Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Acid Test for True Dominants


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Acid Test for True Dominants Page: <<   < prev  5 6 7 [8] 9   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/3/2010 8:16:33 AM   
VideoAdminAlpha


Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminAlpha

Awww, you ARE luscious babe, and if you weren't on the same side of the kneel(and I'm afraid I'd turn ya for all time and have all the sub wenches lookin for me) I prolly would fuck you...but gotta ask

What's the real reason? I wanna know!!!!!! 

Dearest VAA,
I have long suffered the pangs and arrows of dominance. It first afflicted my in my teens and I have never been cured of it since. However, I truly believe that if ever there was someone that could “turn” me, it would be you with your smooth Alabama charm and 99 years experience.

But alas, I fear I shall go to my grave never knowing the sweet pleasures of submission or your touch. As far as the term “Mod Squad” for the moderators, it’s just hype for the book cover.

Best Wishes,
Kalon Eric


Dearest RS:

I understand the dominance affliction, believe me, and would never try to convert anyone, and must admit you definitely use very nice smooth language and are very gentleman like, which is consistent with most of the bikers I have the privilege of knowing real life(well most of the time, lol).

Although your words imply courtesy, one can't help but notice you offered play as equals to LA but not myself...is it my avatar pray tell? Or my age? Or the fact I am quite large and short at the same time?I can take the truth, well, maybe I can't. With your smooth words, one would almost take you for a Southern gentleman of olden days......I feel an attack of the vapors coming on me!!!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/3/2010 8:18:09 AM   
VideoAdminAlpha


Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminAlpha

Awww, you ARE luscious babe, and if you weren't on the same side of the kneel(and I'm afraid I'd turn ya for all time and have all the sub wenches lookin for me) I prolly would fuck you...but gotta ask

What's the real reason? I wanna know!!!!!! 

Dearest VAA,
I have long suffered the pangs and arrows of dominance. It first afflicted my in my teens and I have never been cured of it since. However, I truly believe that if ever there was someone that could “turn” me, it would be you with your smooth Alabama charm and 99 years experience.

But alas, I fear I shall go to my grave never knowing the sweet pleasures of submission or your touch. As far as the term “Mod Squad” for the moderators, it’s just hype for the book cover.

Best Wishes,
Kalon Eric

Don't get your panties too wet VAA (if you are actually wearing any that is!) as he says such things to all the Dommes ;-)

- LA


You looked!! Otherwise how would you know I didn't...never mind!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/3/2010 8:25:19 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminAlpha
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminAlpha
Awww, you ARE luscious babe, and if you weren't on the same side of the kneel(and I'm afraid I'd turn ya for all time and have all the sub wenches lookin for me) I prolly would fuck you...but gotta ask

What's the real reason? I wanna know!!!!!!

Dearest VAA,
I have long suffered the pangs and arrows of dominance. It first afflicted my in my teens and I have never been cured of it since. However, I truly believe that if ever there was someone that could “turn” me, it would be you with your smooth Alabama charm and 99 years experience.

But alas, I fear I shall go to my grave never knowing the sweet pleasures of submission or your touch. As far as the term “Mod Squad” for the moderators, it’s just hype for the book cover.

Best Wishes,
Kalon Eric

Dearest RS:

I understand the dominance affliction, believe me, and would never try to convert anyone, and must admit you definitely use very nice smooth language and are very gentleman like, which is consistent with most of the bikers I have the privilege of knowing real life(well most of the time, lol).

Although your words imply courtesy, one can't help but notice you offered play as equals to LA but not myself...is it my avatar pray tell? Or my age? Or the fact I am quite large and short at the same time?I can take the truth, well, maybe I can't. With your smooth words, one would almost take you for a Southern gentleman of olden days......I feel an attack of the vapors coming on me!!!


Dearest VAA,
Your powers of observation have impressed me deeply as does our continued verbal intercourse. Indeed, I was born south of the Mason Dixon line and oft yearn for a more simple life when men were judged by their deeds, survived by their whit and won a lady’s favor with their charm. And yes, my grit and simple honesty has always blended well with the codes and morals of my leather clad scooter-riding friends here in Daytona Beach.

Truth be told, your smooth earthy mannerisms, flirtations, pervatude and kinkosity hold an appeal that far out weights your 850lb girth, 99yo age, and petite 4ft+ stature. It is my own affliction of dominance and control that made the mysteries of your avatar a roadblock to offering an encounter as equals. What if you were European and didn’t shave your legs . . . or sported pubic and armpit hair? I confess that I do not have the training or experience to know how to make love, or bring pleasure to woman who’s erotic treasures are hidden in a jungle of hair. I would be lost as to how to lick a hairy thigh much less find my way to your passionate passage to pull back your hooded clit and suck your little pleasure dome into my mouth. From LA’s avatar and profile pics, I could see that she shaves.

Could two powerful dominants leave their leather arsenals at home allowing a devout chauvinist with the charm of a southern gentleman to capture the fancy of a powerful and iconic older woman such as yourself? Will onlookers secretly be uttering safe words under their breath as the energy of our encounter electrifies the room? Only the wildest imaginations can foretell such things.

With passion and respect,
Kalon Eric

[edit - type-O]

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 2/3/2010 8:35:28 PM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 9:33:29 AM   
VideoAdminAlpha


Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		**Puts on best southern drawl, and grabs a fan"**

Why suh, I do believe you will make this Lady swoon, as unaccustomed as she is to such silver tongued reparte from a gentleman

**leans back fanning herself rapidy**

as to what Holly on the Girls Next dooar called a fur pie....which was popular when some of us southern ladies was a becoming women...some of us dont take no ken to that foolishness of hair suh....one would imagine that the gent who had a problem with it hopefully reciprocated and made all their planes smooth also...


With muchos grandes respect too-
Alpha

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 4:02:31 PM   
Asher9624


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline 		I just wanted to bring a note of positivity to this. I realize this is in no way a substitute for common sense or my own valuable instincts. But, as a very inexperienced and new sub I thought it was helpful. Just as a nice outline and some tips to keep in mind, I liked it. I guess maybe if I had been doing this a while I would have thought it offensively obvious. I will read it again in ten years. lol.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 4:11:48 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asher9624

I just wanted to bring a note of positivity to this. I realize this is in no way a substitute for common sense or my own valuable instincts. But, as a very inexperienced and new sub I thought it was helpful. Just as a nice outline and some tips to keep in mind, I liked it. I guess maybe if I had been doing this a while I would have thought it offensively obvious. I will read it again in ten years. lol.


It's not necessarily that it's obvious-it's that it's biased towards a certain type of dynamic. It makes all sorts of generalisations about what Doms are and how they should behave, eg that no 'True Dom' can be highly driven in their chosen field, or that anyone who insists on being called Sir from the start is automatically a wannabe (or a Wom, as they get called in my head...)

It makes some good points, for example that you should be wary of anyone who can't provide any references (not to say that they are automatically fake)-but there is an awful lot of 'information' in there that sounds like it came out of the wrong end of a horse.

Some parts of it are obvious, some parts of it are (over)simplified, and some parts of it just don't ring true, as far as I can see. As an outline it seems misleading at its best (and possibly nonsense, at its worst). 


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Asher9624)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 8:09:12 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		As time permits, I'm going to attempt to comment upon various specifics of the Acid Test.

Test #11: Ask for references! Especially if he claims to be "very experienced." Talk to the references on the phone. Lots of HNGs have female screen-names set up to act as "references" for them! I notice that a lot of newbies seem to have trouble with this concept. Which is understandable since in the vanilla world it's considered rude to talk to a guy's ex-girlfriend. However, in the BDSM scene it's the opposite; experienced Dominants should accept and accommodate this kind of request gladly.

I wrote in a previous post, that BDSM dating is not much different compared to Vanilla dating. In fact, for many people their Wife/Husband/Boyfriend/Girlfriend is their BDSM partner. Then there are those who have "Play Partners". There are people involved in deeply committed D/s relationships along with having "Play Partners".

TEST #11 is clearly focused upon those who engage in BDSM with play partners (multiple past or current), and makes it a point to stress that things are very different compared to the Vanilla World. Again, for many people their Wife/Husband/Boyfriend/Girldfriend is/was their BDSM partner. Yes, it should be understandable why it would not be good (rude) to talk to a guys ex-girlfriend or wife. I'm sorry, but no self respecting Dominant guy in his right mind is going to cough up and provide his EX's contact information to a complete stranger. Hell, would you like to share with a prospective Dominant partner the contact information and references of your EX's?

As the TEST itself points out, people will set up fake screen names to act as "References" for them. Plus references are a bit like those on job applications. You know that whoever they give you as a reference will having nothing but "Great" things to say about them anyways.

Now think of "BDSM Play Partners" being like "Vanilla Friends", interesting concept eh? Would you share a list of your close friends right away with a complete stranger? Personally, I would not share this information right away with some new prospective submissive girl. Why? Because she might turn out to be a bat shit crazy stalker type. This should be rather common sense.

Think about this for a moment, how does this work in the so called Vanilla World? You get to talking with somebody, the more you talk, the more you figure out. Generally most people don't have a problem talking about their past relationships and experiences. People will tend to share things about their friendships with other people. Two people sitting and talking, each introducing the other person to their own lives and world. You take things at a reasonble mutual pace. They get to know you and you get to know them. You'll get to know things about their friends and they get to know things about your friends. (whatever mutual level of disclosure that's comfortable). Sooner or later you end up getting introduced to their friends and they to yours. Really ain't that damn difficult. Just use some common sense regardless of what your orientation is.

(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 10:18:26 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Test #10: "I'm 33 years old, and I've been a Master for 15 years." Gimme a break! What are the odds? When you ask about a Dom's level of experience (and it's a good idea to do so) remember to do the math as well. 18-year-old boys don't care about the intricacies of BDSM; they want to get laid. Trust me on this one Ladies, I was an 18-year-old boy once! I personally believe that people do become what they are (be it gay, straight, Dom or sub) very early in life, but it takes maturity and training to be a Master. What are the odds a person became a Master when they were still using Clearasil?

Test #10 is a bit of a no-brainer however, it is also a bit misleading or rather leading the reader in a certain direction of thought. Often trying to Quantify one's experience in anything can become a rather daunting task. People often try to come up with bullet point summary's of themselves on profile, or when they first start engaging another in conversation.

A Common question that people are asked, is how long have you been doing this or involved in doing XYZ, This applies to Vanilla activities and specializations. It's used for a quick guage as to get an idea of general experience.

As I expressed Acid test #10 is somewhat leading. Compare these two statements


  • "I'm 33 years old, and I've been a Master for 15 years."
  • "I'm 33 years old, and I've been into BDSM for 15 years."


Two very similar yet different statements. The first one is title based (not orientation based) the second one is based upon what the letters of BDSM represent. This is supposed to be an ACID test for Dominants instead of MASTERS. A sort of similar yet different concept. The author is sort of mix and matching terms.

Notice that the author selected an example with a certain degree of Bias in mind. Then refers to the mysterious statistical math that was wrote about earlier in the article. Beware, when people toss out numbers and ratio's without referencing any SOURCES to back up the MATH. Where do the numbers come from? Yet, they are attempting to reinforce Test #10 with mysterious Mathimatical bullshit. I say bullshit because there is no reference to any study or research stats collected by anybody that was referenced.

The author goes on to state "18-year-old boys don't care about the intricacies of BDSM; they want to get laid.", this is a false generalized stereotyped statement. I can only imagine what any 18 guy with a sincere interest in BDSM would feel and think after reading this. The promotion of this type of thinking is discouraging for younger male Dominants.

Compare these two statements...


  • "18-year-old boys don't care about the intricacies of BDSM"
  • "18-year-old boys care about the intricacies of BDSM"


Now compare these two statements...


  • "Some 18-year-old boys don't care about the intricacies of BDSM"
  • "Some 18-year-old boys care about the intricacies of BDSM"


It's pretty clear which statements are TRUE and those that are FALSE. Then again, this is rooted in something called Logic. I'm doing this to make it painfully clear the amount of Bias that is being presented in the article.

Not all Dominants into BDSM desire to become a "Master" nor care to. Yet the author is focused/fixated upon Masters in TEST #10 and fails to address this in a manner that Encompasses ALL DOMINANTS in general, with varying degrees of experience and experiences.


  • "What are the odds a person became a Master when they were still using Clearasil?"
  • "What are the odds a person was a Dominant when they were still using Clearasil?"


It's my intention to help make people stop for a moment and think about things.

Again, a Common question that people are asked, is how long have you been doing this or involved in doing XYZ. It's simply a mere bullet point. By no means does this Indicate what Activities they are experienced in, nor the quality of their experience. Some people have been doing for a long time and still suck at it. Some people are really good at what they are doing within a short period of time. Looking at X number of years experience and that alone can be deceptive. Some people try to decieve other people with made up Math and numbers too. :-) Which is what author was really trying to stress.

Back to common sense, Instead of jumping to any conclusions right away. Simply engage the other person in conversation for more details about their experience. People that lie, sooner or later inconsistencies start to arise. If something seems to be inconsist, confront them about it. Just because somebody is a Dominant does not mean you are not permitted to ask questions. Personally, I would not TRUST anybody who avoids answering questions or talking about things. Even more so when it's very relative to establishing a relationship or engaging in a BDSM activity. Use some common sense.

In regards to experiences, some people have been doing some twisted things since their childhood onward into teenage years, and discovered "the lifestyle" after the fact. Some people discover bondage and other things before even hitting Adulthood. Please keep that in the back of your mind.

Are there Wankers, Fakes and Dishonest people out there. You betcha! Remember it's not only 18 year guys that simply want to get laid. There are also some very serious minded 18 year olds too.

If somebody claims they have X number years of experience and they refuse to go into details about it, or they can't keep their story straight, or if it just sounds like way way too much bullshit, then something is wrong.





(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 11:49:51 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		STEP 3 - Know your Goal.

Contains 4 paragraphs that are focused upon "Sexual Submissives", which basically translates into Bedroom only submission. It does not promote D/s outside of the context of sex or play.
So much for the female submissives looking for a 50's household style way of life...

Also the term "Sexual Dominant" is tossed around with "Sexual Submissive" in this section. It's obvious that the author was making some form of clarification regarding a specific type of submissive and Dominant. This is pretty sad, considering this is supposed to be ACID TESTS for TRUE DOMS.

There is a bias towards only "sexual Doms" as being "True Doms", and suggests that only "Sexual Submissives" are "True Submissives" as well. With a lot of assumptions being passed off as facts regarding the personal qualities and traits of both.




(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/4/2010 11:56:35 PM   
LeBlueDude


Posts: 22
Joined: 2/4/2010
Status: offline 		... Care to explain Whiplashsmile? I'm sorta confused now...

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 12:04:26 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeBlueDude
... Care to explain Whiplashsmile? I'm sorta confused now...


No problem. :-) Just let me know what specifically and I'll do my best.

(in reply to LeBlueDude)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 12:08:35 AM   
LeBlueDude


Posts: 22
Joined: 2/4/2010
Status: offline 		What the types of dominants and submissives? I'm a raw beginner I'm afraid, I don't know the jargon.

And if what I want most out of the relationship is someone that I can trust absolutely, and am willing to be subserviant to because I trust them, which type am I?

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 12:17:48 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

(in reply to LeBlueDude)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 12:25:06 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeBlueDude

What the types of dominants and submissives? I'm a raw beginner I'm afraid, I don't know the jargon.

And if what I want most out of the relationship is someone that I can trust absolutely, and am willing to be subserviant to because I trust them, which type am I?


The labels, buzzwords, and terms can become a little confusing. From reading your profile and what you just shared. Your submission is not limited to just sex/play. Rather it's focused as a working relationship dynamic.

Some submissives are very sexually oriented, some are very service oriented, some are very S&M oriented, some are very relationship oriented. The more focused or narrow the type of submission is, is why there are sub-labels for the type of submissive.

I would just run with "submissive" and only type cast yourself if needed later.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/5/2010 12:36:18 AM >

(in reply to LeBlueDude)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 12:26:13 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood




Oh.. that looks yummy. Is it nice and buttered with salt?

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 12:40:22 AM   
LeBlueDude


Posts: 22
Joined: 2/4/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

The labels, buzzwords, and terms can become a little confusing. From reading your profile and what you just shared. Your submission is not limited to just sex/play. Rather it's focused as a working relationship dynamic.

Some submissives are very sexually oriented, some are very service oriented, some are very S&M oriented, some are very relationship oriented. The more focused or narrow the type of submission is, is why there are sub-labels for the type of submissive.

I would just run with "submissive" and only type cast yourself if needed later.


I see. Thank you for helping out. *Starts pondering more questions to ask, then realises it's 3AM*

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 1:10:17 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Here's a somewhat useful article to read, while it's not fully comprehensive, it does provoke thought and encourage exploration.

Exploring Relationship Options in BDSM

1. Knowing what your options are.
2. Figuring out what you do and don't want.
3. Incorperating this into your own Personalized ACID test. (Priceless)


(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 1:53:52 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Keeping it Real.

One aspects of a good ACID test, in my opinion, is to find out how Rooted in Reality or Fantasy you and the person you are dealing with is. There was a thread recently about Confinement, with a number of posts expressing the reality of it.

I've been searching the web some tonight for some reasonable articles, which should be of some value. I picked this one because it's rooted in common sense.

The Reality of Living 24/7

Knowing if the person you are interacting with is grounded in Reality or Fantasy, will help you figure out if they are full of Bullshit or not. Also, gives you an idea as to their level of D/s relationship experience compared to Play Experience.

The Article that is referenced in the OP of this thread is Geared towards Scene experience, and expresses nothing about ACID testing D/s relationship experience or realistic relationship expectations.




(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/5/2010 6:38:40 AM   
LeBlueDude


Posts: 22
Joined: 2/4/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Keeping it Real.

One aspects of a good ACID test, in my opinion, is to find out how Rooted in Reality or Fantasy you and the person you are dealing with is.
Knowing if the person you are interacting with is grounded in Reality or Fantasy, will help you figure out if they are full of Bullshit or not. Also, gives you an idea as to their level of D/s relationship experience compared to Play Experience.


Thank you very much, this seem quite helpful. Yeah, I don't want a fantasy monger, and honestly that's one of the things I was most worried about accidentally finding. Someone who wouldn't take my needs seriously and wouldn't understand that, while sex is part of a relationship, sex is NOT a relationship in and of it's self.

The other thing I'm most worried about accidentally finding is someone who wants all of the benefits of control without any of the responsibilities.

These articles seem to address both, so thanks once again

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Acid Test for True Dominants - 2/6/2010 9:40:14 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: everythingzen

This may have already been posted, but I think it is a very valuable read for submissives looking for a dominant partner: http://askdollie.com/acid_test.htm

I think it is worthless drivel.


_____________________________

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

(in reply to everythingzen)
Profile   Post #: 160
Page:   <<   < prev  5 6 7 [8] 9   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Acid Test for True Dominants Page: <<   < prev  5 6 7 [8] 9   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109