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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 10:58:22 PM

jujubeeMB

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So... everyone else has already said what I was going to say. Thanks, communal-brained women.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 11:02:57 PM

submaleinzona

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Ok. I'm gonna say it. Men who complain about women being pampered and spoiled or expecting to be pampered and spoiled are just jealous that they don't have a nunu and they can't do it too.

Grow up and get over it. There will always be men who are gentlemen and will take care of women. There will always be women who enjoy that. If you're not one of them, don't participate.

Well I, for one, don't have anything against pampering or spoiling a woman. But I don't know if the complaint is really over the money or the principle of the thing. With some, it's definitely the money but with others, it might be a pride thing. Some men might feel they're being taken for suckers, like they're being used. It's not a good feeling to have.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 11:03:10 PM

WyldHrt

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*sends telepathic affirmation to jujubee*
Long live the Hive!

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 11:07:13 PM

jujubeeMB

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Aw thanks Wyld

I feel all telepathically supported.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 11:08:00 PM

LookieNoNookie

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Personally, I've always wanted a woman who can take care of me in the style and opulence I've become accustomed to.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 11:24:59 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Personally, I've always wanted a woman who can take care of me in the style and opulence I've become accustomed to.

Hee hee!

Most of the women I've dated in my life made more money than I did. There's a big difference between "financial security" and "financial superiority." From what I've seen, women don't care if they make more than the men they're with, but some men have a real issue if they're not making at least $1 more per year than their girlfriend or wife.

The last few days of comments on this thread are interesting. Women are putting forward well-reasoned positions... and men are putting forward well reasoned positions that suddenly veer into something nasty. I'm not sure why that is, but I don't see unnecessary nastiness as a great way to pick up chicks. (Depends on the pool you're going for, I guess. I don't personally want to date anyone who thinks Scott Peterson is hot. Do you?)

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/26/2010 11:51:45 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MargueriteV

quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

And you dont think it is odd that at least once a month on here someone posts a thread about women and money? But then never see a thread about men demanding money in a relationship?

Yes it is odd, because there are men that do demand money on this site.

Actually I don't find it odd at all - from what I've seen, the vast majority of posts complaining about other users' actions or preferences have come from men.

I mean seriously, we get "20 year old women don't date doms their own age," "20 year old women don't date doms twice their age," "20 year old women are so arrogant and act like men are beating down their door to date them," "women who don't reply to unsolicited messages are rude and they should invest their time and energy into replying to a man they want nothing to do with," "women ask for money too much," "women top from the bottom by stating their preferences," "women suck for having standards that I don't meet," "women won't date me cuz I'm married," "all the women here are fake," "women are bitches for telling other people they had a bad experience with me," and lord knows what else.

It really makes me want to start a thread called "men complain too much" but then I'll be blasted for my hypocrisy.

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 1/26/2010 11:53:44 PM >

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/27/2010 12:29:51 PM

pyroaquatic

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From: Pyroaquatica
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I do not mind if the Lady makes more money than me... or the other way around. In any instance we can acquire all of the gold in the world and accumulate all of the material wealth we can. Once we perish, what then? All that effort and it is dispersed back into the masses.

Possession-supposedly 9/10ths of the law-is a grand illusion. Silly. Very silly. We say 'possession' and what we really want is 'safety'.

I am not sure that the issue with men is financial security. I believe it is a personal insecurity. and if she really is a gold digger then take away her shovel.

what I really care about is if we are both self-sustaining. Happy, fed, watered, and sheltered. Prosperity should not be measured by the bank statement.

That can turn fairly quick.

I laugh because suddenly POOF you have money and POOF you can get things... and we are instantly satisfied.... or at least we think we will be once we attain this mountain of wealth. I've seen it over and over again: Think like this and you become buried under the detrimental mass.

Call me backwards, but I am content with what I have.

oh by the way, I have a job now doing something I am quite skilled with (speaking, reading, and articulation-telemarketing) and I do not have to physically interact with people. Go 'playing to your strengths'.

Am I making sense here or am I being some sort of asshole. I can't ever tell since people rarely respond to what I have to say.

Anyways... I am going to destroy something now.

Thanks.

_____________________________

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As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/27/2010 12:34:41 PM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

snip<Call me backwards, but I am content with what I have.>snip

snip<Am I making sense here or am I being some sort of asshole. I can't ever tell since people rarely respond to what I have to say.>snip

You're making complete sense...trust me on this one.

btw....congrats on the job...yeah strengths!

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/27/2010 1:47:07 PM

ResidentSadist

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<--- Master of discipline. 15 pages later and still holding my tongue.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/27/2010 5:23:38 PM

InvisibleBlack

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
*sends telepathic affirmation to jujubee*
Long live the Hive!

Man, my little uni-brain is just outgunned. It's a good thing men spend all their time only thinking about sex - renders that telepathy thing less of an advantage when you've always only got one thing on your mind.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Aw thanks Wyld I feel all telepathically supported.

It's a conspiracy, I tell you!

Wait ... I thought this thread was on being financially supported.

I guess telepathically supported helps.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
Personally, I've always wanted a woman who can take care of me in the style and opulence I've become accustomed to.

Remind me to add "rich and co-dependent" to my search criteria.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I mean seriously, we get "20 year old women don't date doms their own age," "20 year old women don't date doms twice their age," "20 year old women are so arrogant and act like men are beating down their door to date them," "women who don't reply to unsolicited messages are rude and they should invest their time and energy into replying to a man they want nothing to do with," "women ask for money too much," "women top from the bottom by stating their preferences," "women suck for having standards that I don't meet," "women won't date me cuz I'm married," "all the women here are fake," "women are bitches for telling other people they had a bad experience with me," and lord knows what else.

It really makes me want to start a thread called "men complain too much" but then I'll be blasted for my hypocrisy.

I think a lot of those complaints really all kind of boil down to "woman won't pay any attention to me" or, at an even more basic level "women won't sleep with me". I have noticed that a lot of men on dating sites have this odd sense of entitlement that they don't seem to feel or apply when out in the real world. I mean, if I walk into a room or a club or a bar or whatever, I don't automatically assume I can score with every woman there - but somehow click on a search function on a dating site and it's voila - female smorgasbord! And then they get mad when it doesn't work out like their hopeful fantasy.

Actually - y'know - it's probably because they suspect that the female telepathy doesn't work over the internet! The odds are much better when she can't read your mind!

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/27/2010 9:31:31 PM

Elisabella

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quote:

I think a lot of those complaints really all kind of boil down to "woman won't pay any attention to me" or, at an even more basic level "women won't sleep with me". I have noticed that a lot of men on dating sites have this odd sense of entitlement that they don't seem to feel or apply when out in the real world. I mean, if I walk into a room or a club or a bar or whatever, I don't automatically assume I can score with every woman there - but somehow click on a search function on a dating site and it's voila - female smorgasbord! And then they get mad when it doesn't work out like their hopeful fantasy.

OMG yes! I've always just said 'sour grapes' but I love the female smorgasbord analogy. Just show up and pick the one you like and not only do you automatically get a chance with her, but if she's the one who rejects him, she's obviously flawed. Too high standards, stuck up bitch.

It's awesome to see a guy who gets this :)

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/27/2010 9:50:46 PM

jujubeeMB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I mean seriously, we get "20 year old women don't date doms their own age," "20 year old women don't date doms twice their age," "20 year old women are so arrogant and act like men are beating down their door to date them," "women who don't reply to unsolicited messages are rude and they should invest their time and energy into replying to a man they want nothing to do with," "women ask for money too much," "women top from the bottom by stating their preferences," "women suck for having standards that I don't meet," "women won't date me cuz I'm married," "all the women here are fake," "women are bitches for telling other people they had a bad experience with me," and lord knows what else.

It really makes me want to start a thread called "men complain too much" but then I'll be blasted for my hypocrisy.

I think a lot of those complaints really all kind of boil down to "woman won't pay any attention to me" or, at an even more basic level "women won't sleep with me". I have noticed that a lot of men on dating sites have this odd sense of entitlement that they don't seem to feel or apply when out in the real world. I mean, if I walk into a room or a club or a bar or whatever, I don't automatically assume I can score with every woman there - but somehow click on a search function on a dating site and it's voila - female smorgasbord! And then they get mad when it doesn't work out like their hopeful fantasy.

Actually - y'know - it's probably because they suspect that the female telepathy doesn't work over the internet! The odds are much better when she can't read your mind!

You know, you're very smart for someone outside of the hive mind :) Dead on with the sense of entitlement bit - I actually got a few emails this week from guys being like "look, bitch, you haven't answered my email yet, and it's really pissing me off." Right, now I totally want to sleep with you, dude. You called me a bitch and showed me you have an anger problem before I ever even said a word to you. The thing that amazes me is the lack of care that goes into approaching women on this site (at least from what I've experienced so far, having joined this month). I actually answer almost every email that isn't a form letter, is spelled correctly, doesn't call me a name, and is longer than two sentences, whether I'm interested in the person or not. I realize that the men on this site are sick of emailing women and getting no response, but that doesn't mean you get to put zero effort into your approach. It's like going up to a woman at a bar (after getting rejected by fifty others) and being like "hi, will you please just suck my dick?" while sighing in a really annoyed manner and looking at a woman across the bar. I bet you a thousand dollars that she's not going home with you.

Actually, though, I should really be thanking those guys, because if everyone on this site was writing the fantastic, funny, sweet emails that a handful have been writing (like InvisibleBlack), I would never have time to do anything but answer emails

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/28/2010 4:09:20 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

<--- Master of discipline. 15 pages later and still holding my tongue.

Come on, RS, let it out....

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 1/28/2010 2:12:17 PM

InvisibleBlack

Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
OMG yes! I've always just said 'sour grapes' but I love the female smorgasbord analogy. Just show up and pick the one you like and not only do you automatically get a chance with her, but if she's the one who rejects him, she's obviously flawed. Too high standards, stuck up bitch.

It's awesome to see a guy who gets this :)

Obviously anyone who won't respond to my brilliant e-mails must be defective in multiple ways! I mean, I include triple-redundant witticisms so any single female flaw would be accounted for - it must be some combination of fatal mental and character defects!

I don't know what's behind the weird mindset of online dating site entitlement. I have a kind of half-baked theory that, in real life dating, there's a sort of equality of knowledge. All you know when you walk up to someone is what they look like and that's all they know about you - so you're operating on an equal understanding basis. If you get shut down it's typically before you make any sort of connection so it's not personal, the same way it would be if someone knew you well and blew you off. Whereas after reading someone's thoughtful profile, you feel like you have some sort of connection even though they've never even interacted with you. The level of understanding is uneven - you feel like you understand them somewhat, they have absolutely no knowledge of you. So if they don't respond to your e-mail, it feels like rejection to you while to them it's no big deal since they don't even know who you are besides some guy who wrote them an e-mail.

Of course, it could just be some combination of insecurity and selfishness. I wouldn't rule that out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

You know, you're very smart for someone outside of the hive mind :)

Without a collective uber-consciousness to draw on, my only defense is thinking quickly. Well, and maybe charm. That sometimes works.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Dead on with the sense of entitlement bit - I actually got a few emails this week from guys being like "look, bitch, you haven't answered my email yet, and it's really pissing me off." Right, now I totally want to sleep with you, dude. You called me a bitch and showed me you have an anger problem before I ever even said a word to you. The thing that amazes me is the lack of care that goes into approaching women on this site (at least from what I've experienced so far, having joined this month).

Don't rule out the concept that for a lot of guys a poorly worded one-line e-mail from someone vaguely semi-attractive might be all it takes to get an excited response. To make a sweeping generalization ... women tend to want more communication or interaction before moving into the sexual realm. Guys mostly aren't that picky. It might not take a very high quality message to land a fair percentage of guys on this or any dating site. It might not take much work at all. Maybe they're sitting there now, poised over their keyboards, desperately hitting the refresh button, waiting... waiting...

Also ... a lot of people, both men and women, have an overrated opinion of their own attractiveness (both mentally and physically), which does tend to result in a "what's wrong with you that's you're not into me!?" mindset.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
I actually answer almost every email that isn't a form letter, is spelled correctly, doesn't call me a name, and is longer than two sentences, whether I'm interested in the person or not.

Hell, even I don't do that! You, m'dear, are a noble soul.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
I realize that the men on this site are sick of emailing women and getting no response, but that doesn't mean you get to put zero effort into your approach.

I think everyone wants to feel recognized and valued - as opposed to being just an interchangeable digital image. Then again, given my previous statement - the zero-effort approach might well work on a lot of guys.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
It's like going up to a woman at a bar (after getting rejected by fifty others) and being like "hi, will you please just suck my dick?" while sighing in a really annoyed manner and looking at a woman across the bar.

You mean that won't work!? Is that a design or an implementation problem!? If I said it all confidently and cheerfully and remained focused, surely it couldn't fail!

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Actually, though, I should really be thanking those guys, because if everyone on this site was writing the fantastic, funny, sweet emails that a handful have been writing (like InvisibleBlack), I would never have time to do anything but answer emails

Awwww. You made me smile. Thanks!

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 2/12/2010 9:36:50 AM

specialk2611

Posts: 36
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Women in general look for - style, resources, confidence, looks.

Not going to change anytime soon. And men won't be any less interested in boobs this time next century.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 2/13/2010 5:52:24 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
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Huh, that's funny, I tend to be attracted to people myself, but hey - YKINMK.

Good luck.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 2/13/2010 6:06:52 AM

Aynne88

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I'll be your live in, provide a clean house and blowjobs, if I can invest all of my income. That's a SWEET deal.

I appreciate the compliment, but I think you're wrong -- not just about me, but about anybody. There's an old saying: "If you marry for money, you earn it."

There's another old saying Red. "It's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one."

.Of course, love in the mix helps, but after my long marriage, with it's financial ups and downs being small business owners, I made a conscious decision to only date someone very successful. I emphasive the *very* part. Luckily we fell madly in love.

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 2/13/2010 10:18:11 AM

jj292

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Here is an interesting read about how marriage is no longer a good deal for women. And it says finding a "financially secure" partner will become more and more difficult in the future...

After forty years of preferential treatment in schools and the job market, many women are now better-educated and make more money than men. These changes should surprise no one — especially not social science researchers. Those who work with the data know that there has been a profound shift in marriage itself and that marriage rates are declining. Many women are finding it difficult if not impossible to find a husband who is their financial, career, or social equal. With the decline in manufacturing jobs and their lack of higher education, many men don’t have the money or job prospects to marry. Yet much is being made of a new study by the Pew Research Center finding that the benefits of marriage are now greater for men than women.

Fry and Cohn used census data from 1970 and 2007 to compare U.S.-born married couples ages 30 to 44. They found that this cohort of Americans is the first in U.S. history to have more women than men with college degrees — college grads in 1970 were 64 percent men, 36 percent women; in 2007, 53.5 percent were women and 46.5 percent men. During the period of 1970 to 2007, women’s earnings grew 44 percent, while men’s only grew 6 percent (though men, on average, still make more money, women’s income gains are sharper and the disparity has narrowed). In 1970, only 4 percent of husbands were married to women earning more than they; in 2007, 22 percent were in that situation.

excerpt... rest of article at:
http://conservativedatingsite.com/blog/2010/02/marriage-is-a-better-deal-for-men-than-women/

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RE: "Financially Secure" - 2/13/2010 3:56:21 PM

Elisabella

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I see the same facts you do but I don't draw the same conclusion.

Unless of course the only reason to get married is to increase the household income. The other reasons for getting married - affection, mutual support, having someone to grow old with, being able to rely on someone, etc. are still there.

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