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RE: Sisterhood - 12/22/2009 12:24:40 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Over on Fet, there is a group called "The Sisterhood", for female dominants. Being an old skool feminist, I have always had that notion of female sisterhood, solidarity, that feeling that we are all in this together, etc. A submissive lady I know is vehement that she is no one's sister unless she is genetically related to them, and being in the same interest group or gender is meaningless.

What do you think? ARE we sisters under the skin? Or was old Rudyard talking through his hat?


We are only sisters if we are sisters. In other words, are we in agreement enough with each other for there to be true support and cohesion? I believe a greater sisterhood, particularly among woman who live in female-led relationships, can become a reality if more women focus on empowering each another with support, communication, sharing of resources, etc., rather than engaging in competition, jealousy and one-upmanship.  Therein lies the problem with the idea of "sisterhood". A sisterhood needs not only to be on the same page philosophically, but free of the uglier parts of human nature for the most part. If jealousy, spite and insecurity exists, sisterhood simply won't work - no matter how common the cause.


Oh, I really like this quote and the bolded part in particular.  So very very true.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to SaharahEve)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Sisterhood - 12/22/2009 12:49:43 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Over on Fet, there is a group called "The Sisterhood", for female dominants. Being an old skool feminist, I have always had that notion of female sisterhood, solidarity, that feeling that we are all in this together, etc. A submissive lady I know is vehement that she is no one's sister unless she is genetically related to them, and being in the same interest group or gender is meaningless.

What do you think? ARE we sisters under the skin? Or was old Rudyard talking through his hat?


We are only sisters if we are sisters. In other words, are we in agreement enough with each other for there to be true support and cohesion? I believe a greater sisterhood, particularly among woman who live in female-led relationships, can become a reality if more women focus on empowering each another with support, communication, sharing of resources, etc., rather than engaging in competition, jealousy and one-upmanship.  Therein lies the problem with the idea of "sisterhood". A sisterhood needs not only to be on the same page philosophically, but free of the uglier parts of human nature for the most part. If jealousy, spite and insecurity exists, sisterhood simply won't work - no matter how common the cause.


Which is why I have almost no female friends. I cannot tolerate all of the hidden agendas and nasty undercurrents. It even exists among the women in my family.

I adore seeing my youngest sister fly further than I in some ways. It fills me with joy. Yet there are others that love nothing better than to tear her down behind her back, only focusing on faults and negative immature nastiness. I simply refuse to even listen to it.

My dogs and horses have proven to be better company than most women.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SaharahEve)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Sisterhood - 12/22/2009 1:57:16 PM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		I agree that some Females can be petty, back-stabbing and mischievous. I expect grown Women to have grown out of that stage, however. Sometimes, some never do. The Women I have surrounded myself with have been chosen carefully; they are not only dominant, but nurturing and compassionate and keep the BS to a minimum. Over time they have proven themselves to be reliable friends, and yes, sisters.


_____________________________

Saharah


S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sisterhood - 12/22/2009 2:05:38 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am glad that you have found such wonderful friends. There is only one in my life that has proven over time to be........and she is one of my sisters. It really is lovely to have people you can depend on and trust.

Please forgive me if my initial post came across more harshly than I intended. I work with two examples of the lesser qualities and apparently this has not been a good day for either of them.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SaharahEve)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Sisterhood - 12/22/2009 2:24:05 PM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		That's okay, I understand your pov. :) I have experienced the lesser qualities you touch upon, for certain. There are bad examples in every bunch.

It can be disheartening, but I don't let that cloud my overall perception of Women, having experienced their better qualities far more.

_____________________________

Saharah


S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 4:53:58 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'm glad you asked this question because I've pondered it myself many times. Have you ever noticed that men can be "brothers" and people get a warm and fuzzy feeling about it. But when women call themselves "sisters" that people raise a brow or scoff about it? Yeah, I've noticed this.

Women have always been discouraged from many things in the past and being in a sisterhood is one of them. I think some people fear of what they may do if women band together for a common cause and therefore some people do not wish to be associated with such a thing.

Just my two cents.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 8:14:39 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		And the part that saddens me is that the discouragement has almost become a part of so many women's psyche. As though they themselves, sabotage the process. Creating undercurrents, hidden agendas, competition, so many negative things that if you do not buy into the status quo you find yourself mysteriously on the outside looking in. Nothing was said, no problems were brought to light, but something mysteriously changed.

I find that so very few women can easily speak their mind and it frustrates me.

As an example the two women that work for a company that shares our building. SO MANY times I have seen them be sweet as sugar to someone then as soon as that person leaves the room/space, they are tearing them apart, and viciously, over some very trivial problem or issue like, a trash not not being emptied when they felt it was the appropriate level of full. All that venom over a trash can?!?! Yet that person walk back into the room and it's all fake sweetness and light again. And these are mature women, age 50ish. Yet, if you had an issue with one of them, whatever it was, let's say something like "hey, I went to warm up my soup for lunch and I noticed that the chicken and noodles you heated yesterday kind of exploded in the microwave. I cleaned it out but would you please try and cover your dish or clean up the mess next time. I would really appreciate it" Oh good lord! No matter how nice you said it, how carefully worded, all hell would break loose. Yet if I said something like that to one of the guys it would be a "Oh sorry LeeAnn, no problem, I will be more careful." Now they might do it again, and I might have to beat them over the head verbally (or threaten bodily harm....) but no one would get their feelings hurt and while they might roll their eyes or something, there would be zero lasting problem. No pouting, no drama, no passive aggressive retaliation. With the women I would guarantee it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 10:48:58 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		"The sisterhood."  Is pretty much a load of crap....Especially when trying to expand the "sisterhood" tent to include dommes.

I can understand women rallying around and coming together over an important issue, say, breast cancer.  They have walks and get togethers and I bet much of the typical catty behavior is completely minimized. 

There is a legitimate sisterhood of nurturing and support when it comes to the disease of breast cancer, from the support groups to raising awareness and funds to finding a cure.

Now we bring in dommes and prostidommes under the tent.  What do these people have in common that would somehow merit that they would share in some sort of a sisterhood, what, a love of cheesecake?

It's a foolish notion at the least.  Anyone who thinks that dommes share a sisterhood doesn't understand the concept or meaning of the word or doesn't , in the first place, understand all of the different reasons that cause women to  become dommes.

Women don't work well together. It is not promoted.  You are actually raised and in a sense brain washed to view women as your competition not as your sisters.


Now I could go over to Fet and start a Forum....."The Brotherhood of the Dom."  We would get along for the most part.  We would talk about fishing, fartin, football and flesh...It would be lovely.




_____________________________



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 10:55:48 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL Domi... it is so good to have you back and man... I expected that to be, well... far more graphic! lol I love it when you post like you just did! But... I know the other is comin! lol

Agree or disagree with what you say... doesn't matter... I love your take on things! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 11:27:39 AM   
DommeMae


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline 		Plenty of male jerks around too, trust in me. I've seen men being just as snarky and sly as women. They just force it in different ways. It would be nice to believe men are perfectly honest stumps but they're far from it. Don't forget to include the fact we think men are so much more grown up (on the surface, mind you) as part of that big mass-cultural psyche conspiracy. Want to stop the subliminal programming of women being backstabbing, weak and ignoble little harpies? Stop using your female relatives and two adult babies for coworkers as representatives for ALL women.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 11:40:02 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeMae

Plenty of male jerks around too, trust in me. I've seen men being just as snarky and sly as women. They just force it in different ways. It would be nice to believe men are perfectly honest stumps but they're far from it. Don't forget to include the fact we think men are so much more grown up (on the surface, mind you) as part of that big mass-cultural psyche conspiracy. Want to stop the subliminal programming of women being backstabbing, weak and ignoble little harpies? Stop using your female relatives and two adult babies for coworkers as representatives for ALL women.


Soooooooo, given the tone of this post I should consider you as a shining example of the reverse?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DommeMae)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 11:46:50 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeMae

Plenty of male jerks around too, trust in me. I've seen men being just as snarky and sly as women. They just force it in different ways. It would be nice to believe men are perfectly honest stumps but they're far from it. Don't forget to include the fact we think men are so much more grown up (on the surface, mind you) as part of that big mass-cultural psyche conspiracy. Want to stop the subliminal programming of women being backstabbing, weak and ignoble little harpies? Stop using your female relatives and two adult babies for coworkers as representatives for ALL women.


Get over yourself.

Men and women are different.  Women will say over twice as man ywords as a man in her lifetime.

Women are also just plain different in their relationships with other women. 

It's a fact.  Yeah, guys can be dicks and cocksuckers.   But across the board men get along better with men than women do with other women.

We will start fucking meaningless wars to kill each other off, but then we apologize and wait for the next war...We don't dress up for other men, worry about what Stan is wearing to the hockey game, or gossip nearly as much about our acquaintances.  We tend to speak more directly about our concerns when dealing with our male counterparts. 

A woman gets pissed and it's nothing but being bitchy or the "silent treatment."  Who wants to deal with that kind of shit?

All of the women that I have dated in my life get along better with men than women.  They just think that women tend to be too big of cunts, on the whole or hole.

If born a woman and also forced to join the "sisterhood,"  I would carve out my vagina with a pocketknife and then go watch some football.


_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 1:00:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I think that these days ALL people have a lot of hidden resentments that the can't redirect, feelings of powerlessness, and just overall disgruntlement that gets aimed at the innocent. I really don't see a gender bias, just gender-related ways of expressing it.

I am a woman who is friends with other WOMEN almost exclusively. There have been times in my life when I had close male friends, and I had wonderful male mentors, I just prefer female companionship and intellect. I am ASTOUNDED at the behaviour of some of the women I've met, but I think it's because they are just plain nasty human beings, and not nasty because they are women.

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 1:33:29 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		But you have to look at it from the other side of the fence.  you are in the minority.  Substantial minority. Simply because you are a domme.  I have no idea why you personally are a domme but I have my suspicions as to why women sometimes pursue this course of action.

Because you are a domme I can only imagine the overall opinion that you hold for men. 

Therefore, your inability to see the problems plaguing women as well as their relationships with each other is probably excusable looking from out of your eyes.

Just because we are forced to wear or own skin does not mean that we should be deluded into thinking that our own beliefs are necessarily the correct ones.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 12/23/2009 1:34:13 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 1:38:28 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I do see issues with women, and their relationships with each other. I just don't fully understand WHY they happen.

I am an only daughter of an only daughter. My grandmother lived with us for the last 30 years. I know about women, and the incredible evil they can perpetrate, and perpetuate. What I don't get is the actual POINT. Is it that they have bought into the patriarchal divide-and-conquer tradition? (hey, I had to use the P word!) Or is it some kind of deep level insecurity? Or, are they just pissed off generally?





_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 4:45:34 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		LadyHib, that is the path my mind wanders down also. Even here, I see it over and over again. Even on this thread.

It was obvious I was a bit cranky when I wrote my first post. Savannah replied that she has quite delightfully a very different experience. No nasty undertone felt, just that she has had a different experience than I. For her I am happy and even stopped and wondered what she has done differently than I, questioning even myself and how I may contribute, even without awareness, to my personal experiences. In essence, she replied in a way that not only drew me to her as a woman but also gave me a positive thought process.

I received another response from a different person that was, at least to me, full of negative undertones that made me feel very different about the person that wrote it. It gave me zero reason to contemplate anything in a positive way but instead only emphasized and strengthened my point, in my mind.

I don't know why many women seem to struggle so to have the sorts of friendships I see many men having. Not that I want the exact 'same', but in relation to the ease and lack of previously mentioned shit that so often goes with female friendships. It is a subject I have discussed quite a lot. Granted, most men do not open themselves to one another like women do. That sort of talk makes most men uncomfortable. Women like to talk to one another more, about deep emotional type things.

I am sitting here going through different possibilities in my head. Is it the competition? Men are competitive, then again it's usually in a different way. Is it that we compare ourselves to other women, thinner fatter, better hair/clothes/man/whatever? Yet men do similarly but with different things, jobs/cars/toys/paycheck/and yes dicks.

I am at a loss but still thinking.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 5:16:46 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Because you are a domme I can only imagine the overall opinion that you hold for men. 



I am not sure you would say this if you had read the ask a Mistress forum on a constant basis, judging by what I have seen posted over the years. I dont see any reason why a female dominant would regard a submissive any less than a male dominant does.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 5:23:23 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't remember her name, that Miss Ca. who answered honestly when asked about gay marriage?

She got the SHIT kicked out of her by both men and women. Where was the sisterhood for a strong woman expressing an unpopular opinion?

Where were the feminists standing up for her right to an opinion?


Women are goofy, but they taste good!

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 5:44:48 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Because you are a domme I can only imagine the overall opinion that you hold for men.


I personally adore men. Not all of them of course, but in general, yeah. I get along with men very well. I have a lot of close male friends. I don't see how being a Domme should alter my opinion of men. I just relate to them differently in a relationship because I take the lead. Other than that, I pretty much have the same attitude about men than do most of my vanilla girlfriends. Actually, in some cases, even better. My vanilla girlfriends are often envious of me for the strong, sensitive and chivalrous men I keep company with!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Sisterhood - 12/23/2009 5:55:19 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I don't remember her name, that Miss Ca. who answered honestly when asked about gay marriage?

She got the SHIT kicked out of her by both men and women. Where was the sisterhood for a strong woman expressing an unpopular opinion?

Where were the feminists standing up for her right to an opinion?


There is more than one kind of feminist. Most of the feminists that I know believe that gay marriage should be legal. Being a feminist doesn't mean that you have to agree with what every other woman thinks. We do not share one common opinion, one common brain.

For the record, though I have had feminist influences in my life, I don't identify with most of the feminist identities. I also don't identify with a sisterhood. As I mentioned earlier on this thread, there are about a half dozen women through out my life that I've been close enough to consider "like a sister". At this point in my life, there would be about 3 of them that I'm still really close to and 3 that I'm less in touch with.

quote:

Women are goofy, but they taste good!


I don't think that women are goofy at all. Not the women I know. They are smart and elegant. You behaviour on the other hand...

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 12/23/2009 6:36:53 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 40
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