RE: What to inspect on a first vist

RE: What to inspect on a first vist (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 8:48:46 AM)
Every dom and situation will be different. The question you should ask of every dom you WILL meet is "What are your expectations?" and you should ask YOURSELF "What are my expectations and what am I ok with?" For me when I do "inspections" it's not a fun kinky "poke and prod the naughty bits." It's a complete audit of the person- clothes, food, bills, schedules, processing, services. It takes a long time and a lot of energy.

gloriousangel -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 8:50:47 AM)
Lady I dont see him anymore no. It was wrong of him to do that to me in the park. Park of all places. I would of liked to be in somewhere warm where there is just me and him and no one else around and especially no children. Thanks again for all your responses

gloriousangel -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 8:53:08 AM)
Before I had the inspection we where in a pub and we chatted for a while and then he asked me to take my underwear of in the toilet and give them to him I did not argue I just went and did i was comfortable with that. Then we got a taxi to the park and that is when my inspection started.

swtnsparkling -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 2:39:13 PM)
quote: I dont see him anymore no. It was wrong of him to do that to me in the park You let it happen dont put all the blame on the guy you are just as much to blame quote: Before I had the inspection we where in a pub and we chatted for a while and then he asked me to take my underwear of in the toilet and give them to him I did not argue I just went and did i was comfortable with that. Then we got a taxi to the park and that is when my inspection started. You didn't know either of these two men and just because they call themselves Dom's doesn't mean you do what ever they say to prove your a submissive and want to please them. The first meet your taking off panties and being inspected in a park, this next meeting this guy is bringing his friggin toy bag? Use some Common Sense (leaving now shaking head and mumbling to myself)

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 8:14:48 PM)
sighs...I have to agree with swtnsparkling on this..I am sorry that you were taken advantage of, but you MUST learn to speak up for yourself and know that you are worth it.If you show a Dom you have respect for yourself,how can he not have the same respect for you as well....be well..and SAFE!...Tempting

HouseofBear -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 8:40:27 PM)
What should you expect from a first meeting? As has been mentioned, that which you would expect on a first date with any gentleman. Notice I said gentleman, chuckles. That means concern for your safety and comfort. We will not allow submissives to meet up is private on the first meeting, even at their suggestion, as we do not want to encourage unsafe behavior on their part. We also do not play on a first meeting, nor the second one either. It takes time to get to know one another. Do not rush yourself or allow someone else to push you faster than your comfort levels. And if your instincts tell you there is something wrong, run, as there probably is.

maybemaybenot -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 9:11:36 PM)
Examination? Examination of what ? If you're breathing and able talk, that's about all the examination needed on a first meeting. mbmbn

proudsub -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/15/2006 10:22:31 PM)
Here are a few threads that might help: play sessions and first meets playing on a first meeting

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 12:51:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren I would suggest you tell him to leave the toy bag at home. There is a good chance that your desires will overpower your caution at a first meeting. Take a day or so to think things over. There's plenty of time for play later... just as there is plenty of time for regret if you make a serious mistake. Given your history, this is a good litmus test. If he's not willing to forgo any change of play on the first meeting, he probably doesn't have your best interests at heart. I urge you strongly to listen to John, and Raven, and all the others on this. Knowing your history I would think a respectful man would not even suggest bringing the toy bag at all. But, given that he has, it's a wise move on your part to tell him politely that you have NO intentions of playing and that the toy bag will be unneccesary. If he argues, cancel the meeting, If he says ok, and shows up with the toy bag anyway, I'd fake an excuse in about 10 minutes and leave. If your wishes on this don't matter to him, then your comfort doesn't matter to him. Bottom line. Please, consider what these experienced people are trying to tell you...We really just want you to be safe and to have an enjoyable time. You are WORTH this kind of patience and consideration, sweetie. Cin

gloriousangel -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 12:53:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: proudsub Here are a few threads that might help: play sessions and first meets playing on a first meeting Thank you very much for the replies i agree with everything you have said to me

gloriousangel -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 12:56:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren I would suggest you tell him to leave the toy bag at home. There is a good chance that your desires will overpower your caution at a first meeting. Take a day or so to think things over. There's plenty of time for play later... just as there is plenty of time for regret if you make a serious mistake. Given your history, this is a good litmus test. If he's not willing to forgo any change of play on the first meeting, he probably doesn't have your best interests at heart. I urge you strongly to listen to John, and Raven, and all the others on this. Knowing your history I would think a respectful man would not even suggest bringing the toy bag at all. But, given that he has, it's a wise move on your part to tell him politely that you have NO intentions of playing and that the toy bag will be unneccesary. If he argues, cancel the meeting, If he says ok, and shows up with the toy bag anyway, I'd fake an excuse in about 10 minutes and leave. If your wishes on this don't matter to him, then your comfort doesn't matter to him. Bottom line. Please, consider what these experienced people are trying to tell you...We really just want you to be safe and to have an enjoyable time. You are WORTH this kind of patience and consideration, sweetie. Cin Thank you Cin i will hopefully be talking to him later today online so i will have a good chat with him

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 1:24:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gloriousangel Thank you Cin i will hopefully be talking to him later today online so i will have a good chat with him Good! Stand your ground. By respecting yourself you show others you recognize your true worth. The good ones will notice, trust me! And they're the only ones you want to attract. Cin

gloriousangel -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 1:46:25 AM)
Yes you are right. I need to lay down some rules for myself if he does not like them. Then he is not the one for me. Thanks again [:D]

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 1:32:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gloriousangel Yes you are right. I need to lay down some rules for myself if he does not like them. Then he is not the one for me. Thanks again [:D] That's good. Now, may I suggest you spend some serious time reading these forums, the non-fiction books on BDSM out there, and really listen to these experienced, wonderful people. Learn before you step out and do anything, with anyone. You must KNOW what rules you should be putting into place to ensure your own safety, and happiness, before you can even make this list. Literally, your life could depend on this!! Cin

PlayfulOne -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 2:16:16 PM)
I might not be the best source of advice for first meetings. My little one and I have been inseperable since the first moment we were in the same room but we broke all rulkes of common sense and should both have had our heads examined. that said, it was a mutual involvement, there was nothing coerced or forced on either side, it was just a continuing flow of our first conversation. BUT You would be wise to listen to the advice you have been given. No one should be going to a first meeting carrying a toy bag. Be careful, stay safe, and don't be afraid to tell a suposed "dom" off if your uncomfortable or they are trying to convince you to do something yoiu d not wish. K

theRose4U -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/16/2006 7:33:30 PM)
quote: He said he will bring a toy bag if I want to play Danger will robinson!!! you're about to set yourself up for a potential repeat performance.

gloriousangel -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/17/2006 2:56:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne I might not be the best source of advice for first meetings. My little one and I have been inseperable since the first moment we were in the same room but we broke all rulkes of common sense and should both have had our heads examined. that said, it was a mutual involvement, there was nothing coerced or forced on either side, it was just a continuing flow of our first conversation. BUT You would be wise to listen to the advice you have been given. No one should be going to a first meeting carrying a toy bag. Be careful, stay safe, and don't be afraid to tell a suposed "dom" off if your uncomfortable or they are trying to convince you to do something yoiu d not wish. K Thank you all very much for your help

unownedredhead -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/19/2006 4:41:01 AM)
I am sorry but I call BULLSHIT. No one could be this stupid. I don't think it really happened. That or you are the winner of Darwins next award..........lets take ourselves out of the gene pool people. dina

wetrope -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/20/2006 8:12:29 AM)
I wouldnt agree with the park scene, better to do the coffee or dinner and end it there. But a lot of Dom's want to show their stuff and go farther, maybe a little pinch, and little clamp, a little look, but u shouldnt just because you dont know enough yet. I must say that I have gone further when things were totally comfortable though. Now on the first scene he will likely give u instructions, u must follow 100%, try ur hardest to do what he asks, unless it is a limit for you. Whether it is how to greet him, (on your knees) how to dress, (or how not to )how to talk, how to get him what he wants. Of course expect you wont be perfect, and that you will require correction, but insist on instructions for the future so you know what he wants. You will get the hang of it pretty quick.

swtnsparkling -> RE: What to inspect on a first vist (3/20/2006 2:14:06 PM)
quote: Now on the first scene he will likely give u instructions, u must follow 100%, try ur hardest to do what he asks, unless it is a limit for you. They have never even Met yet. sheeeeesh

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875