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"Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 12:31:23 AM

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Yes...I know that there are many more submissive males than there are dommes. I know that dommes are frequently professional, or if non-pro, still like some sort of tribute as indicative of some level of commitment on the part of the sub-male. I understand the rationale that a domme's ownership of a male can be expected to extend to ownership of his wallet too. I get all that.

But...just out of curiousity...has it ever been considered that a domme "buying" (i.e. making the sub male financially dependent upon her) a male-sub could likewise be considered to be a form of "ownership"? A male prostitute so to speak, only on an obviously grander scale (lifestyle as opposed to the one-time pop).

I understand that the concern would be that advertising for such a boi would draw a multitude of applications from subs just wanting a free ride. However, it would also seem to me that there might be some logic to the notion that a financially-dependent sub might be all the more motivated to please his owner since his livelihood would be on the line.

For the record, I am highly educated, well-employed, and don't NEED anybody to financially support me; indeed, I am quite capable of being the sole breadwinner in any relationship. That being said, I have to admit that the objectification and emotional (yes, emotional) dependency that would ensue by my being a "kept" man is powerfully appealing to me.

I also recognize that pulling such a relationship off would require a domme of considerable wealth when it is difficult-enough (given the statistics) for a sub male to be claimed by any decent domme at all. On the other hand, we always hear about how men are intimidated by strong successful career-women and want nothing to do with them. I for one would only have greater respect for a financially-accomplished domme...whether she shared any of her wealth beyond basic food/shelter with me or not. I have nothing against pro-dommes---I just know that for myself and myself only, I have a harder time feeling "owned" when the domme immediately or urgently requests my money.

Thoughts? (cringes for the inevitable lambasting by the malcontents)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 12:35:43 AM

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I don't see why not. The same sort of individuals seem to by buying a lot of Dommes.

(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 1:11:10 AM

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Akasha can chime in for herself.. its well known her partner gave up career/earning to submit full time in their relationship ...

I am someone who has and would consider a submissive who did not earn or earned significantly less than I .... if he was not working outside the relationship at all ... he would need to be doing things I considered worthwhile and what taht was would change at different times ....

I work contract work and enjoy taking significantly long holidays ... say 3 to 4 mths at a time every year or so... so controling if, how and when a submissive worked is something I would enjoy above and beyond the D/s elements and service levels ..

I earn enough money to keep a boy ... although my prefernce is someone in a similar position to me ... who can take limited length contracts not all the time but when I desire them to . ... Legally I can have his contractual wages paid into my company and determine how much if any is paid to him at the time.. so in effect he would earn only what I desired him to earn within some minimum wage limits

In australia medical coverage and retirement superanuation is a simpler/ cheaper concept to set up than in many other countries ... and the benifits of haveing the right submissives energies and skills at my beck and call has more advantages than money

so yes .... in short there are some Dominanant woman who would quite happily 'keep'a boy ... but I think it always depends on many factors ...

ETA ... although none of the above is what I would call 'buying' anything ... its about authority ... its about commitment ...and many other things ... but its not a purchase

< Message edited by MzMinx -- 2/18/2010 1:20:38 AM >

(in reply to Smutmonger)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 6:59:15 AM

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I got my slave for free: he's my husband/slave and I don't have the money to let him waste his time at home: he brings in the money. But our relation is 247 and he does a rgood job. He's really submissive in heart and loves me. A eadly combination... But enough dreaming: in reality we don't differ that much of a normal couple, I'm just the boss at home, own his body and mind, am the pampered one.
Which made me think about his future: if I should die (yes, I've been sick but everything is alright now) this true slave would be lost in the pach of subs who only want a free gig. So, I looked for an heir. (He's promissed in case off). But this means he's available to other woman, not that they take the burden of an older slave. Still looking for ladys nearby Belgium, for now he's promissed to a French Mistress.
Or I tried to make a sign available to other Mistresses: this man can be used when You encounter him for day-to-day help: taking over your bags while shopping f.i. Let's see it as an unpaid Interim-job, a Male Harem or something like that.
Just my two cents: there's a lot of playing around, but why not go for the serious work.

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(in reply to MzMinx)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 8:17:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMinx

Akasha can chime in for herself.. its well known her partner gave up career/earning to submit full time in their relationship ...

I am someone who has and would consider a submissive who did not earn or earned significantly less than I .... if he was not working outside the relationship at all ... he would need to be doing things I considered worthwhile and what taht was would change at different times ....

I work contract work and enjoy taking significantly long holidays ... say 3 to 4 mths at a time every year or so... so controling if, how and when a submissive worked is something I would enjoy above and beyond the D/s elements and service levels ..

I earn enough money to keep a boy ... although my prefernce is someone in a similar position to me ... who can take limited length contracts not all the time but when I desire them to . ... Legally I can have his contractual wages paid into my company and determine how much if any is paid to him at the time.. so in effect he would earn only what I desired him to earn within some minimum wage limits

In australia medical coverage and retirement superanuation is a simpler/ cheaper concept to set up than in many other countries ... and the benifits of haveing the right submissives energies and skills at my beck and call has more advantages than money

so yes .... in short there are some Dominanant woman who would quite happily 'keep'a boy ... but I think it always depends on many factors ...

ETA ... although none of the above is what I would call 'buying' anything ... its about authority ... its about commitment ...and many other things ... but its not a purchase

While I am the breadwinner in my relationship and I don't want my husband/manbitch having a career outside of the home, I consider our relationship to be nothing like what the OP is talking about - which to me is a male fantasy and pretty unrealistic. While it's true that finding a woman who is able to support the man financially is a bit of a challenge, the bigger hurdle in his idea is the mindset he's trying to create. Any time a relationship is built entirely on an erotically-charged fantasy (ie, the total objectification of the man and use of power over him because he's got no earning power on his own), it's full of holes.

More importantly, I don't want my man living on motivation that's based on a sexually charged ideal. Especially if he's a financial drain on me. I don't want to know his wheels are kept turning because he's a "kept boy" and I "own his ass." We may toy with those erotically charged ideas from time to time, but the only way I'd ever consider supporting a man financially is if he pulls his weight in the household as a hard working, motivated and self sufficient man. The image of a male prostitute, just because I make the money, is way too cheesy for me. It also implies that he's worthless and useless outside of my cashflow, which is another image that doesn't rest well with me *when it comes to the man I share my life with* (I find this kept boy scenario to be VERY hot for a fleeting fling with a man I maybe will see a couple times and that's all, but not someone who lives with me and shares my life with me).

The reality is that your "life partner" is often also your soul mate, if you intend to make it work for the long haul. I could never be in love with a man that I knew would be totally helpless if I tossed him out on his ass. Even though I support him, he's got all the capability to do fine on his own if he had to earn a living, and I wouldn't be attracted to him if he wasn't. He also is required to bring that capability into my house on a domestic level and also as a business partner, as needed, with my company - he just doesn't sit around and look pretty or provide sexual relief for me. Even though that's part of his role also.

Akasha

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(in reply to MzMinx)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 9:22:14 AM

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I used to have quite a taste for "kept men". I lost it when I felt seriously abused and taken advantage of by one too many pretty boys who lounged around playing World of Warcraft all day and were totally useless for housework or anything outside of the bedroom. I didn't sign on to be anybody's Mommy, so out they went. And I never did find one who didn't end up acting just like that, despite being clear about my expectations from the get-go, and good intentions pledged on their part.

At this point in my life, it's a nice fantasy, but I'm not doing it any more.

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 10:01:46 AM

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As long as owning a slave doesn't cause financial damage or even hardship for an owner, I say you all do as you like.

I like being the one at home where I can work on my writing all the time. I am blessed to have two men who cover household expenses so I can have this option.

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 11:37:35 AM

velt

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Joined: 2/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I used to have quite a taste for "kept men". I lost it when I felt seriously abused and taken advantage of by one too many pretty boys who lounged around playing World of Warcraft all day and were totally useless for housework or anything outside of the bedroom. I didn't sign on to be anybody's Mommy, so out they went. And I never did find one who didn't end up acting just like that, despite being clear about my expectations from the get-go, and good intentions pledged on their part.

At this point in my life, it's a nice fantasy, but I'm not doing it any more.

It's interesting to me that you bring up laziness and MMORPGs, because for me what drives me in the games (which I will freely admit to playing entirely too much of at times) isn't much different from what drives me outside of them. If anything, it is my desire for self-improvement and the need to feel productive that attracts me to them. The "grind" of repetitive play isn't much different than repetitive exercise. Ah.. cleaning is so much fun. >_< I love all my cleaning tools. I think my dustbuster handheld is my favorite. I have a push mower too which I like cause it has no engine to make noise or smelly fumes. Also have clippers and a saw which I get to use to keep the plants healthy and beautiful. Check this out... not only do I have all these neat things... but afterward... I get to clean them too and put them away in their special places! Clean the vacuum filter, get the grass off the mower, oil the saw. I have issues with being obsessive and just had to get this out.

What about a sub who took his duties too seriously? Like imagine sitting down to eat and you can tell he is disapproving of your manners, or gets fussy when your feet are on the furniture or what have you.

< Message edited by velt -- 2/18/2010 11:40:45 AM >

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 12:20:10 PM

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Well...I certainly wouldn't advocate for a "bought" sub lounging around all day. I mean, the domme should get her money's worth, right? AAkasha: I am not talking about the sub being a "financial drain" or unable to support himself or helpless if the domme threw him out (I myself am fortunate to be highly educated and handsomely-employed).

I can see where the total objectification of the "kept" male or male prostitute-figure is likely unrealistic for a meaningful long-term relationship (though I suppose that, as with anything, it depends upon degree).

I think that my posting might be my reaction/frustration at the seemingly-inevitable requests for money that I get from dommes. Even the non-pros all (at least the ones I've encountered) ask for money, payment of one bill or another, etc. And they start bringing it up right away...before we've even met in person. I am thinking that maybe this is how women feel when men jump right into the topic of sex. So...perhaps the genders objectify one another---men objectifying women as sex-provider and women objectifying men as money-provider.

Maybe I will amend my profile to indicate that I am seeking only wealthy (or at least financially-independent) dommes on the grounds that while I don't need anybody to support me...I do want to make sure that I am not being claimed primarily due to somebody's money woes.

(in reply to velt)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 1:10:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OralCuckGurl

But...just out of curiousity...has it ever been considered that a domme "buying" (i.e. making the sub male financially dependent upon her) a male-sub could likewise be considered to be a form of "ownership"? A male prostitute so to speak, only on an obviously grander scale (lifestyle as opposed to the one-time pop).

*Wonders what the male equivalent of a mistress (not in the bdsm or D/s sense) would be.*

Switch, not domme, here....to be honest, I know a couple of non-kink house husbands who, while not "male prostitutes" in the way the OP is describing, aren't far off from being 100% financially dependent on their wives who are the bread winners of the household. They seem to be perfectly happy with this situation.

I've spoken and met with 2 men from CM who were interested in this type of set-up. It really holds little to no interest for me, though, in the way the OP describes. I agree very much with what AAkasha said...

quote:

I could never be in love with a man that I knew would be totally helpless if I tossed him out on his ass.

Also, in response to your second post, OP....

quote:

I think that my posting might be my reaction/frustration at the seemingly-inevitable requests for money that I get from dommes. Even the non-pros all (at least the ones I've encountered) ask for money, payment of one bill or another, etc. And they start bringing it up right away...before we've even met in person. I am thinking that maybe this is how women feel when men jump right into the topic of sex. So...perhaps the genders objectify one another---men objectifying women as sex-provider and women objectifying men as money-provider.

Much like men who expect instant sex...I would have no interest in anyone who expected instant money. It seems pretty telling of the type of person they are if there's a demand for money or sex right from the starting gate. That actually makes it easier to seperate the wheat from the chaff.

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 1:16:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OralCuckGurl
I think that my posting might be my reaction/frustration at the seemingly-inevitable requests for money that I get from dommes. Even the non-pros all (at least the ones I've encountered) ask for money, payment of one bill or another, etc. And they start bringing it up right away...before we've even met in person.

That experience doesn't match mine at all - the matter of payments has rarely come up for me - and not at all since I began to recognise simple clues as to a domme being a pro- or tribute- domme. But the difference between our respective experiences might well be explained by your next comment . . .

quote:

I am thinking that maybe this is how women feel when men jump right into the topic of sex. I am thinking that maybe this is how women feel when men jump right into the topic of sex. So...perhaps the genders objectify one another---men objectifying women as sex-provider and women objectifying men as money-provider.

I do approach very much in a vanilla, friendly way first. Kink-talk has to follow chum talk, I find.

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 2:19:52 PM

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I deliberatly ignored the sexual and kink sides of the question and how it was phrased... and decided to answer only the simple concept of are there any females who have or would desire submisives/slaves who serve without a significant emphasis on the income that submissive brings in

I agree with you Akasha that most males and many woman think that being in a D/s relationship where they get to stay at home is all about them and all about how they get to be sexually used etc... very very little beyond the fantasy is ever considered

and as I said its not about 'buying' .... the ops reply of the dominant getting their 'monies' worth ....just shows that he is well into the fantasy side as its never that simple .. no relationship ever is ... ..and the fact that I can consider a subnmisive who would not earn outside the home has nothing to do with the money and getting my monies worth from someone

I have a very well payed house keeper for that .... I get my monies worth from her ...

all sorts of fantasies can be hot .... but baseing life on a fantasy is never going to stay hot ...people are far to multi dimentional for that .... but it no longer surprises me that most males online approach things from their fanhtasy first

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 6:22:15 PM

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From: Pyroaquatica
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Hmm.

While doing the housebitch thing I would feel very much obligated to work on top of that.

If we are to be tools then let us be multifunctional tools.

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As your will is, so is your deed.
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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 6:33:51 PM

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*smiles* there is a lot more to life than being a house 'bitch' .... even when not working

I run my own company ... so I have a lot of things for someone to do that are way beyond the domestic side of life

but in general I do not think most would be suited to that style of relationship ... my own personal prefernce would be some one I can determine when they work ... such as I do for myself

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 6:43:08 PM

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From: Pyroaquatica
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMinx

*smiles* there is a lot more to life than being a house 'bitch' .... even when not working

I run my own company ... so I have a lot of things for someone to do that are way beyond the domestic side of life

but in general I do not think most would be suited to that style of relationship ... my own personal prefernce would be some one I can determine when they work ... such as I do for myself

My preference would be to help a powerful lady that is able to smoothly operate a company.

The least I can do is assist financially/cut costs/labor for her.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to MzMinx)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 6:59:10 PM

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the whole idea for me is .... its led by me ... and followed by him ... *smiles* .... but it is still a partnership and benifits everyone

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 7:13:22 PM

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Being a "bought" submissive male always sounds like a really cool fantasy, but very often has now basis in reality or when translated really sounds like something for me because the one option I do have as a submissive male, which would be the last choice I'd hope to have, is to actually be able to choose the woman who gets to own me. Being bought by someone seems a bit odd when that kind of defeats that whole purpose.

Now, I'd have no problem being a seriously good producer and provider once with that right person, and I'd also have very little problem trying to fit into what works best for her particular desires in our relationship. But again, that all still kind of falls back into that original choice situation where I'd probably have weeded out people who I wouldn't be the right match for in the first place.

So yeah, it tends to sound a lot like a fantastic fantasy, but a fantasy nonetheless. These days, I'd settle for a really great woman who has a great personality and a sense of humor that matches mine. Come to think of it, that's not really "settling" but a pretty damn good find.

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/18/2010 9:56:28 PM

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Kept man (or slave) equals sugar baby in my book. Different names but the game is all the same.

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 5:24:54 AM

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In my book Kept Slave = Worthless Bum sponging off a woman. Might as well stay in his Mama's basement 'cause I sure as hell don't want another mouth to feed.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with being the "House Husband" who takes care of the house, the cleaning, the cooking, the marketing, the house and car repairs, the lawn care, the kids, the chauffeuring, etc. that a '50's style' house wife would be expected to do PLUS the traditional male maintenance work. I might consider that. However, I have never, EVER met one who would do that.

I already have a husband who makes less money than I do and works fewer hours. He does do most of the shopping and either cooks or brings home dinner every night. He occasionally cleans, does laundry and all those other things. I do whatever is 'left' to be done on the weekends. So I sort of have "House Husband". Just not to the full extent.

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 12:29:21 PM

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It is interesting that so many seem to assume that I am describing someone who would sit around the house all day. Or someone who would be expensive. Or someone who could not support himself if he had to, much less anyone else. I think that my comments disavowed those stereotypes.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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