RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good dominant?

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 7:24:59 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

and this isn’t a put down , but from my observations the dynamics in a mistress/slave relationship are different than a master/slave one.

quote:

And as a male I can tell you thinking is hard work.

Yep I think you've pretty much summed up the difference. Finished blowing up that doll yet?

***Snorts and chokes on ice tea*** Too funny... I gotta know though, is it better to choke on martinis or ice tea? May I try one of your reknown martinis so I can find out, smiles?????

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 7:29:15 PM

Takethiswaltz

Posts: 199
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LOL MH. I'll have one of those martinis. Make mine dirty if you please.

Seriously though, submission is easier in my eyes because many parts of my personality is just submissive in the right circumstances. I only have to draw on what I already know. However, I'm not saying that submitting is easy, just that it would be quite problematic for me if I tried to dom. And I would expect the vice versa to be true.
So, really, trying to figure out who has to work harder is a moot point.

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Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 7:29:19 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

hey! i'm a wimp i cant stand the pain

****RAISES HAND WILDY**** I realize this comment stopped me in my tracks to respond so may in fact have already been addressed....but......you're saying that all submissives receive pain from their dominants and all dominants inflict pain, therefore, if you are a submissive you should expect to feel pain, and lots of it?

(in reply to cillydom)

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Post #: 63

RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 7:35:54 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

cillydom,

Please put down the crack pipe and step away form the computer

K

**chuckles and snorts some more*** I swear I have got to get a spatter screen for my monitors, lol.......

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 7:40:42 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

hey! i'm a wimp i cant stand the pain

****RAISES HAND WILDY**** I realize this comment stopped me in my tracks to respond so may in fact have already been addressed....but......you're saying that all submissives receive pain from their dominants and all dominants inflict pain, therefore, if you are a submissive you should expect to feel pain, and lots of it?

Actually, what he really said is "submissives" have more fun". Never mind the fact that a LOT of submissives hate pain, but only endure pain for their Dom/mes. And then I asked "how does that fit into your description of 'subs have more fun'?

No answer yet....none.

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 8:19:44 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
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wow, such an interesting notion...this girl has NEVER felt pain at the hands of a Master. i am not a pain slut, i hate pain. does this make me any less a slave, hell no. it just means i'm not a masochist...
i think if i had to feel pain, i wouldn't be a slave or a sub....
i guess i missed the original quote the first time around.
one can have a Master and be a great slave without pain being any part of the dynamic

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

hey! i'm a wimp i cant stand the pain

****RAISES HAND WILDY**** I realize this comment stopped me in my tracks to respond so may in fact have already been addressed....but......you're saying that all submissives receive pain from their dominants and all dominants inflict pain, therefore, if you are a submissive you should expect to feel pain, and lots of it?

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 9:42:59 PM

BitaTruble

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From: Texas
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quote:

wow, such an interesting notion...this girl has NEVER felt pain at the hands of a Master. i am not a pain slut, i hate pain. does this make me any less a slave, hell no. it just means i'm not a masochist...
i think if i had to feel pain, i wouldn't be a slave or a sub....
i guess i missed the original quote the first time around.
one can have a Master and be a great slave without pain being any part of the dynamic

It's a common enough misconception that because one is a slave that one is also a masochist or that because one is a Master, one must be a sadist. Usually, those ideas come from the relatively new or the relatively uninformed. People who isolate themselves from education often miss the reality of what M/s is and equate it to S/m. You can be a masochistic Master or a sadistic slave and be perfectly at ease.

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 10:23:05 PM

cillydom

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can any one say "jest"
you guys are way too serious, lighten up
life is fun

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/25/2006 10:31:02 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
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From: Southeastern Michigan
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

can any one say "jest"
you guys are way too serious, lighten up
life is fun

I might say "yes" to that if you didn't make a habit of "jesting". I can laff a lot about a lot of things, but from reading your posts, you don't just "laugh" at inside jokes...you make a production of them and insult a lot of us in doing so.

That's the way you want to live? Fine with me. I won't argue with you. But. I will say, you have closed yourself to a lot of people.

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 12:33:08 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom
No where did I say it was all one sided
and I’m very much based in reality
an I’ve only had 2 d/s affairs

2 D/s affairs? you didn't say you where ambidextrous... Right hand and left hand!

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 12:38:35 AM

VikingHouse

Posts: 57
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From: Las Vegas
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HEXZACTLY! But then again, and have we considered the import of semantics yet? Woe is Me, woe is Me.
Seeking another opinion on the board is a great way to start some conversation, but, I prefer the crack of a signal tail. Which reminds Me, if anyone is seeking an extremely well plaited stockwhip or signal tail, I'd recommend, Janine Fraser of Fraser whip dot.com
The lady is scene friendly and will braid to suit. I LUVS Mine and so do the girls (now). lol
Segues into variants that are appliciable to his question are more interesting to Me than the rehashing old arguements or debates. Teaching another is a great vocation, but, I'd really rather session an attractive slave girl while presenting her "limits" to her with multiple cracks against delicate flesh. heheheheee
M. Gentry

(in reply to Wolfspet)

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 4:59:25 AM

LadyMorgynn

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From: N. Carolina
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You've put your finger on yet another of this guy's gaffe's. Master's have the most responsibility; subs the most fun; he can't be a sub because he can't take the pain (i.e. all subs experience pain). What a singularly narrow view of this Lifestyle is being portrayed!

I am a Mistress, but not a sadist. The only pain My slave will experience, is the pain of knowing he has displeased or disappointed Me. I should hope that would be more motivation for him to try harder than a dozen strokes with a Cat!

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

hey! i'm a wimp i cant stand the pain

****RAISES HAND WILDY**** I realize this comment stopped me in my tracks to respond so may in fact have already been addressed....but......you're saying that all submissives receive pain from their dominants and all dominants inflict pain, therefore, if you are a submissive you should expect to feel pain, and lots of it?

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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 10:13:17 AM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
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From the point of view of a woman who struggled to fit into that little "sub/slave" box for far too long, I can tell you. Being submissive is mfing difficult. If you aren't built to serve (and even if you are!), it's difficult to just follow along blindly, without stopping to ask why. It's difficult to always be the one on the bottom, to always being the one to serve but not necessarily be served in return.

Since you, I assume, have only been dominant, you cannot know what being submissive is like. I, as a former submissive, have experienced it. I have not, however, been a dominant (in a 24/7 timeframe), so I don't know what that would be like.

Suffice to say, they're both extremely hard and can be very rewarding to the right people.

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 10:32:18 AM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

You've put your finger on yet another of this guy's gaffe's. Master's have the most responsibility; subs the most fun; he can't be a sub because he can't take the pain (i.e. all subs experience pain). What a singularly narrow view of this Lifestyle is being portrayed!

I am a Mistress, but not a sadist. The only pain My slave will experience, is the pain of knowing he has displeased or disappointed Me. I should hope that would be more motivation for him to try harder than a dozen strokes with a Cat!

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

hey! i'm a wimp i cant stand the pain

****RAISES HAND WILDY**** I realize this comment stopped me in my tracks to respond so may in fact have already been addressed....but......you're saying that all submissives receive pain from their dominants and all dominants inflict pain, therefore, if you are a submissive you should expect to feel pain, and lots of it?

Well said, and exactly the direction I was pointing.....

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 12:54:18 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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IMO..cillydim has a tendency to only think inside the box rather than whats around the box...You just need to widen your perceptions a wee bit more....be well....tempting

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 1:23:19 PM

MHOO314

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Perhaps someone can loan him " BDSM For Dummies".

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Mistress Hathor

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 2:27:48 PM

Ariel

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LMAO.... omg now I need one too.... WHEWWWW...... to funny

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Ariel

Aw inspiring beauty comes from within

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 4:17:05 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Perhaps someone can loan him " BDSM For Dummies".

No , No, that books on the banned list. Would you want a dummy standing over you with a whip?

K

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 7:10:05 PM

TNstepsout

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This is because of the kind of submission you are looking for. If I recall you desired someone who you would give up all wants, needs desires and her entire being would be focused on you and fulfilling your needs. You are ALL she has in her life, which is exactly what you wanted. Thus the feeling you have of constantly needing to amuse or supply her with activities. I imagine that would be a lot of work. The thing is, it may be more WORK for the Dom in that dynamic, but the emotional and psychological vulnerability for the sub would be much greater.

Apples and oranges and that's why I don't think the type of dynamic you seek is realistic or likely to be long lasting. Eventually both parties will feel like they are giving/doing more and there will be resentment.

Maybe you should rethink your theory.

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RE: is it easier to be a good submissive or a good domi... - 3/26/2006 9:08:30 PM

ivorylace

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

Out of curiosity, which is it easier to be a good submissive or a good dominant?
I vote it’s easier to be submissive.

How does this sound????

If the people involved are right for each other it should actually be easy. I think we make it harder than it really is. Being submissive is what I am, thus I look for a Man that can accept that submission and master it. After that........all is simple, just be who you are.

~lace

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