quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Those are better than the Ghana mails I get.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Dear Mr aardvark avatar,
I have avatar envy because your avatar and slogan are better than mine!  I want to hate you and be jealous . . . but I am too busy laughing. 

Dear nut job husband,
No, I won't beat your wife or cage her, brand her, burn her, cut her, tie her up, whip her, choke her, stick needles in her and then fuck her in front of you because that's your fucking job . . . your wife is your property not mine!

Dear nut job wife,
No, I won't meet you in secret to fulfill your "burning desire to be slave and feel owned and abused like property" . . . I believe in and respect the concept of human property.  Currently you are "owned" by someone else.

Dear sweet young sexy big-breasted blonde masochist,
No, I won't hang you in full suspension only by your tits with meat hooks.  I let you present yourself nude in my office and squirt on my desk when I whispered in your ear because I didn't know you lied about being free.  I won't take you as my slave because after investigation I learned you are a sneaky dishonest manipulative bitch secretly looking for a new Master because your current one refuses to hang you by your tits with meat hooks or meet your other masochistic needs. 

Hey dude,
No, I won't cut your balls off to help transform you from a manly gorilla into the sweet feminine baby girl you imagine is trapped inside you.

Dear Dominatrix,
No, I really don't have secret desires to switch "like the other Doms" you know.  I don't care how bad your very attractive 20 something year old dominatrix ass thinks you can manipulate me with sex like you did your daddy . . . I'm just not that weak.  Which is why you were attracted to me in the first place.  Just embrace your repressed daddy desires and get them fulfilled.

Dear dying,
No, I won't skin you alive because you are dying of cancer, want to chose your own time and go out with flair.

Dear mommy
No, I won't make you and your daughter my slaves, get her pregnant, keep the baby and sell her off afterwards because your vane 40 year old ass doesn't want to risk stretch marks carrying a child for me.

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
et al...Sheesh. I thought I got crazy emails.

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ORIGINAL: sappatoti

... You have important things to express, things you want others to read. Yet, due to some twisted connection in the visual design center of your brain you believe that using a tiny, thin blue typeface against a stark black background will drive the point you're trying to make home. Really, all it does is make my eyes go squishy and blurry, and I end up leaving your space intending to never return.