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heartcream -> RE: Need a profile. (2/11/2010 6:05:38 PM)
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*raising a glass in spirit form and sticking my spirit fingers up all yer noses as you talk in meatspace about this funny lil thread.
domi, what about a water-marked profile picture with lots of links to your writings and your website? Could you pen a book about your soujourn of kink?
Could you relocate?
Could you be from Latvia? Lithuania? Germany?
Or how about a styled picture (Aileen haz teh lulz camera skillz <3) with all yo yitchees all dolled up in corsets and ting. Have them in sundry and various cages, shibari, suspenisons, one as your adoring foot stool all drop dead gorge and you could be like on the phone talkin bidness in an expensive suit with nary a smile bout your face, maybe dropping ashes into one yeech mouth?
I think a good panoramic spread photo of all your toys You know walls and walls and of cork board/peg board with black magic marker outlines to be super organized.
Do you have wood panelling and a Barcalounger?
Any pictures of you with a giant red fish and faux Oakly iridescent lens? A place in the country? A horse? A boat for sure. A velcro shoe? Pants with front pleats?
In the interests side make yourself an EXPERT at everything, you know Massage (EXPERT)-Receiving
Maybe have some purple tied up breasts with lacerations?
I think it is always good to have one of those disclaimers like "Do not contact me if you eat cauliflower." Or, "If you contact me, please use the password, 'Wheelbarrow', so I know you read my profile in its entirety."
It is best to not post in the forums, adds mystique.
Have a sense of humor like, "I like to fly, boy are my arms tired." Girls relax reading that sort of thing.
Raging boner pictures are good as the main pic.
This is after the profile is made but maybe send out a zilion form letters that are two pages long of talk about people being sick perhaps a business idea and lots and lots and lots of email addresses.
Or simply "wanna chat? have cam ready to use it"
In the journal part you could write a story that could be dated about 6 years ago. Do it up in mad colors with lots of emoticoms bouncing around. The story could be a ditty, very long and dont spell right and stuff all about how she showed up in the hotel room naked in the bed and how you havent met yet and how wet she is waiting to meet her dark stranger for the first time. Maybe how you would like to drug her and video tape it for her and she could have a copy for 70$ but dont give her all the footage so you can spread the payments out. You could send her an email and ask her if your story turned her on?
Your main profile could be an upper case rant about fakes or maybe call out a profile name and claim they are fake. Talk about how you are giving up and leaving CM because it is so fake.
Or talk mostly to the men about how you arent homo and please dont contact you less youse born a woman.
Otherwise you could go on the boards and start a zillion threads about how a girl could kneel at your feet and slobber you up and why isnt she better at it, or how come there is no one there what did you do wrong, what is wrong with these impolite c-words?
I think a man in underwear speedo style out by the pool holding a colorful drink in a giant glass with your arm around someone but all you see is the tendrils of their hair where the photo was cut in half is a good lure.
Pictures taken with a gang of people and everyone has their arms around each other and dont give an indication of which one is you but you arent the best looking.
Have most of your pictures be images from the photo stock, the kind with dogs saying cute things, or anteaters, let's say.
Have all your pictures cut off at the forehead if you are hair challenged or have a super duper slick cool one with you in a hat, and another in a hat, and oh boy, one more in a hat and more cut off at the forehead shots.
I know, I know, the help is ridiculous. Like a celebrity gettin all gritty in Africa to help the less fortunate. Oh I know I am forgetting something but this will have to do for now. All the others have chimed in with so much good feedback you will find the gashery full in no time.
Make a reality show of your struggles to get the complex domi into a few short paragraphs and maybe a few of your dates going well, going awry, good tv, bloke!
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