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RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 7:11:20 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		All of the above, and at the end of the day, it can't be rushed, it really does just take time.

But time does in fact heal.

Good luck.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 7:14:57 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you. I will heal and move past this.

I want to thank everyone for the kind words and support. I laughed, I cried and I truly appreciate it all.

*hugs*

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 7:28:55 PM   
CookieSlave


Posts: 74
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline 		My ex-fiance disappeared - literally - over Xmas. Turns out, while I was planning the wedding with his mother and his sister was making my wedding dress and I was making plans to uproot my life and move from the east coast to the west after the wedding, he gained *another* fiancee who was a showgirl in Vegas. True story, you can't make this shit up.

My ex-boyfriend who I was with for 4 years - we first went out on Valentine's Day - sent me an email as well to break up with me - on Valentine's Day, 4 years later..

Ya know, shit happens. You'll deal with this however you do, whether it's easy or hard.. whether it's quick or it takes a while. It's good to see that you're finding your own way. I wish you well. *hugs*

--cs

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 7:31:35 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		oh my god, that's horrible!

Thank you though, I will find my way through this.

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to CookieSlave)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 7:38:28 PM   
SweetPoosy


Posts: 822
Joined: 3/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

All of the above, and at the end of the day, it can't be rushed, it really does just take time.

But time does in fact heal.

Good luck.


Yes Animus, you are correct, time heal all wounds. I have also discovered that Time Wounds All Heels too!

Elizabeth, you are absolutely lovely, and Dark Steven is right, the Doms will be panting after you in short order!

Cookie, that absolutely sux monkey balls, but thankfully you found out BEFORE you made the move...and now you can find someone worthy of you!

Hugs to all!

_____________________________

I've got 20 Fluffy Points, and you don't...Neener!

Don't piss me off, I've got a 600 foot mineshaft to hide the bodies!

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 8:03:08 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Elizabeth, you got great suggestions so just give yourself a lot of love and comfort for now. Do what you need for you and I am sure in no time you will be doing a lot better.

pssssttttttt ..reese peanut butter cup ice cream to die for. Me being older my music is/was/is Janis Ian.

blessings
wisdomtogive

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 9:32:09 PM   
brokenheart56


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: south carolina
Status: offline 		hi elizabeth!!! i am sorry for your loss...an let me ad you are very beautiful an one day you will find someone again. like you i have been hurt, i would like to offer my friendship an someone you can turn to as a friend. sometimes it is better to have someone at a distance who can be alittle more objective. i am sure you will get alot of these offers try a few. good luck

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 9:54:39 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

The best revenge is to live well so go out and live your life to it's fullest.

I've also made a list of all of his negative traits and all of the good things I've learned from someone. Generally the negatives far out-weigh the lessons learned but I hold on to those lessons so I don't have to learn them over again. (Dumped via email has got to be 100+ points to the negative in my book.)

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to brokenheart56)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dumped? - 1/7/2010 11:55:12 PM   
miotas


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/31/2009
Status: offline 		I know exactly how you feel.  4 months ago, my fiance of 3 years, the only person I ever submitted myself to and served happily, told me he didn't care about me anymore and kicked me out of our apartment after dumping me.  But he told me he still at least wanted to keep the sex [[which of course I gleefully denied him]].

It took a lot of me getting used to not having someone to please so readily.  I'm always a generous person, even to my friends, and began spoiling my friends even more than what was normal for me.  I started doing things that I realized my ex held me back from doing and now I'm just working for my own personal growth.  And have even made new friends who have given me more life experiences.  And without even trying, have met another person who allows me to serve, and actually treats me better than what my ex did.  We aren't in a relationship, but he's understanding of some basic human needs such as cuddling and kissing.

Take it at your own pace, and be a sub to yourself until you feel you're ready to give yourself to someone else.  I wish you the very best and I'm sorry about how he did it to you, that was a very rude move on his part.

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 12:05:57 AM   
MargueriteV


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/5/2009
Status: offline 		I was dumped via silent treatment recently. I was ready to stick it out with this woman, I didn't see it coming and my friends didn't either everyone is like 'We didn't think she as that kind of person!!!'
Yeah I'm hurt, and I'll probably cry at some point, but the bright side is that I'm no longer spending time on someone that breaks up like a five year old.

(in reply to miotas)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 8:27:10 AM   
aurora84


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/15/2009
Status: offline 		Get another Dom. 

If he dumped me, i'm free to look for a new date.

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 8:57:45 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I have been blessed by the Gods I think, my first love is still with me so I have never been dumped. However from others I have talked with I think the treatment should consist of allot of ice cream and sad movies and allot, allot of tissue papers.

I wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 9:10:40 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		To the op i am so sorry this happened.

As for me i don't get said i get angry. I go the karate and kick ot puch the stutfing out of kick sheilds or fccus mitts. True but if you are not into that exrecise is still a good way to get things out fresh air get the endorphine's flowing. That has always helped me.

Hugs

Matt's littleone

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 3:05:55 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks all :)

I am going out to the bar tomorrow night with friends (Metal/alternative bar) So I will be dancing out my rage and hurt :)

Not karate, but good enough for me :D

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 3:11:30 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		pop by the house, I feel like I could do a little dumpin' myself. know whadda mean?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Dumped? - 1/8/2010 5:58:46 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		elizabeth, its not only the subs that this happens to.

TheEngineer was with this....female....for nearly 8 years.  half of it living together, half of it married.  she decided she didnt wish to be married to him any longer and after a lot of stuff, walked out.  and never spoke to him again.  NEVER.  that's been over 10 years, she didnt show up for the divorce proceedings (sent her lawyer in her stead) and even when she's needed to ask him something, has her mother call him. 

her mother, BTW is also baffled by her daughter's behavior.  SHE is a lovely woman, and is happy i make her former SIL happy.  its just very inconcievable to me that one person can be so cold to another.

kitten, who wishes your heart heals well.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Dumped? - 1/13/2010 11:29:25 PM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		I think email would have been preferable to being dumped while naked in bed with bruises on your boobs and tears on his pillow. It's really fucking hard to make a graceful exit with your head held high when you have to get dressed first and have dried cum on your face.

Note to the D types- stop whispering sweet nothings about treasuring and cherishing and owning and all that emotional crap in ears if you can't handle it when your sub starts to believe the shit, k?

Back to the original question- I've found that mentally movng him from the "being which makes my soul complete" file to the "bastard who fucked with me" file helps a lot. And then go revisit all the info on negotiations and knowing who you're playing with before you play, so the next time everybody is on the same page.

(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Dumped? - 1/13/2010 11:57:47 PM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I move on.

I don't cry or get upset over it when people do not wish to be with me. I figure it's not worth the time or effort to bother.

Would you really wanna be with someone who doesn't want you? Especially when he only has the balls to do it through email?

Move on with your life and know that you deserve better.

Edit to add:

But also don't go all bitter and cold towards life and other men either. When you do that he's won. Be better than that. Continue to open up to others. Continue to live your life with heart.



If this is true, then you've never truly cared for/loved someone.
Even the toughest of the tough cry. Rejection is painful. Period. Saying that rejection does not make you cry or upset you is ludicrous, no matter how much you wish to save face and not show it outwardly. Very few people have seen me cry. Most people scoff at the idea  "YOU? CRY? Yeah RIGHT"  i don't cry in public. i don't cry in front of anyone. i do it privately, if and when it happens. i have shown my feelings more to people on these forums than to anyone in my whole life.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Goof
30 Fluffy points

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Dumped? - 1/14/2010 5:51:10 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Elizabeth , time to grow up, dear. Sorry you got dumped and your feelings hurt, too bad your "Dom" didn't have the balls to tell you to your face, but, after all, it was you who picked him, isn't it ?

Perhaps it is time for some introspection as to why you chose him. And your own judgement.

Play Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive " untill you stop your sobbing, get off of Facebook, pull a train, whatever, suck it up and get on with your life. Hopefully, learning from your experiences and becoming the wiser and happier for it.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dumped? - 1/14/2010 6:22:51 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elizabeth666

What do you do when your D type dumps you?

Even if it was through EMAIL!



I would try to remember why I had thought it was a good idea to be with him in the first place and remind myself of all the things I learned while being with him.

I don't much care how I am dumped, I prefer it to having them stick around and accuse me of making them stay, later.

Kim


_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 60
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