Rednekcol
Posts: 15
Joined: 4/3/2006
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quote:
I do use impolite language at times. I won't call it "cursing". For me, cursing is an intent-directed malediction in which you are actively invoking negative consequences on someone - "may the fleas of ten thousand syphilitic camels crawl up your asshole and eat your pus-raddled prostate". Swearing would involve an oath in there somewhere - "by god I promise I'll bugger you until your eyes bleed" or something. Most foul language in use these days is much more like rude punctuation in sentences, people use shit or damn where another would say um or er.
Let me begin by saying that I liked the distinction Drifa began to draw between "vulgar" language, cursing, and swearing. Let me add that to me, as a religious man, the taking of the name of God, his Son, Alah, or any other religions' deity in vain is very offensive. This never goes unnoticed by me, and people who watch me when it occurs, even by people talking 4 tables down in a diner, will tell you that I visibly flinch. That hurts. Do I believe there are times to say those names? Most certainly. Do I believe that I should speak them irrespectfully, especially when they have no true meaning in the phrase? No, and I never will. Even if it isn't my deity, I have enough respect for others religions that I would never want to demean them in that way. I know how horribly I feel when someone takes the name of my Lord in vain.
For me, the rule is pretty straight forward. Say what you mean, say it precisely, and don't prevaricate. And if you know how, say it beautifully.
As for cursing, I don't feel it has any place in my life. I don't think I would ever mean the words "God damn you" or even "damn you", no matter what someone said to me. Though if I ever did, I think the words would pop right out, an occurrence which would probably leave me very introspective for days after wondering where those feelings of malice could have come from. So, for me, and for any submissive I were to own, cursing really is off the table. Whether the phrase be "fuck you", "damn you" or any more mild curse, even something like "I hope you get what's coming to you", I would be appalled to have it come out of me or a submissive of mine. Again, say what you mean; if you really mean those things, there is certainly something deeper at issue.
When it comes to swearing, my only expectation was, if you make the oath, you had best intend to keep it. And then you had best follow through. If it is something you are going to look back in an hour and say, I don't really care so much, then why did you feel strongly enough before that you needed to swear you would. But as Drifa said, this sort of thing is certainly not the usual form of "offensive" language we find today.
Finally, cussing, profanity, vulgar language. However you decide to phrase it, this is what I usually here. A cuss is an older word for a man of the working class, the average man on the street. Profanity has to do with religious or sacred things being used in an irreverent or blasphemous way, corrupting the original sanctity of the idea. Vulgarity is a lack of taste or refinement. Profanity to me refers mostly to the taking of the name of deity in vain, or the making light of things I take to be sacred. See my first paragraph.
Vulgarity and cussing refer to a social distinction in the English language that has, to a large degree, been eliminated (for better or worse). There was a time when the language of the upper class and the lower class were quite separate. There was some interaction, but it was minimal. In English, this dates back to the origins of our language, when the upper class spoke mostly french and the lower class spoke a somewhat distorted version of German. (Sometime in the near future, I will have to do a study on the etymology of most of our "vulgar" terms. I wonder how many of them date all the way back to this separation.) There were distinct languages that were spoken. When the English finally thrust off the French, the two languages mixed to for what eventually became our modern English, with a German syntax and a mixed French/German vocabulary.
From that time on, there was a notion, particularly in English, that there was a different language for the educated, well-to-do class and the common laborer. As the class system has broken down nearly completely in the past century, so has the distinction between the languages. So, while there really is no reason to believe a foul-mouthed individual has less education, the statement that there it denotes such is not without historical validity, even if it doesn't hold up under modern scrutiny.
(Okay, I know that most of the people probably couldn't care about any of that, but I am and will always be a nerd, and I couldn't help myself.)
As for my own opinions on the usage of "vulgar" terms? If that is the best word for the job, I will use it. It doesn't happen all that often, but sometimes, the word "ass" is simply the only good term, or "fuck" is really what I mean. I have no issues at all in using those terms then, and they come right out. However, too often I hear words thrown in as if for emphasis in places they do not belong. While I don't believe that hearing people color their average sentence with words like damn, bloody, flaming, bugger, fuck, and so forth necessarily denote a bad education, it does, in my mind, indicate a lack of self-discipline. When I use language, it is to convey a meaning. Language was designed for that purpose, and I think it is better used properly and undiluted with "color". That is my opinion; it probably makes me sound stuck up or proud or any of those things. Well, to some degree they are right. I am proud of my ability to communicate clearly, if not always concisely, what I mean, and to do so with proper English. Perhaps it is just my love of language.
Anyway, I stick by my rule: say what you mean and say it well. My submissives have to live by it, because that is something I have a strong opinion on. With everyone else, I am fairly live and let live, with the exception of my Lord's name. I have been known to ask people the avoid that around me.
So, for anyone who is still reading, or who skipped to the end of the post, I have my own questions. While many of the dominants have expressed that they don't care, or that they expect their submissive to be themselves, how would you submissives react if your dominant did expect you to conform to some standard in regards to language? And how hard would it be for you to change, if it was so required?
Also, while it would probably not be a deal breaker with someone I already cared about, especially if they were willing to change, it would likely be somewhat repulsive to me when meeting a submissive, if they were too free with colored language. Are there other dominants who feel the same? How about submissives who feel that way about dominants? And how many people would tone down the language just in case, when meeting a new submissive or dominant?
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RE: Re: cursing - 
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