RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:33:22 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I don't know OSF, I guess I'm answering from your whatever category but the best results I've had were when I wrote and said,

"Hi, you sound interesting. Would you like to meet for a cup of coffee and talk?"
"Hi, I see you are new to the area and looking to make friends. Would you like to come over and have a cup of coffee and chat?"

I know this doesn't sit well with your desire for a shut up, be seen and not heard, not looking for romance, type of relationship dyamic - but, hope it helps anyway.

WinD

but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:35:01 AM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you.

But that doesn't seem to be what people are saying. Obviously, if two people think they get along communication will follow. But those e-mails happen after there is an implied mutual interest already in place.

This topic seems to be addressing how to get to the point of that mutual interest (with more seeming to lean towards special flattery).

You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment.

If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there.

I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to.

Great point Red. If someone is writing one line statements and not asking me questions, there is really no where to go but......yawn.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:35:37 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

Ok this is a little more personal to Osf, once I wrote you a message regarding something I said to you on the boards, I won't go into the details but really all it needed as a reply was 'ok' instead I got 'read my journal' which to be honest made no sense, I have no clue why I would want to read your journal.

Generally if I get a mail from someone and I like it then i will look at their profile, normally a scan read, I dont generally read journals often far too full of complaining. I dont need to be told to read a journal.

Also with a journal as big as yours Osf how can anyone know what bit you actually want them to read? The surreal entries that mean nothing? The opinion you have of women that makes me want to get my feminist soapbox out?

I can see what NZ is saying, people read as a matter of course which kinda means you don't need to ask them too, and generally how much the read/how often is indicative of how into you they are.

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 1/28/2010 11:38:32 AM >

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:36:58 AM

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment.

If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there.

I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to.

So, we want a specific (intellectual) type of flattery, then? Not saying that isn't the case and that everyone doesn't function on that level to some degree, but...again, we're just asking them to come up with a good pick-up line to earn the right to even be looked at, their actual substance be damned.

Perhaps this is just a variation of the infamous 'first impression' thing. Meh.

I think that this is one of the hazards and annoyances of online dating. The written word cannot possibly bring about the instant chemistry that you have when passing someone in the produce aisle of Whole Foods. (yeah, that happened and the dude was married, damn it).

So I think that to try and figure out the correct alignment of letters and words is a bit futile since the online venue needs to develop chemistry rather than expect it instantly, ala face to face.

Just for me, I check every single profile whenever anyone writes me, regardless of content, even if they just say hi.

If I like the content, photo or anything about the profile, I will write back.

I think a big issue here is not so much what people write to elicit a reply, but more that people are not patient about writing, or they rely only on photos and say no too quickly or make some other snap judgement that interferes with the getting to know you process.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:37:11 AM

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Thats not what I gleened from the O.P. It sounded to me like they asked questions and his response is,"go read my journal".

That would be kind of annoying, then, yes. I mean, if I'd devoted a lot of time and thought to thoroughly describing my view on a topic, I probably would point them towards wherever it was located but I'd likely offer up a short version first just for the purposes of the conversation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

But reading someone's journal pontificating on what is submission is NOT a sharing of who they are.

Everything someone writes is a reflection of who they are. It may not be a reflection of the things you're curious about, but...

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:38:02 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

i believe this , because they say what they expect in a letter

which i believe is counter productive

i never tell a new woman what to say and many ask what i want them to tell me and my answer is you're telling me, if i knew you wouldn't have to tell me, because i want to hear their words not the words they think i want to hear

it's the same way with email contact, let the other person choose their own words not words you say you want to see

What does a "letter" mean? Some letters are short, some are quite lengthy...

You say "they"... I find it hard to believe that numerous people tell you they expected you to write a letter to them. Perhaps other women are substantially different than I am, who knows. If someone wrote me and I wasn't interested I certainly wouldn't bother writing them and telling them how they should have communicated with me.

To be honest, some men can say in a couple of lines what others couldn't say in pages. Sometimes a person's charisma jumps off the page, and others either leave you cold, or worse, give you the eeby jeebies... I would say there would be no way to predict why some men click with women and some men don't. I am sure the same goes for women, some are appealing in their emails and profiles, and some are just not.

Perhaps it goes entirely against the dominant grain to have to conform to meet expectations of women that you are emailing because they "should be" more slaverly or something, but just because you label something doesn't mean it changes the dynamic... men hunt women. The men that use the right bait get the women... not saying that it never works any different than that, but that is how it works from a common sense view of the world....so if you want to attract bees, you put out some honey...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to osf)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:38:04 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Ok this is a little more personal to Osf, once I wrote you a message regarding something I said to you on the boards, I won't go into the details but really all it needed as a reply was 'ok' instead I got 'read my journal' which to be honest made no sense, I have no clue why I would want to read your journal.

Generally if I get a mail from someone and I like it then i will look at their profile, normally a scan read, I dont generally read journals often far too full of complaining. I dont need to be told to read a journal.

Also with a journal as big as yours Osf how can anyone know what bit you actually want them to read? The surreal entries that mean nothing? The opinion you have o women that makes me want to get my feminist soapbox out?

I can see what NZ is saying, people read as a matter of course which kinda means you don't need to ask them too, and generally how much the read/how often is indicative of how into you they are.

you made a comment about what i was saying so i told you to read my journal for clarification

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:39:27 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
you made a comment about what i was saying so i told you to read my journal for clarification

No I didn't.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to osf)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:40:53 AM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive

Well yea, cause women are more complicated then men. Most men dont seem to realize that women think differently than men.

Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 1/28/2010 11:46:02 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to osf)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:41:28 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
you made a comment about what i was saying so i told you to read my journal for clarification

No I didn't.

sorry i accidentally quoted the wrong post

< Message edited by osf -- 1/28/2010 11:42:05 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:42:58 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

If you are after a relationship shouldn't you appeal to your own mind and hope that the other persons mind is attracted to the same thing?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:43:42 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive

Well yea, cause women are more complicated then men. Most men dont seem torealize that women think differently than men.

Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

This really goes to the heart of it. It is as if calling something D/s or M/s will completely change the way the entire mating game works... it doesn't from what I have seen. Certainly the relationships themselves are somewhat different, but what women want in being courted doesn't change all that much because of a label...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:44:15 AM

Posts: 62
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

for the other Dominants and whatever

how do you feel when you open a female profile and they insist you write them a literary masterpiece?

i mean i put everything in my profile and journal so i write a few lines of wit and suggest they see my profile

is that so terrible or must i submit to their demands?

Oh no. Some people want to have an actual conversation. How dare they ask that I show I'm capable of more than ranting in an attempt to prove that I'm someone they'd like to spend time with.

How /dare/ they want to learn about me through something a bit more personal than a broad-spectrum journal.

Wow. It's almost like people like knowing you care enough to be specific for them. Just imagine how annoying it would be, as a Dom, if every time you asked a sub a question she responded with a broad, general answer, not directed at you.

lrn2english.

kthnxbye.

(in reply to osf)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:47:38 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You get requests for informative letters because your profile doesn't tell anything about you.

It goes on and on about sexual/s&m stuff but not in sufficient detail for a person to know if you're compatible kinkwise.

You start off by saying you're never going to be seen with her in a vanilla setting and end it saying the opposite. But you make it clear that you wouldn't bother coming to the hospital if her mother was dying. And that she should think twice about expecting you to visit her if she's the one that's sick. Since all you seem to want is a booty call.

And that whole bit about wanting her to hate you but expecting her to stay there while hating your guts is just plain weird.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to osf)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:47:52 AM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

If you are after a relationship shouldn't you appeal to your own mind and hope that the other persons mind is attracted to the same thing?

Ah no. inless you think you can find a clone and what fun would that be?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:49:12 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive

Well yea, cause women are more complicated then men. Most men dont seem torealize that women think differently than men.

Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

This really goes to the heart of it. It is as if calling something D/s or M/s will completely change the way the entire mating game works... it doesn't from what I have seen. Certainly the relationships themselves are somewhat different, but what women want in being courted doesn't change all that much because of a label...

not sure what you mean but my meaning is that some men quite a lot actually are willing to respond just because its a woman where as women ore more discriminating for the most part

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:49:23 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Ah no. inless you think you can find a clone and what fun would that be?

No I wouldn't want a clone, but someone who wants to talk about/is interested in similar things, who thinks a similar way that I do, who is on the same wavelength. I wouldn't change the way I communicated, what I wanted to talk about simply because I thought someone was hot, I would talk about things that we had in common. But thats just me, of course this is initial contact, in relationships I put up with shit that they are interested in that I am not

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 1/28/2010 11:50:41 AM >

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:50:27 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I don't know OSF, I guess I'm answering from your whatever category but the best results I've had were when I wrote and said,

"Hi, you sound interesting. Would you like to meet for a cup of coffee and talk?"
"Hi, I see you are new to the area and looking to make friends. Would you like to come over and have a cup of coffee and chat?"

I know this doesn't sit well with your desire for a shut up, be seen and not heard, not looking for romance, type of relationship dyamic - but, hope it helps anyway.

WinD

but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive

You are probably right, not having a dick and not being a dick, I can't realy speak from that persuasion.

I can tell you that if someone captures my attention and I show some interest in someone and ask a few questions about them - if I get a "read my journal" response from them, I'm going to translate that into a response saying they are not interested in communicating with me.

Honestly, OSF, at this point you'd be better served in deleting your journal and stating in your profile:

"I'm a cantankerous hard ass motherfucker who is looking for a piece of ass to beat. I expect a slave to be seen and not heard. My slave will not expect romance, walks on the beach or tenderness. She will be a fucktoy for my amusement, and caged whenever she isn't being made use of. Interested individuals may reply to me, as I don't have time or incentive to be bothered with courting you."

The sad thing is, I'm not even being sarcastic or snarky here.

WinD

(in reply to osf)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:50:28 AM

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

If you are after a relationship shouldn't you appeal to your own mind and hope that the other persons mind is attracted to the same thing?

I am not sure what you mean. I think that as juliaoceania said before, when seeking a relationship, you need to be Interested. Why? Because if someone is interested in you, they will seek out info about you or you will volunteer it and do the same back.

You cannot just hope the other person "gets" you as you get yourself, you need to consciously make an effort to be "gotten". Does that make sense?

When Lushy said appeal to our mind instead of yours, she means women (and men) like someone who seems particularly enthralled with THEM not just anyone with a pulse who fits the right chromosome.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal - 1/28/2010 11:52:55 AM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Ah no. inless you think you can find a clone and what fun would that be?

No I wouldn't want a clone, but someone who wants to talk about/is interested in similar things, who thinks a similar way that I do, who is on the same wavelength. I wouldn't change the way I communicated, what I wanted to talk about simply because I thought someone was hot, I would talk about things that we had in common. But thats just me

Thats the point. You have to talk. This is a man appealing to the feminine mind.
OSF doesnt think he should have to talk to women.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.140