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would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 10:45:31 AM

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
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i just would like to know...

if You get in touch with a Master/ Dom - sub/slave and communication is ongoing.

do You expect that the slave/ sub should show the interest while the Master/ Dom is more in a waiting position and observing?

do You expect that a slave/ sub put the energy in to make a connection ongoing? or should it be a two way street?

i am really curiuos to hear Your answers based on some experience i have so far - smile -

_____________________________

Love arises from the mind while the body follows and reflect the soul

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 10:49:20 AM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2
do You expect that the slave/ sub should show the interest while the Master/ Dom is more in a waiting position and observing?

do You expect that a slave/ sub put the energy in to make a connection ongoing? or should it be a two way street?

i am really curiuos to hear Your answers based on some experience i have so far - smile -

Whatever works for you. IMO if someone is interested in me, they need to show me. If I'm interested in them, I will show them. If they don't continue to show interest, I will think they have lost interest and will move on.

This is about forming relationships, why would someone who wants a relationship not get involved in the process of forming that relationship if it's what they want? If you're not ready to form a relationship and want to watch first, then communicate that and let the other person decide if they want to wait or not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 10:58:43 AM

Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

i just would like to know...

if You get in touch with a Master/ Dom - sub/slave and communication is ongoing.

do You expect that the slave/ sub should show the interest while the Master/ Dom is more in a waiting position and observing?

do You expect that a slave/ sub put the energy in to make a connection ongoing? or should it be a two way street?

i am really curiuos to hear Your answers based on some experience i have so far - smile -

I see it as this, when the conversation first starts, in order for the conversation to start there is some kind of interest (For Me). As we speak, I will find out as much as I can, from asking questions, the typical, age, married, likes dis-likes and then I will ask little questions to keep the conversations going, favorite color, movies, type of music. Since I am not looking for a one night stand, I do not concern Myself things like body size, breast size, bedroom abilites. I ask color of the eyes as it is a way to know them, asking about sex is leading to a cyber or can lead to a discussion on sex (Keeping in mind that many have different opinions, I am speaking My own only). If the conversation comes to a dull moment I will ask some thing more along the lines of little trivial questions, favortie summer activites. Anything to keep it going. I ask constantly what do you think of this, how do you think of that and then after a few questions, I ask for them to ask Me some questions. This goes on for a while, not for a few hours in one night, or even a few days. If the interest is not there then the relationship wont be. Me asking questions, is a way of showing interest not just in playing, but in you. The return questions show that you have been listening and giving tyhought to Me, as well as you have a mind of your own and can use it.

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 11:04:00 AM

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Joined: 1/23/2006
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Personaly, it is a two way street. A conversation with only one person involved is a monologue.

If she isn't keeping her side of the communication going then I will soon decide there is no spark or interest and end the conversation. It takes both people to build up a relationship both working towards it, both putting in effort.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 11:23:18 AM

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Joined: 5/26/2005
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NO...as Raven has said, it is a two way street, even though often times it feels like a congested freeway and your car is broke down on the side of the road.
A Master/Dominant should allow you the common courtesy of letting you know that he is or is not interested, so that you don't waste your time and energy in vain.
If I am interested in a potential submissive, I would let them know and expect the same courtesy.

Hope this helps, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 11:28:29 AM

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

In nearly all interactions, I have allowed the submissive to display her interest first.

I do believe such interrelation should be a "two-way street", as you put it. Having said that, I do not see submission as a "gift" to be given, and I certainly will not coddle a prospective or continuously massage her ego to earn her submission. If you desire to serve me, you will take the time to truly know me. When you have shown this energy and effort, I will in turn provide greater consideration to you. Play coy or display a paranoid inability to trust me, and you will be dropped cold—no matter how much of a pretty princess you are or think yourself to be. This applies to both the on-line and off-line world.

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 3:59:17 PM

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It depends on each persons personality.

(in reply to amayos)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 5:28:26 PM

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Joined: 11/1/2005
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i don't think Doms and Masters respond well to be "chased"; They are the ones to declare that a possibility exists. i have tried "Dom Phishing" and never been at all happy with results; Men seem to assume that i'm easy.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 3/17/2006 5:29:29 PM >

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 5:55:04 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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I am somewhat in disagreement with your philosophy, but probably not with your experience.

I get all the emails I can handle.
Just like you do, on a much smaller scale.

I will do anything......... LOLOLOLOLOLFUCKINOLOLOLOL!

(You haven't a clue to the depths of my depravity)

Oh, HELL NO! You won't!!!!

Just tickled,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 6:06:47 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Of recent months, the majority of emails i get are from those with whome I talk to regularty and thus is jusy normal conversations, some may comment on posts in either agreement or disagreement, some ask me to expand on something i've said and others are more conserned ablout health etc.. There are one or two who have been refered to me for help .. It is rare that I get some one expressing interest in the possibility of a collar ,, All is as it should be. If the miricle of miricles happened and there were a sudden migration of uncollared kajirae into my proximity, and one made contact with me, I would commense a dialogue to discover her suitability and if it was viable to progress to a meeting etc etc etc...... (Just because I'm not looking and have locked away the empty collars, doedn't mean that I'm not open to change).

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 6:35:35 PM

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Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am somewhat in disagreement with your philosophy, but probably not with your experience.

I get all the emails I can handle.
Just like you do, on a much smaller scale.

I will do anything......... LOLOLOLOLOLFUCKINOLOLOLOL!

(You haven't a clue to the depths of my depravity)

Oh, HELL NO! You won't!!!!

Just tickled,
Ron

lol i had to smile at this one... then i just outright laughed...

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 6:38:10 PM

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i don't think Doms and Masters respond well to be "chased"; They are the ones to declare that a possibility exists. i have tried "Dom Phishing" and never been at all happy with results; Men seem to assume that i'm easy.

candystripper

I wouldn't assume you or any sub who contacted me first was easy, just that she was interested. Always welcome, always flattering. Life is too short to worry about who has to contact whom first.

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 6:43:00 PM

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

i just would like to know...

if You get in touch with a Master/ Dom - sub/slave and communication is ongoing.

do You expect that the slave/ sub should show the interest while the Master/ Dom is more in a waiting position and observing?

do You expect that a slave/ sub put the energy in to make a connection ongoing? or should it be a two way street?

i am really curiuos to hear Your answers based on some experience i have so far - smile -

If I understand your question correctly, it is up to both parties to keep the connection going, although there will be various degrees of give and take depending on a multitude of factors, emotions, outside influences, health, attitudes, etc. Both will have to put in the energy to keep the relationship active and engaging.

So when you look at this as a two way street, that would be quite insightful as, after all, most one-way streets lead to a dead end.

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 8:56:52 PM

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

Hey Candi,

Cast that line my way next time you're Dom phishing ! !

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 9:00:32 PM

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I think it works just like it would in the Vanilla world. If the Sub is interested then they should at least give some reasonable sign. The same goes for the Dom. Afterall, they need to give some signals to each other and at least start a conversation...... or something.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 9:10:18 PM

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Hey Candi,

Cast that line my way next time you're Dom phishing ! !

Oscar Hargraves

Oscar, i caught You long ago; LOL.....love Ya...candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 3/17/2006 9:11:48 PM >

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/17/2006 10:38:32 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
(You haven't a clue to the depths of my depravity)

No, but I think I am finally starting to get one!

By the way, did you just add that photo to your profile? I swear I've checked before and there was no visual. I ask because I was really suprised...it's just not how I pictured you at all! Great write-up, too!

Cin <~ is a sucker for bald heads.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/18/2006 4:05:29 PM

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

. If the Sub is interested then they should at least give some reasonable sign. The same goes for the Dom. Afterall, they need to give some signals to each other and at least start a conversation...... or something.

That's the ticket. It's a two-way street. It's like any relationship. If someone stops responding to e-mail, or doens't return your phone calls, then that's about as gigantic of a signal as there is.

As far as being 'chased', again, it's a matter of balance. I would look askance at a woman who was innundating me with e-mails or phone calls. Indicates desperation, if not serious issues.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/19/2006 6:24:57 AM

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

Yes it is a two way street and if I cannot simply talk with a person whether in Vanilla or BDSM world i will very soon disengage.

I enjoy submissives that Politely message me, especially ones who realize I am going to take it slow and learn all I can about them, their wants, needs and desires and WHY they are involved.

Communication is everything.

(in reply to erebus)

RE: would like to know.... - 3/19/2006 6:57:07 AM

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i don't think Doms and Masters respond well to be "chased"; They are the ones to declare that a possibility exists. i have tried "Dom Phishing" and never been at all happy with results; Men seem to assume that i'm easy.

candystripper

IMHEO, there is no possibility until the two agree---a Dom may agree on a submissive--but the sub may not agree--it takes T/two to agree.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to candystripper)

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