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Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 6:59:14 AM

GddssBella

Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
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G'morning all:

I've heard all kinds of references made to "training collars", "collars of consideration", "collars of protection", what have you. My own personal opinion is that a collar is equivalent to vanilla marriage. It should not be given or taken lightly. These other "levels" are something I've seen bandied about, here and in other circles. I'd like some input, views, ideas, definitions as to these "other" collars and when such circumstances are feasible, warranted, or desirable.

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

Post #: 1

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 7:06:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

made to "training collars", "collars of consideration", "collars of protection", what have you. My own personal opinion is that a collar is equivalent to vanilla marriage. It should not be given or taken lightly. These other "levels" are something I've seen bandied about, here and in other circles. I'd like some input, views, ideas, definitions as to these "other" collars and when such circumstances are feasible, warranted, or desirable.

Collars are symbols, we can make them into whatever it is that we like. I use collars for decoration and just for play scenes. Some people don't use collars at all.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 2

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 7:14:37 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

The argument that I've heard is: Yes, a permanent collar is much like a marriage. However, there are "stages" even in a vanilla relationship, before the marriage. We date casually, then we date exclusively, then we are engaged and THEN we are married. Since a Ds or Ms relationship is about formality and usually contains protocols, it seems logical to formalize the dating stages, too.

While I see the logic, I'm not totally sure I agree. In the end, it's about what the D or M wants.

Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 3

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 7:19:54 AM

BrianSenior

Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

In My opinion the collars for things such as protection is for on line. As there are new submissives that are taken advantage of, the collar of protection is given by a Top who is not looking to take on the submissive, but to aid them in finding someone who will be a suitable match. Help them to learn and gain knowledge in themselves, while "Protecting" them from people who would mis-use them. No it does not always work and at one time or another it seems most fall victim of undesirables, this is just My opinion on the protection collar. A collar of consideration is a collar given to some one when the interest is there on both parties. The interest is there but not quiet sure if it is going to be a full collaring. The collar of consideration is a step up (So to speak) from protection as it does show owenrship. While wearing the collar of consideration, the submissive is under the protection of the Top whom she accepted the collar. The permanat collar is one that is on 24/7 With regards to bathing, work, shcool e t c. and it is the final step or finalizes the relationship to where the submissive gives her self to the Top. I am not saying this is what I do, but what I see done.

~BK~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 7:22:55 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I use the Collars to denote the stages in a relationship--currently I have My boy under a Training Collar---to Me that means we are "going steady" as they say.

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Mistress Hathor

(in reply to BrianSenior)

Post #: 5

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 7:31:55 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

i've had a "collar of consideration" which lasted 24 hrs; a "collar of protection" which eased my mind, if nothing else; and -- though i swore i never do it -- an "online collar". Lost a good friend that way. Now i'm leery of anything short of the Real Deal.

candystripper

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 6

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 8:02:13 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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The Collars & Slaves Of House Iron Bear: Regarding Collars ~ we use a system whereby initially you would receive a House Collar (This acts as a Collar of Consideration, (See my comments next paragraph) Training Collar and later simply indicate that you are owned jointly by both Lady Neets and Myself). When ready, you may be offered a Personal Collar by either Lady Neets or Myself, at which time you become the personal slave of either one of us. However you will still be expected to serve both of us as required and as defined at the time of collaring.

Thus, the first Collar is the House Collar and is a Probationary one. The Probationary Collar is in effect a Collar of Consideration and may last for a minimum of 30 days to several months. It is in this time you will receive your basic training regarding service, and allows both you and us to learn about each other and decide if this is the right choice or not.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 7

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 8:05:20 AM

Submotive

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline

Presently i am honored to wear Master's training collar, which signifies that W/we are exclusive with O/one A/another, and that He is training me to serve Him according to His specific desires and requirements. This collar is in the form of a necklace so that i never need to remove it while i participate in all my activities - work, etc. However, Master places a more obvious collar on me for serious play and BDSM activities.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

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Post #: 8

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 8:15:10 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I've seen collars of protection given in real life and work well for both parties, as long as both parties know and agree to the reasons and conditions of the collar. I've also seen collars of protections used for the sole perpose of corralling a submissive. Not something that I would consider an honorable act. If one wants her for himself, he should simply state such. Not misrepresent himself in order to attain his desire.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to BrianSenior)

Post #: 9

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 8:58:34 AM

upherass

Posts: 31
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline

In cyber all things are possible.
All these different collars seem mostly velcro and a way to get sex.

Unless earned, over time, a collar isn't going to mean anything to me. (jmo)

I agree with Bella.

(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 10

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 9:18:09 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

In My opinion the collars for things such as protection is for on line.

Um yeah, thanks for playing...try again.

quote:

As there are new submissives that are taken advantage of, the collar of protection is given by a Top who is not looking to take on the submissive, but to aid them in finding someone who will be a suitable match. Help them to learn and gain knowledge in themselves, while "Protecting" them from people who would mis-use them. No it does not always work and at one time or another it seems most fall victim of undesirables, this is just My opinion on the protection collar. A collar of consideration is a collar given to some one when the interest is there on both parties. The interest is there but not quiet sure if it is going to be a full collaring. The collar of consideration is a step up (So to speak) from protection as it does show owenrship. While wearing the collar of consideration, the submissive is under the protection of the Top whom she accepted the collar. The permanat collar is one that is on 24/7 With regards to bathing, work, shcool e t c. and it is the final step or finalizes the relationship to where the submissive gives her self to the Top. I am not saying this is what I do, but what I see done.

I wonder what the thousands, probably millions of couples think of this sophomoric explanation of collaring you just uttered. Makes me question if you are one of those people who only operates 'on-line' as you say.

Well, out here in the big, bright world of REAL TIME BDSM (WIIWD) there are all kinds of reasons for having a collar of some kind. Not much of which I really see is some kind of 'protection for online', as being at home in my house away from a cyberdom doesn't exactly require any 'protection'; In my opinion, it requires a reality check.

Sir offered me a training collar and contract in December. I accepted it and at the end of that contract period, we will either extend the contract for more training, move into a permanant collar or part amicably. So I fail to see where the protection part comes in aside from it lets the people who are in our community know that we have entered into a committed D/s relationship.

Kassie

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 3/20/2006 9:19:05 AM >

_____________________________

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~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to BrianSenior)

Post #: 11

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 9:37:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
So I fail to see where the protection part comes in aside from it lets the people who are in our community know that we have entered into a committed D/s relationship.

Kassie

I think a great majority of it comes into play so that the submissive doesn't have to take responsibility for telling "no" to someone- she can thrust forward her "collar" and let that explain it for her and not feel bad. And then of course when someone doesn't recognize the glory of the collar and FORCE the sub to actually stand up and say no...well then they are just bad bad bad doms.

And they like the romanticism of having a collar, having someone take that much interest in them and feeling like they don't have to worry anymore.

Of course the fact that someone feels a need for all this SOLELY from cyber interactions is not a good sign overall, certainly not if they actually want to deal with people offline.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 12

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 9:59:53 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Collars mean different things to different people.

And a collar does not equal marriage. At least not in the legally binding, recognized by the state, difficult to dissolve ways.

A better approach would be for two people to have a clear understanding of where they are and to define their own relationship, that's really the only thing that matters anyway.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 13

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 10:02:48 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrianSenior
In My opinion the collars for things such as protection is for on line.

Years ago I may have agreed with you. However once I started to meet and mix with people who were no on line I found your concept a fallacy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrianSenior
As there are new submissives that are taken advantage of, the collar of protection is given by a Top who is not looking to take on the submissive, but to aid them in finding someone who will be a suitable match. Help them to learn and gain knowledge in themselves, while "Protecting" them from people who would mis-use them. No it does not always work and at one time or another it seems most fall victim of undesirables, this is just My opinion on the protection collar.

Ideally this is what a Collar of Protection is all about. Guess what I have found more genuine people allowing a sub/slave to use such a collar than I have found people of either persuasion mis-using them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrianSenior A collar of consideration is a collar given to some one when the interest is there on both parties. The interest is there but not quiet sure if it is going to be a full collaring. The collar of consideration is a step up (So to speak) from protection as it does show owenrship. While wearing the collar of consideration, the submissive is under the protection of the Top whom she accepted the collar.

I’ll agree with this on a general basis, but of course there is occasional mis-use of this collar too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrianSenior The permanat collar is one that is on 24/7 With regards to bathing, work, shcool e t c. and it is the final step or finalizes the relationship to where the submissive gives her self to the Top. I am not saying this is what I do, but what I see done.

Actually no. If you talk about Gorean collars they are 24/7 but I know D/s folk who are not 24/7 but just as committed and when the collar comes on after work or when with their Dom it is as solid is one worn in a 24/7 relationship. This is more often the case in LDR’s

I would be interested Brian, to know how much of your experience is with on line BDSM and how much is with off line BDSM

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BrianSenior)

Post #: 14

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 10:23:39 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

For me collars are either functional or ornamental. There is of course a strong degree of obvious symbolism in the collar, but I avoid using it as something synonymous with or attributable to a wedding ring or talisman.

(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 15

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 10:51:48 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

With Master i had no training collar, although i was in training. i had no collar of consideration, when i was under consideration (while in training - my neck would have become a bit heavy lol). When he took ownership of me, there was no collar. He owned me, but the bond between us was not solidified. When he did place a collar on me, some months later, it symbolized our depth and long term commitment on both our part. Some might equate this to a kind of marriage, although we are not nor will be married. But the sincerity and seriousness of what the collar symbolizes for us is parallel to that level of commitment. The collar has never been removed from my neck since he put it on me.

i also have a "working collar," which serves a different purpose. That is for things such as hooking leashes to, or grabbing and pulling, or having me wear to bed...or....

(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 16

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 11:05:13 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I use a training collar and an ownership collar.

Training collar signals that we are in a new relationship and we've set aside this time to explore BDSM and each other.

Ownership collars are a sign the relationship has been found desireable by both parties and that I would agree is akin to wedding vows (or committment vows since not all of us may get married in current society).

If I'm playing casually with someone (like at a play party) then a collar isn't important to me at all because its only for a particular activity or short scene.

For me, the collar is an emotional and relationships signal and casual play does not require it for me. If the other person wants to wear a collar, that's cool and more power to them to do so but it will not have value to me other than to say "scene starts/scene stops".

_____________________________

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(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 17

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 12:05:42 PM

BeeQueen

Posts: 73
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

many ppl need rules....thats y there is so many diffrent ways.....
personally i use *collard* as the idea of *ownership*......even tho i only use it in chatcontext in that way.
never used it in reallife to express my will to take someone under my wing.
for most subs i ever met rl, the item around their neck (or the ring on their finger) represents their wish to submit, and they wear whatever object proudly.

guess best is a way that both feel like a good way to express they r together in a special way
Bee

_____________________________

All men are animals, just some make better pets. (note the sarcasm) personal free 3d-chat under http://members.chello.at/beequeen/

(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 18

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 12:16:02 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella

G'morning all:

I've heard all kinds of references made to "training collars", "collars of consideration", "collars of protection", what have you. My own personal opinion is that a collar is equivalent to vanilla marriage. It should not be given or taken lightly. These other "levels" are something I've seen bandied about, here and in other circles. I'd like some input, views, ideas, definitions as to these "other" collars and when such circumstances are feasible, warranted, or desirable.

I wonder if I'm the only one having problems with quoting and posting today?

But for me I'm not a huge fan of collars. To me they are one of the many possible signs of ownership, but I think they are the sign of ownership that is most often romanticized (like the equating it to a wedding ring or "going steady") and also takes the least amount of thought to use. There's no legal aftermath of a collar and there is no irremovable mark. You just take it off.

To me, if you are going to collar someone, do it. Don't do it half-ass with a training protection bullshit collar. Just collar them. If you aren't ready to collar them, thats fine. I view collars or any sign of ownership as one that has to be earned over years, like at least three years. And I view collars as something that you don't and can't remove once its put on (barring some sort of freakish medical emergency obviously).

I think many times people feel that if there is no collar then there is no way to indicate that you are not currently in the meat market when in fact simply saying, "I'm not looking" I think is generally sufficient. And so thats how collars end up being used to signify "going steady." And thats why I think protection and training collars have become so popular.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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(in reply to GddssBella)

Post #: 19

RE: Collaring levels... - 3/20/2006 1:16:17 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

In wiitwd and outside of it, collars are simply fun to wear for some people, myself included (Yes I would Dom in a collar *gasp*). These would mean nothing as far as D/s is concerned and to assume differently would be a fallacy and may actually make the wearer a tad ticked off. Just a little FYI, if that sub/slave ends up being a Dom in disguise. It is never safe to assume anything.

_____________________________

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Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 20

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