RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (Full Version)

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ForeverOwned -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:04:46 PM)

Let's see. A submissive (this is a submissive board) brings home a Dominant  and the Dominant orders the submissive to get rid of the animals and that has nothing at all to do with D/s?  Just checking.




myotherself -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:10:29 PM)

I'd get rid of the dominant and keep the pets.





AquaticSub -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:16:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

Let's see. A submissive (this is a submissive board) brings home a Dominant  and the Dominant orders the submissive to get rid of the animals and that has nothing at all to do with D/s?  Just checking.


Your OP said "special to you" not "you moved in a dom". Someone special could be a new best friend who needs a roommate.


And, for that matter, the OP doesn't address why the subject wasn't brought up before. It's a hypothotical that makes no sense. If someone actually had this situation going on in their lives, I'd say it's pretty much their own fault for not bringing it up.

This is exactly why I've been gently trying to encourage you to think more about what you are posting.




Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:17:00 PM)

It really doesn't. I am a dominant. I love pets. The two are not inter-related.

A submissive would be better served by finding a dominant who also likes pets. If the dominant knowingly enters a relationship with a submissive who has pets, he/she should make it known ahead of time that they do not like pets rather than just 'order' the pets be gone.

This is a matter of compatibility, not a matter of D/s.

It would be a matter of D/s if the relationship existed in real life and the pets were ordered gone for other matters. For instance, the submissive paid more attention to the pets than to their dominant partner. The dominant then ordered the pets gone so the submissive could focus more on the dominant partner.




ForeverOwned -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:27:46 PM)

Wouldn't it be better for you to think a little less and have fun with it, rather than disecting every word. As you can see these boards are moving very slowly these days with less and less new topics. This is  one of the reasons why.




AquaticSub -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:37:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

Wouldn't it be better for you to think a little less and have fun with it, rather than disecting every word. As you can see these boards are moving very slowly these days with less and less new topics. This is  one of the reasons why.


I come from a strange world where we don't regard unclear posts that seem to come off the top of a person's head with little thought and that require me to assume the OP means this or that fun.

If you are looking to post things solely for fun, why not head over to polls and random stupidity? I do not agree with your assessment that things move slowly on this board. I see discussions that are worth having move very quickly. However, your OP is extremely unclear, doesn't relate to BDSM and is one of your twenty a day. Saturating the boards with three sentance threads that aren't coherant are not going to get things moving more. If you want to generate more discussion, I'm all for that.

But let's actually discuss something.




ForeverOwned -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:42:24 PM)

Many people posted on this thread and had no problems at all with it. It just always seems to be the same few who want to pick apart and analize every word. It's ridiculous. Now if everyone who posted felt that way then it would have some creedence, but as it stands now the majority of posters had no problem with it.  You can;t, please everyone. :)




AquaticSub -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/8/2010 11:47:35 PM)

No you can't. Which is why I'm not worried about pleasing you.

I'm not picking apart anything. Your post does not contain the word "dominant", "owner" or anything along those lines. That does not require me to dissect or nitpick to state. You said "someone special".

You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone here but there doesn't seem to be any discussion going on. Just "Nah, I never would". That's really stimulating...




sirsholly -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 12:04:21 AM)

Why would I allow a dominant that level of control before. I knew him as an animal hater? Why would I submit to him in that manner if he has never been to my house before?




Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 12:05:04 AM)

Okay, so her initial post wasn't very D/s oriented...lol. I agree. But let's change that a bit.

Let's go with the scenario I briefly posed and expand that a bit. Suppose you have been in a reasonably healthy relationship with a dominant partner for several years and you have pets in your home. Let's say the pets are healthy for the sake of discussion. Now, let's say that something in life threw a curveball (you suddenly became temporarily depressed or your dominant was suddenly working more hours, nothing that really detracts from your presumably healthy dynamic). Now let's add that you as a submissive started spending far more time with your pets, cuddling them, playing with them, and ignoring your relationship with your dominant partner - forgetting whatever protocols were in place. Your dominant now orders you to find another home for your pets because you are focusing more on them instead of discussing your problems with your dominant and are ignoring important facets of your dynamic. How would you handle this situation?

Edited for clarity.




stella41b -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 12:06:38 AM)

This wouldn't be an issue for me, for if I were already an owner of a pet or animal and I was getting to know someone I would have already considered this issue even before considering forming a relationship with them. You see when forming a relationship with a person or animal I indulge in an activity which is commonly known as thinking.




jen182 -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 12:09:59 AM)

honestly i feel that if someone cant like me for me, the way i am (animals included) then they dont truly like me for me, i dont see it very reasonable for someone to tell me to get rid of something that was around before they were (has dog 11years old no one could order or pay me to get rid of)




jujubeeMB -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 1:17:55 AM)

Please do not EVER give up your pets for any reason other than severe allergies or extreme life altering situations. I don't think there's anything worse than giving up an animal because you "moved" or because someone doesn't like them. They're a member of your family, not a lamp. You make a commitment when you adopt. I've been fostering cats for a few years now, and it breaks my heart the reasons people give up pets... just don't do it.




RCdc -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 1:38:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Please do not EVER give up your pets for any reason other than severe allergies or extreme life altering situations. I don't think there's anything worse than giving up an animal because you "moved" or because someone doesn't like them. They're a member of your family, not a lamp. You make a commitment when you adopt. I've been fostering cats for a few years now, and it breaks my heart the reasons people give up pets... just don't do it.


How about, if the animal doesn't like the person?  Is that a good enough reason?

the.dark.




CarrieO -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 1:39:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

What if you met someone and they became very special to you...Come to find out when you bring him/her home that he/she hates animals and you have both a cat and a dog. Would you give them away if you were told to?



I don't see this ever happening because I let it be known very early on that I have pets and love animals.  I have friends that may not be fond of indoor pets but are able to respect the fact that I have them and the love I feel for them.

Also, I find it next to impossible that I would ever allow anyone in my life that would demand or "tell" me to give away my furry kids.  This comes down to compatability...plain and simple.




WyldHrt -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 1:51:40 AM)

quote:

Okay, so her initial post wasn't very D/s oriented...lol. I agree.

Agreed as well, it's the kind of thing that should come up before you allow someone to become "special", no matter the nature of the relationship.
quote:

Let's go with the scenario I briefly posed and expand that a bit. Suppose you have been in a reasonably healthy relationship with a dominant partner for several years and you have pets in your home. Let's say the pets are healthy for the sake of discussion. Now, let's say that something in life threw a curveball (you suddenly became temporarily depressed or your dominant was suddenly working more hours, nothing that really detracts from your presumably healthy dynamic). Now let's add that you as a submissive started spending far more time with your pets, cuddling them, playing with them, and ignoring your relationship with your dominant partner - forgetting whatever protocols were in place. Your dominant now orders you to find another home for your pets because you are focusing more on them instead of discussing your problems with your dominant and are ignoring important facets of your dynamic. How would you handle this situation?

This wouldn't go over well. If I'm focusing more on the pets than the relationship, for whatever reason, it is a huge red flashing sign that something is wrong with the relationship and that things need to be talked about. Being ordered to get rid of the pets would be attempting to treat the symptom rather than the cause, and would only make things worse. Honestly, someone who would order me to do such would likely be kicking himself to the curb.

When I take responsibility for an animal, that means forever. In certain extreme cases (such as a mother who is allergic and needs to come live with me or such), I would consider rehoming a pet, but you can bet I would make sure that said pet went to a damned good home, and was with me or a trusted friend until that happened. To me, pets are NOT disposable.





AquaticSub -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 1:53:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

Okay, so her initial post wasn't very D/s oriented...lol. I agree. But let's change that a bit.

Let's go with the scenario I briefly posed and expand that a bit. Suppose you have been in a reasonably healthy relationship with a dominant partner for several years and you have pets in your home. Let's say the pets are healthy for the sake of discussion. Now, let's say that something in life threw a curveball (you suddenly became temporarily depressed or your dominant was suddenly working more hours, nothing that really detracts from your presumably healthy dynamic). Now let's add that you as a submissive started spending far more time with your pets, cuddling them, playing with them, and ignoring your relationship with your dominant partner - forgetting whatever protocols were in place. Your dominant now orders you to find another home for your pets because you are focusing more on them instead of discussing your problems with your dominant and are ignoring important facets of your dynamic. How would you handle this situation?

Edited for clarity.


Personally, I don't think I would obey and give up the pets. That's like treating the headaches and not the brain tumur. The problem that caused me to ignore the rules will still be there. I'll simply express it in a different way.

Now, if he wanted me to give them up because I was depressed and not caring for them properly... that would be an entirely different kettle of fish but perhaps not exactly d/s related either as I would expect a friend to step in if I were not caring for my animals too.




soul2share -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 1:57:42 AM)

Nope.....I'm a package deal...love me, love my cats.  The guy would go first.  Plain and simple. 
[image]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/catbed.gif[/image]




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 2:09:35 AM)

Foreverowned,are you considering volunteering at an animal shelter?

To answer your question, I simply can't fathom a reality where I'd find anyone special who hated animals.  I'm a lap snuggler, and figure anyone who can put up with me, has to have a fondness for pets.

WinD




Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: What if you met someone and they became very special to you (2/9/2010 2:15:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt


When I take responsibility for an animal, that means forever. In certain extreme cases (such as a mother who is allergic and needs to come live with me or such), I would consider rehoming a pet, but you can bet I would make sure that said pet went to a damned good home, and was with me or a trusted friend until that happened. To me, pets are NOT disposable.




I do not think pets are disposable either. However, I do think human relationships have more value than relationships with one's pet (provided of course it is a good human relationship). I would hope to never find myself in such a position to choose a human vs a pet but I can foresee some instances where I would give up the pet. Many more where I would give up the human.

PS. Wyld? When are you coming over for cookies and typing? [:D] My fingers hate my keyboard, and vice versa.




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