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Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 11:16:03 AM   
slavejale


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings All and all.


So, i am currently a pregnant woman who has had the wonderful pleasure of knowing the lifestyle of BDSM and the way of life of Gorean. i have also had the pleasure of finding out that though i am NO masochist by a long shot, i do have a weird way of dealing with certain pains (except canes lol).  Anyway my question is kind of for the Moms (who have delivered) out there. 

Some say natural labor is very painful. If you had a natural labor or a natural labor up until the shot...how did the pain affect you. Or did it affect you at all? i hope i am being understood correctly as i do not really know how to put my question lol.  im basically asking, did being apart of the lifestyle help you in any way during delivery and the pain.   Some do a mind control thing as to not really focus on the pain, others may turn the pain into a sexual aspect (never heard of it but i am pretty sure someone out in the world has done it lol).

Also as far as breastfeeding....those who participated in breastplay (nipple clamps and everything) were you still able to breastfeed and if so did it hurt as much as "others" said it did?


Thank you in advance for your help and i wish you all well.
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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 11:31:52 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		~FR

Oh. My. Dear.

Let me ask you, do you know what your mother's experience was like? Sometimes that is telling. Other than that, each woman's experience is very different as is each pregnancy/delivery.

Yes the pain affected me. (~cough~)

Never was it sexual. At. All.

I think being self aware and then learning as much as you can are good starting points. Have you ever had to endure something past the point of what you were sure was your breaking point? Do you remember what you were saying to yourself?

Breastfeeding was bliss, for me.

Congratulations!

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 11:41:14 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I thought this was about having a masochist delivered to my house.


I am dissapointed.


Jeff

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 11:50:59 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Get a goose?

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 11:52:27 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Nope, I read somewhere the geese are all Dom's.



Jeff

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 12:01:00 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Congratulations OP.

Poor Jeff



2 of my 3 were born at home - absolutely all natural. Took absolutely nothing for pain. One was an emergency C-section. The after effects (pain) of the C-section were much worse than the 2 previous deliveries. Childbirth is unlike any thing else I'll ever experience. Can't say any of them were bad experiences. I read everything I could read, talked to everyone I could talk to and absolutely paid no attention to the women who were hell bent on a "medicated" delivery. I just didn't want to do that way.

Whatever works for you to "get through the pain" is a good starting point on finding out what may work for you in labor.

Like subtee, breastfeeding was bliss for me too.

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 12:09:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		First time had an epidural, still felt the contractions. Second time had a shot of morphine which just helped me rest between the contractions. I recommend getting pain relief. Labor hurts, not sexual, not pleasant, just like being constipated and trying to push a bowling ball out. Painful and exhausting and you just want it over.

Nursing can be a joy. It can also hurt, if you're engorged and your breasts are hot and rock hard. If the baby doesn't latch on properly or is too small to.

Do the Lamaze classes, the breathing is helpful in enduring the pain. Know ahead of time where to rent a hospital grade milking pump in case you need it. Ask your local La Leche person.

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 12:12:19 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		I was in labor for 26 hours and ended up delivering a 10.5 lb baby, vaginally.  I ripped and had to have over 100 stitches, besides the fact the baby got stuck on my hip and the doctors hand was up inside of me to her elbow to try and turn the baby.  I don't remember it as all that bad. Yes there was pain, it was tolerable, i had demerol the last 2 to 3 hours on the insistence of my doctor. I pushed her out in one hour. 

Does being a masochist have an effect on pain i experience, i think i may have a higher tolerance for it, but i don't enjoy it.


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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 4:00:15 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I had natural childbirth.

I don't wanna scare ya so I'll just say uumm..yeah..there's a reason that I only have on child and my tubes tied. lol.

Then again I'm not a masochist so dunno...

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 4:10:30 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I had a natural labour with no drugs and no intervention whatsoever - it took a while (around 23 hours) but because there was no medical intervention, my body was able to do what it was supposed to do naturally. It helped that I had a water birth: it helped with the pain and the warm water felt soothing. Being able to float and kick through the contractions was wonderful. I also had a bottle of Entonox (gas and air to breathe through a mask) to take the edge of the pain, but I hear that in the U.S. they don't provide women with that (which I think is stupid, by the way).

The thing with the pain of labour is that it's a pain that makes sense. The pain is there for a reason. Your body and mind become synchro and a kind of very primitive thing takes over and allows you to bear the pain. That's what happened to me anyway, and I'm grateful for it - I was able to walk out of the hospital a few hours later with my baby in my arms. No tear, no damage :-) .

I recommend it. Epidurals tend to raise the incidence of perineal tearing and the need for episiotomies.

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 4:55:01 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		this slave had three...all natural.  refusing the epidural was the first time this slave was asked if she was a masochist.
 
the pain was excrutiating...and lasted about 4 hours for all three...
 
ripped back beyond the episotomy with #1 and because the boy (#2) was bigger and the labor was rapid, this slave ripped, both ways, and had to be sewn back together, including her anus.
 
this slave believes being a masochist helped this slave to make the choice to accept and deal with the pain instead of fight and medicate it.

as for breastfeeding, this slave was only able to pull that off for a few weeks before her breasts refused to function as nature intended and had to bottle feed all 3...for the record, at that time, this slave's breasts had not been on the receiving end of any kind of breast torture. 

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/29/2009 5:18:31 PM >

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 5:43:10 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline 		Number one, was a treat; only about 3ish hours of extreme ‘menstrual’ type, labor pain. Had the father rubbing my back to help; I tried to lay down on my back when it was time to push, but then jumped up yelling “It burns… It burns!!!”

I figured out later he had rubbed the first few layers of flesh off of my back.

Got the urge to push while sitting on the toilet; shit luck.

Only two pushes and he was out. The nurse had to convince me it was a good idea to rest in between. She was right; oh my achin’ ass, hemorrhoids are not fun!!

I also tore, but only 3-5 stitches worth.

Number 2, was a bit easier, and I was cut, to prevent tearing.

Number 3, took forever. I suspect my wispiness, by the time she was born, was more due to a lack of sleep then actual pain; I had walked the floors, following a path that traveled outside, around the hospital, and back to my room, more than half the night. She was the only one I asked for something to help with labor, but it was also induced labor; which is a slightly different type of labor, as it tends to starts strong, and doesn’t let up until it is over.

I found the sensation of having ‘ice cold’ fluid, traveling up the vein in my arm, by way of IV, to be an interesting challenge. Clenching and relaxing my fist aided in relieving some of that.

Tears without sobbing… mmmmm.

Breastfeeding, as short lived as it was; a piece of cake.

Kim


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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 6:48:29 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejale

Some say natural labor is very painful. If you had a natural labor or a natural labor up until the shot...how did the pain affect you.
Also as far as breastfeeding....those who participated in breastplay (nipple clamps and everything) were you still able to breastfeed and if so did it hurt as much as "others" said it did?


Greetings jale,

Best wishes to you!

Yes, labor hurts.  Imagine the worst possible menstrual cramps in the world (because that's really what it is. well, only more).  Imagine pain that is also the hardest work your body has ever done. Your body just has to ride the contractions.  You have to be able to give up control, even the merest breath of desire for control, and let your body do what it must.  Primitive. Primal. Breathing, radical acceptance and the support of a well-trained L&D nurse, midwife, or doula will be beneficial. Water is wonderful.  Walk as much and as long as you can.  Undignified positions can be your friend. Don't go to the hospital (if you are birthing in a hospital) before you have to--it won't make the baby come any faster!

Both my offspring were emergency c-sections in the end, but i did labor and it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. I won't sugar coat, but i don't intend you scare you either.  It is just hard, yes, that's it--hard. Even more than painful. Think of mountain climbers and triathletes and the chicks that swim the English channel--ya gotta keep going, even when you want to stop.  It's wild.  I wish you all the best!

I nursed for...well, way too long, some would say ;-).  Nothing about SM affected my ability as far as i could tell.  If anything, again, an ability to accept and work with discomfort is a benefit.  Plus, my nipples might have been a litttle toughened up. And it is pressure, think pinching, that builds keratin--don't go near those babies (your nipples) with a toothbrush! :-)

Peace,
aj


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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 6:58:52 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I had two, without any pain medication, natural childbirths (one child was 10lbs), I recommend having a supportive person with you, and practicing focal points and breathing.

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 7:03:03 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Congratulations on your impending birth.

I never actually went into labor with my son, so I have no idea what labor pains feel like. They did inject me with enough petocin to make an elephant give birth, but everytime I thought *maybe* a labor pain was coming....alas, just gas, lol.

I honestly won't attempt to opine on whether being a masochist would be helpful, but I will say this....

Don't let anyone try to force you to take any drugs if you don't want them. But don't let anyone try to dissuade you from having drugs if that is what you feel is better for you either. It is YOUR decision, not anyone on this board, the nurse or the doctor, or your family.

So do your research and make your decision. Whichever you choose is the right decision. Same thing with breastfeeding. People who will try to make you feel guilty about what you decide need to mind their own business. You will bond with your baby no matter what you decide. I'm sure people will flame my statement as being untrue, but you know what? Many women adopt and they didn't experience childbirth and they didn't breastfeed and they bonded just fine. My mother was one of those women and anyone who would try to say we weren't bonded needs their head examined. Also, I didn't breastfeed my son and he was far healthier than any of his breast fed buddies.

So make YOUR decision without any guilt about what others may think or the idea that you won't "properly" bond with your baby.

On a lighter note....on a recent episode of "Tyra" (yes, I know, I know) she had a woman on the show who had a poly household, her, her husband and a boyfriend. She had a child by I think the boyfriend, I don't remember. Anyway, they had something called an "Orgasmic Birth." No kidding, apparently, hubby and boyfriend were both there (which I think is really cool) and they not only comforted her, but stimulated her to arousal and orgasm all through labor.

So I guess if someone really wants to, childbirth CAN be sexual. Wouldn't have been something I chose, but it worked for them and they were happy with it, so it's all good.

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 7:15:30 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline 		One other thing that came to mind...

Breast filling with milk, even without breastfeeding, caused an "OMG don't touch them!!", response.

I heard cabbage leaves, I think, can help with that; never actually tried it.

Kim

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 7:28:17 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I did the cabbage leaves thing: went to the supermarket and just nicked a couple of leaves off a cabbage (I wasn't going to buy the whole thing just for the leaves - I fucking hate cabbage). It worked, but I reeked of soup all day lol!

I breastfed for a long, long time: came easily, apart from a couple of tweaking problems at the beginning. It can be a very fulfilling sensation, but even better is that it's such an easy way to feed the baby.



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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 7:38:12 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I breastfed for a long, long time: came easily, apart from a couple of tweaking problems at the beginning. It can be a very fulfilling sensation, but even better is that it's such an easy way to feed the baby.



Oh yes, operating appliances in the middle of the night is not my forte.  Toting 10 pounds of stuff around for an 8 pound infant who couldn't care less is over-rated (As is, honestly, spooning mush into reluctant little mouths.)  SO much 'baby stuff' is so unnecessary (cute! but not really necessary).  Return everything but the diapers and blankets to the store and stick the money in a college fund :-).

Peace,
aj

P.S. Cabbage leaves do work!


< Message edited by alittleevil -- 12/29/2009 7:39:06 PM >

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 7:46:21 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I had to put a stop to it when he started helping himself .

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RE: Masochist and Delivery!!!!!! - 12/29/2009 8:06:27 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I did the cabbage leaves thing: went to the supermarket and just nicked a couple of leaves off a cabbage (I wasn't going to buy the whole thing just for the leaves - I fucking hate cabbage). It worked, but I reeked of soup all day lol!



Lol... I can't stand the smell of it either.

quote:

It can be a very fulfilling sensation


Yes. I was glad I took the opportunity with the last one; wished I had tried it sooner.

Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

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