisies and how I fit within them.

Pffft

Wankers!

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/6/2004 11:20:04 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

Eden! You hit the nail smack on the head: “I think it is rare for subs to have the high level of self awareness that is required to make the sacrifices needed to serve a mistress.”

This has been my experience too. I will say that I have met a few, even on this network, but for other reasons it didn’t work out.

I too have been accused of every thing in the book from being a man-hater to a money hungry bitch from people who don’t have a clue who I am and what motivates my actions. It makes me laugh to be honest. What a stranger thinks of me is so insignificant.

That said, I don’t see submission as a sacrifice. I see it as what it is simply. Everyone has a different level of what it is they want to give/do. I think people need to be honest about this and not try to be “super-sub, the do all boy/girl”. This is supposed to be about sensuality, passion, fun, caring and love. At least it is to me. (I know for some people it isn’t but I can’t speak for them because—and though I respect their approach because it works for them—I’ve tried but so far have not had much success in seeing it from their perspective, even if only for the purpose of looking at it from an analytical point of view.)

As of very recently, I’ve been seeing a vanilla boy (on top of having a play relationship with a female switch, sub to me). He is more well-mannered and service oriented then most subs I’ve met in my life. Without me ever having asked him or alluding that I would appreciate it, he opens doors for me, tends to my chair in restaurants and picks me up every time we go out. Recently, offers to do little chores for me now and then because he realises I’m a very busy woman. On the sexual end of things, he is very giving. I’m not going to go in great detail but every bit of his pleasure comes from worshiping my body. I’ve slipped BDSM stuff in and he seems semi-responsive but I think it is something completely foreign to him. To be honest, I’m in no rush to plunge him into this reality.

I’ll be slammed for sure for saying this but I find that these circles (not this site but the BDSM “scene” in general), while at times may help us find the like-minded and share ideas and experiences, can also be a place of negativity, limitation and brooding. Things are often reduced to black & white without taking the time to look at another’s perspective and seeing the subtle shades of grey. The sole common thing that binds us all is that we choose to express facets of our sexuality, sensuality and relationship dynamics in a way that is contrary to the popular representations in society. Other then that, we are all very different. For those of us who have a hard time with other’s difference, well this becomes a bitch & nag arena. However, for those of us who can respect difference, we can have excellent conversations that help us deconstruct our desires and potential experiment.

Free Your Mind...And Your Ass Will Follow - Funkadelic

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/6/2004 11:56:10 AM

Posts: 549
Status: offline

Angelika,

Amen Sister. . .especially to your last paragraph. I guess some people will complain about every and anything given the opportunity. They forget that this is a "free" service and as long as someone isn't violating the TOS, then they can put ANYTHING they want in their profile including "pay me and pay me now." Whether someone or anyone responds to that is a different story, but they are WELL within their right to be here.

I have no sympathy for the original poster. Who cares about your 500 years in the "lifestyle?" It would seem that if you have that much experience, you'd be able to have figured out a way to meet the kind of people/persons you want to associate, play with etc. . .since you have such VAST experience. I guess in that light, your experience doesn't add up to much, does it?

No one here owes you anything. . . much less a response to a communique that YOU chose to initiate. Get over yourself and get over it.

~Jules~

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/6/2004 11:58:44 AM

Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline

Greetings,

i'm not a Mistress but i do happen to be an intelligent woman that can see the virtual handwriting on the screen and i agree very much with the other Mistresses who have posted.

Ok, from my perspective....

Think about things for just a moment, boys! Any idea of just how many responses that Dominant Females get in a typical day?! Perhaps instead of bitching and whining about why They won't answer Your emails you should be sitting back and saying 'How do i make myself stand out from the crowd?' 'How do i show that i'm worthy of a response?' Egads, boys, i'm a female subbie (in demand but not nearly as in demand as female Dominants) and even though i'm pretty understanding and patient with people i've nearly reached the point where i say 'Yeah, thanks for telling that i'm cute, adorable, etc, etc.....show me something that's gonna make me care that you say that' Because until someone does it's all empty flattery and yes, that's been demonstrated as being such on numerous occassions. Imagine how much of that crap female Dominants have to go through?! Developing a jaded demeanor and a thick skin is about the only way They're going to withstand all the jackasses out there long enough to find someone worth Their time!

Ok, regarding the ProDomme topic.....it might not be for you but there are plenty of people whom that is just perfect for! They don't want a committment....they want a scene every now and then and are willing/eager to pay for it. *shrugs* Not everyone likes McDonalds but they do some damned fine business. And in reference to this being a free site and the Pro-Dom/mes using it as advertising....if i were looking for a Pro-Domme i'd appreciate having a accessible medium in which to search for one without having to pay redundant membership fees for something that might not actually garner me any viable options in rt.

Oh yeah.....there are plenty of threads in which female Dominants have taken the time in which to detail explicitly what They look for when responding to messages. Might wanna peruse that a bit!

Well wishes!

< Message edited by Destinysskeins -- 9/6/2004 12:00:49 PM >

_____________________________

Wilted petals fall from a rose like bitters tears wrung from a heart whose dreams have shattered. What hope for the future can be seen by eyes that are darkened with sorrow neverending?

i'm not manic-depressive, i just have an elliptical personality

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/6/2004 6:21:38 PM

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline

Dear Addicted2it,

If this may help, let me tell you that I have had a mix of experiences, from bad to good in making contacts with Dommes, including in those cases in the past where I was contacting pro Dommes. Getting no response is certainly better than an agressive and insulting reply. The worst that you can do when getting no reply is to insist with a second e-mail. At least here on CM you can check if the addressee has opened or even deleted your e-mail before reading. I can understand that some Mistresses must be subject to a lot of sollicitations, most often probably from people who know quite well that they do not match their profiles but who still make contacts, in hope I suppose that they could get at least some e-mail or cyber kinks. So, if you do not get an answer, just keep on moving.
This community is like the rest of the society, filled with all kinds of personnalities. You will find people who jump the gun at the smallest remark that they feel is addressed to them in a personal way, and some others who are quite liberal and accepting of other people kinks and desires, even if they're not their cup of tea. So far, I find that most Forum participants on CM are able to keep the communication at an adult and respectful level, this is the main reason I started to participate in the Forums.
One of the Mistresses on CM has recently turned me down as a prospective sub ( for reasons that I respect) but we remained in good terms and we kept the communication channels opened to exchange on the lifestyle and our personal experiences. This is not what I was looking for but she offered it and frankly, for me it fills some of the voids. In fact, she was my 2nd motivation to start participating and posting here.
I hope you will find someone who can fulfill some if not most of your hopes. Just don't expect it will be quick, neither a 100% match with your dreams.

Monsieur42

(in reply to Destinysskeins)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/8/2004 12:43:49 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Lets discuss gender........

Men gain power by financial and strenth means
Woman gain power by mental and emotional means

Woman gain power over Men by gaining control over their finance and strenth.
Men gain power over Woman by gaining control over their mentality and emotions.

now having said this:
each one of Us on the other side have a profile to which We put down what We desire, What we expect and what We do not. If anyone contacts anyone with out taking the time to read whats written first off then they deserve a big fat zero in the return email.
I take offence at the person be they Dominant or suplicant whom makes statements like:

quote:

i nevertheless have to wonder why there are some who advertise for a personal slave, or simply a friend to correspond with, when They either do not have the courtesy to reply,

I advertize that I seek slaves Long term 24/7 however the catch word here is * I SEEK* that means that when I am here I go out and I search out profiles of slaves that I have a interest in and contact them. NOT the other way around for Me. If you are a slave I expect you to ask permission to even speak to ME befor doing so. I do not speak to address to or accept submissives and this is also stated on My profile so when I have on average of 20 emails from those whom stated on their profiles that they are submissive and not a slave I erase their emails of interest to Me with out reading or replying to such for they are not what will fit what I seek. This has nothing to do with money, gifts but in the many suplicant persons whom fail to read the simplist of instruction and follow thru. This is just one sample of things that can cause a suplicant to be ignored or blocked. I am not a Pro Domme. I am a Lady and Mistress of a Lifestyle and a Dominant one at that and in order to gain control over the slaves I take on be they male or female I will take that control by taking control of that which gives them natural power and those are listed above in My first statements. JMO.

(in reply to monsieur42)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/8/2004 6:50:48 AM

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

i don't know the following to be true..given that i'm not a Dominant Woman, but i'm sure the Dommes on collarme have quite a full mailbox...i know in the short time i've been on collarme, i've sent notes to quite a few myself...and i doubt i'm the only sub/slave that does that...for me to expect that i'd get a reply to all of the messages i send is unrealistic, imho...granted, one would hope to, but realistically, it's not the case.

Another possibility is that i'm sure some of the Dominant Women who still have ads out, may have someone under consideration, and maybe they don't feel right about replying to responses to their profile/personal ad...

and of course, the third, and also likely event is that after receiving the message from you, they check out your profile, and decide that you aren't for them...it sucks, but it happens.

I will agree though, that no reply is better than one which is rude in nature...though if a rude message is sent, one should expect nothing less in reply.

As always, your mileage may vary.

sting

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/8/2004 8:49:43 AM

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Lady Angelika and I recently started a thread on how to and how not to contact a Domme.

http://www.collarme.com/forum/10_Steps_For_Making_A_Good_First_Impression/m_30125/tm.htm

Personally, I try to respond to all well written emails, but ones that simply say. "Hey, send me your photos", I available at 555-9999 24/7 days a week just do me.. and that is the extent of the email. I don't bother with. Even some of them I have taken the time to request a more detailed email answering what I wish to know. If they can't be bothered, neither can I.

just my .02
Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to sting516)

RE: Gripes about trying to make contact with other memb... - 9/8/2004 10:58:27 AM

Posts: 12
Joined: 8/30/2004
Status: offline

WOW! I read this out of bordom, and yes the begining was rather boring. Then i ran across MaitresseEdens post followed by LadyAngelikas, I had to stop there and go spend some time thinking...First i shall state im not searching for Dommes, I have a wonderful Mistress whom i am VERY happy with. But this somehow made me reflect on our relationship. It made me think of how she seems so much more pleased when i do do the little things. And yet I still try to please her more with the bigger things (jewlery, dinners, shoes...) Now I understand she is still pleased with these things and i should continue them, it just shined light on why she seems so much more happy when i am worshipping her body, or bathing her, rubbing her feet. It becomes hard at times to pay attention to detail. I get so wraped up in what a sub *should* be, not the sub i know my Mistress enjoys most. I have found yet again, that to serve is to serve the way the one you serve would like you too. ThankYou both SO much!
~Zarathustra~

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

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