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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Serious Lost & Depressed Partner - Could a M/S Relationship Help?? (2/11/2010 6:05:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
Wow...I'm amazed at how quickly a lot of people have recommended therapy and medication.
I could see if she had a history of depression, but that doesn't seem the case here.
That would seem like the last choice to me.
I would give her a tremendous amount of love and support. Be proactive in helping her find the positives in her life.
Go on walks, change your diets together, help her reestablish her artistic career.
Remind her of how beautiful she is to you. Be a positive influence over her life.
Aileen, thank you.
I've been a little troubled by this as well. I would say counseling at the most right now, in regards to things. Unless it's so grave that she needs medication to hold her together. (visit to family doctor first). We all are faced with times of trouble and darkness. Just because somebody is in a stage of Depression does not mean it's serve enough to warrent the inmediate in take of drugs (anti-depressents).
I waned to make clarification of what I meant by profesional help, again which is counseling at the most. However, here's the deal with counseling. You walk into the office and you start to talk about shit. Times up. One hour passes so quickly. A week later, you walk into the office and do a lot of talking (times up). Frack?? WTF? Where's the Game Plan here? (does not happen quickly).
Generally speaking, the counseling will lead to one making self assetments and pointing out the obvious lifestyle or life changes we need to get Unstuck out of a rut. In short, they will help you focus upon the issues, and the things you can do to make changes.
Based on the OP stating she has no History of Depression. Ummmm... I'm not thinking she need to run off for the Medications. Then again, if it's so Bad at the moment. The Pills can be a sort of BandAid patch to hold her together. While the other issues are addressed.
Personally, M/s or not to M/s? Pfffft... There are different Dominant styles. Some styles just are lost and fracking clueless. Other styles, are problem addressing, fixing, tackling oriented.
Let me introduce the concept of a DOM getting UNDER THE HOOD (caps to accent the key word concept, not for yelling). Anyways, getting under the hood, really is on par with what a therapist does anyways. It's focused upon that popular age old classic thing people talk about time and time again here. COMMUNICATION.
The mental mind probing process is pretty simple. Ask a question, get an answer. Ask the person leading questions. (ones that provoke thought). Many times, people are the ones that hold the Keys to their own problems. Yet many people pay $100.00 to experience this process in counseling.
Self Help Books often do and can be effective. The thing I am going to STRESS, is try anything and everything you can think of to Address and deal with the issue. Regardless of how many Counseling Sessions somebody goes to. It's up to the Client to take action. I'm supportive of Counseling, but there also need to other WORK and GAMES plan set in motion. Things that tackle the ROOT of the Evil Depressive states. Again Self help books, can make one stop and think about things. To make personal accessments, along with excerises in coming up with Game Plans. If one book does not help. Screw it, move into another book. Going into a Book store, you can pick the books off the shelves. Skim read and check it out. Find ones that seem to address the problems. One's wrtten in a style that Connect with you.
The writting style of the Authors makes a difference. Some are extremly difficult to read, or ones that you simply can not connect with. At times, some books are prone to religious tones and such. If you're an athesist a book with a Christian/God tone in the writting, well just ain't going to help you.
If things are extremly bad, where one feels that Tranquilers or anti-depressents may help to hold things together. Go for it. You generally can see your regular family physician first. Talk to your Doctor first. I express this, because they often deal with this stuff. They know if they need to refer you somebody else.
At times when somebody's life is a mess, a help in hand does and can work. In my thoughts much can be said for the STYLE and Focus a Dominant has. Handle with care. Handle the situation with care and thoughtfulness. Education yourselves. Both the Dom and sub alike... strike that... BOTH PEOPLE.. in the relationship (regardless of what kind it is), need to address this issue.
Simply pushing your partner into the DOORS of Professional help, and expecting them alone to deal with and fix them, does not fully work. Couples Counseling maybe very effective here as well. You need to become tuned in and play an active role in your partners life, in this process.
Hope this post is some food for thought.
-Be Well
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