RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (Full Version)

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RCdc -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 9:44:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
We have a couples profile, and Master stated pretty clearly We are monogamous. s-types send emails asking to join Us. Hope this clears up what i was trying to say in my initial reply/post. i am sorry i was vague.


I don't know about others who have joint profiles, but the only time we do get emails asking to serve, they are always the straight male submissive or bi who call his.girl. 'Mistress' - never women.  It's almost as though females can read or something![;)]

the.dark.




littlewonder -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 10:35:00 AM)

They're just looking for a quick fuck and will take anyone they can get. Has nothing to do with being dommed.




cuckslave09 -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 11:29:48 AM)

The only way that would work for me is in a poly household, where even the  submissive females are aboue me.




DarkSteven -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 12:15:17 PM)

Maybe they figure once they get their hands on you, they'll find the magical Sub/Domme switch...

I think it's located close to the lesbian/straight switch.




lizi -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 12:17:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

The whole purpose is much more basic; getting touched by someone, anyone, anyway.


Bingo - that's what I was going to say. It's a guy thing and it's not really about semantics or roles...it's about sex.




sweetsub1957 -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 12:33:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

In otherwords, LaT, those "subs" are starting to feel their oats and get Toppy.  haha  Well, good luck.  Manipulative subs.....


Given what I have seen, most of those submissives, aren't.



That's kind of what I thought too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

The perspective of many 'subs', commonly inversely proportional to experience, is that 'submission' entails laying back on a bed, head on a pillow, tied spread eagle, smiling, and announcing; "Mistress I submit to you - do anything you'd like!"


And here, all this time, I was under the impression that being submissive included things like actively serving, pleasing, making the Dominant's life more enjoyable/happier/easier, etc.  Little did I know.  lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Maybe they figure once they get their hands on you, they'll find the magical Sub/Domme switch...

I think it's located close to the lesbian/straight switch.



[sm=rofl.gif]




MagiksSlave -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 12:41:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Or asking you to join their family, when your profile mentions you want monogamy, you want nothing to do with poly, and list it as a limit?

We have a couples profile, and Master stated pretty clearly We are monogamous. s-types send emails asking to join Us. Hope this clears up what i was trying to say in my initial reply/post. i am sorry i was vague.




Can I join your family??

LOL sorry hon couldnt help it.

To the Op: I think we have all gotten these, I love the ones that come from Afganistan!!

MS




SassySarijane -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 12:48:50 PM)

The one word answer that comes to mind just reading the subject line is : desperation.

They want to be dominated by a female. Her needs, wants and desires and humanity don't matter, just a female doing what they want done to them. They want it, they want it yesterday, so they go after females to get it.

A pesky thing like the woman being a sub, involved in a relationship or monogamous or not interested in topping or dominating isn't going to stop them from trying. They figure any/all of that can be gotten around so they can get what they want.

They have a fantasy of how they want it and go looking for a female to give them what they fantasize about.

Just my take on it from my experience and observations.




Lashra -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 1:51:20 PM)

It could be that they want Domme's or it could be they want someone they can train to be their version of a Domme. We Domme's get a lot of "do me" subs and frankly most of us are not interested in them. Perhaps they think by attracting a sub female they can train her to be the "Domme" of their fantasies.

Just a thought.

~Lashra




Moonhead -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 1:56:24 PM)

Because there aren't enough Dommes to go around, and they at least know that subs have a clue how stuff works.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 2:04:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

Because there aren't enough Dommes to go around, and they at least know that subs have a clue how stuff works.



Hogfeathers. There are PLENTY of doms. There are not plenty of doms who live to be fantasy fulfillment devices, though. And, there is that whole "compatibility" thing.




igor2003 -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 2:41:45 PM)

Fast Reply to no one in particular

After quickly glancing through the posts I thought I would add just a little bit of balance here. I'm sure there ARE a lot of submissive men that contact submissive women asking them to be their domme. Personally I have never done so, but as a submissive male I HAVE been contacted a half dozen times by submissive women wanting me to dominate them...so it works both ways. Are they desperate? Are they looking for "just anybody" to play with their privates? Do they not bother to read profiles before responding? I'm just wondering if the same "factoids" that are used to explaine the actions of sub males toward sub women can be used when it is the sub women that contact the sub men?

By the way, of the six submissive ladies that have contacted me I eventually convinced two of them to at least try the dominant role themselves. Both, from the beginning took to the dominant role very readily. One is still very dominant after about 4 years (yes, eventually we met and I did serve her for a while). The other one I lost contact with after it became apparent that we would not be likely to "get together" because of distance.




wisdomtogive -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 2:54:38 PM)

Thank igor
That never have occurred to me, but i bet it does happen to male submissives. Thanks for sharing.




Mercnbeth -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 3:02:43 PM)

quote:

Are they desperate? Are they looking for "just anybody" to play with their privates? Do they not bother to read profiles before responding? I'm just wondering if the same "factoids" that are used to explaine the actions of sub males toward sub women can be used when it is the sub women that contact the sub men?
Lots of questions all needing but a one word answer - YES!

Why?

Based upon your story...

quote:

By the way, of the six submissive ladies that have contacted me I eventually convinced two of them to at least try the dominant role themselves. Both, from the beginning took to the dominant role very readily.


It works!

Hey - sometimes "desperation" leads to compromise which leads to fulfillment. You never know when you go down a path where it's going to lead.

I always suggest to people to cast the widest possible net; because if you are too exacting in your requirements you end up staying home a lot on weekends. Some should limit their requirement it to one word - human; and then go from there.

Looking at the variety of definitions and applications; sometimes the best way to find a submissive is to put out a profile asking for a dominant; vice versa also applies. Who knows - maybe you'll "inspire" them!




Drifa -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 4:54:52 PM)

I can't imagine how I could make my profile any clearer that I am a submissive, who is a lesbian, who is in a relationship and not looking. Yet I get an astounding number of sub males writing me wanting me to be their domme.

I never get women, sub or domme, writing me asking for a date. I do get a few dominant guys writing every now and again, but most of that appears to be form-letter spammage.  It's the sub guy males that are bleeding desperation onto the email like a nasty flop-sweat.

The biggest turn off for me in terms of relationship would be stupid. And people who send me these requests fall firmly into the "stupid" category and get blocked.




vincentML -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 5:05:31 PM)

Consider when you select Female Dominants the list is choked with Prodommes and Financial Dommes and Dommes from Ghana and Nigeria and Romania. I have nothing against Prodommes. I know they work hard for the money (to borrow from a great disco tune) I do have some concern about Financial Dommes demanding money, although I do understand the Fetish. It does seem exploitive, but then maybe exploitation is the Fetish, so I try not to be too judgmental.

In any event, my main point is males subs looking for a Lifestyle relationship confront a somewhat constricted list. Let me know if you think I am misreading the situation but that seems to be what i see.

The other point i would like to contribute is this: wanting to be touched is a very human need. I don't think it should be denigrated or reduced only to its sexual component. Just hugging is pretty damn good sometimes. People die from lack of human contact...maybe a little bit of an exageration, but the need is quite important.

Vincent




LadyPact -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 5:09:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

People die from lack of human contact...maybe a little bit of an exageration, but the need is quite important.

Vincent

I'd be very interested in reading any study that documents that as fact.




lusciouslips19 -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 5:09:40 PM)

They dont read your profile and they dont care. They look at your profile and think youre hot. So they most of the time arent really in the lifestyle. They just want to get laid and this is the avenue. I mean subs are sluts right?[:D]




vincentML -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 5:17:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

People die from lack of human contact...maybe a little bit of an exageration, but the need is quite important.

Vincent

I'd be very interested in reading any study that documents that as fact.



Mostly, I was being dramatic. Wasn't that obvious? I have read of stories where animals have been brought to homes for the elderly to facilitate touch and petting. There is some anecdotal evidence for the argument that humans need to be touched and to touch others. Research studies? I do not know nor do I claim such. Just a reach for empathy. You may disagree, but honestly not so important to me that I wish to debate it. And I am surprised at such an academic challenge from you.

Vincent




vincentML -> RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? (12/10/2009 5:21:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

They dont read your profile and they dont care. They look at your profile and think youre hot. So they most of the time arent really in the lifestyle. They just want to get laid and this is the avenue. I mean subs are sluts right?[:D]


I think it is a bit more complicated than you suggest. First they make the decision to search Female Submissives. So it is a deliberate selective process.

Vincent




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