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Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 1:22:44 AM   
TaintedBeauty


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		I consider my self a sub, but at the same token have been told I lean more towards the slave aspect. I want to know from a Dom's point of view..what is the difference between the two?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 1:30:14 AM   
doves


Posts: 120
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline 		i am not a Master, i am slave..... 

i found this link, and hoped it may be of use to you in your learning.

http://kajirus.dotorg.org/index.php?name=Sections&req=viewarticle&artid=2&page=1

kind regards

_____________________________

ShibariJon's dove

(in reply to TaintedBeauty)
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RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 5:59:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#281512
Link to 7 threads on the discussion of sub and slave

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TaintedBeauty)
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RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 7:06:34 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		One of the things, in my opinion, I've observed between people I think are subs and people I think are slaves is that a slave is proactive in their service while a sub is reactive. The slave will look for things to get done, the sub will wait until they are told to do it. The service gets done, very satisfactorilly, both ways. Of course, this is my personal opinion...which is what the question boils down to.

Fire



_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to TaintedBeauty)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 8:55:19 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		A sub is an elongated bread rool filled with deli meats and cheeses..or a submersible boat.

A slave is a person...or part of a machine

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 9:30:59 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		In my opinion...
A sub is a sub for a period of time or one who has limits and or safewords.
They often think of  "self" first.
A slave is perminent, has no limits or safewords and they think of service first.
note: a "Dom" plays and does not take long term responsibility
a "Master" has full 24/7 responsibility for their slave

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to TaintedBeauty)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:54:22 AM   
BrianSenior


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		The definition or meaning beteween sub and slave has been discussed more then any other topic. There is many different opinions on it. What the difference is between the two will never be set  in stone to which the entire community will agree upon the meanings. One can only give thier opinions as to what they think is a sub compared to a slave. I dont agree with any one saying they dont have any limits, nor do I look for a limitless person when looking for a slave. Life has many many ideas and possibilities to say limitless. It is an opinion that a slave will have less of a  voice in a relationship- to do with out question is the slave's role. A submissive will have more input- that would be a seperation of the two, the amount of say they have. A submissive serves for selfgratification, where as a slave will serve for the gratification of ther One they are with. To Me- the bottom line is the submission, both slave and sub are submissive. There fore most subs will have slave tendenencies, depending on the depth of the M/s relationship. A slave doesn't have less limits or give away more control, but is more submissive to where the Top they are with has more controling. Ending where they are more of a more along the lines or aspect of, an owned person. Why some one wishes to have a slave with no input or say at all is not for Me to judge any more then it is for some one else to judge Me and what I have/want. Knowing from the few books of Gor that I read, even in Gor the kajira had input to the Free. They did not enjoy doing what was put to them always, but did so. They did not have the choice to say no, as the whip was always there to change thier mind. I agree with MasterFireMaam in this statement "The slave will look for things to get done, the sub will wait until they are told to do it. The service gets done, very satisfactorilly". Just like all of the other opinions here, these are just Mine. ~BK~

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 2:56:31 PM   
TaintedBeauty


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you. All of these posts have been very helpful....but I believe yours was the best that summed it up. Although questions still linger, there are less now, from when I first started questioning. ^_^. Thank you.

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-`- Time can not change me, I am that love, when you see me, I may have a different face but look beyond that and you will see me. -`-

(in reply to BrianSenior)
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RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 3:59:15 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Slave: One who exists in a state of total servitude without expecting remuneration or reward. A being that is dependant upon or controlled by another entirely.

Submissive: (BDSM jargon) One who submits to a dominant personality either sexually or non-sexually, often through an arrangement of repeated negotiation of boundaries.

Sub: A large sandwich consisting of a long roll split lengthwise and filled with layers of meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and condiments. Also called regionally Cuban sandwich, grinder, hero, hoagie, Italian sandwich, poor boy, torpedo, wedge, zep.

(in reply to TaintedBeauty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 6:09:09 PM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		I understand exactly what you are questioning, I also seem to vacillate in my needs. Some days I think I need a slave others I need a sub with slave tendencies. I have STOPPED trying to wear a hat that the pysudo title has to fit just right. It  always happens anyway, you find someone, sparks fly and you begin learning about each other. sighs.....  Next !!!!!

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:27:15 PM   
terminal148


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		The answer you look for lies within the individual you are with. My interpretation is very simple: A slave is property, a sub can walk away.

(in reply to DelRey)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:29:47 PM   
candybox


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline 		A SUB IS THERE FOR THEIR PLEASURE.......A SLAVE IS THERE FOR THEIR MASTERS PLEASURE

(in reply to terminal148)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:33:36 PM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		In reply to candybox.... a slave can walk away, too.

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Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:37:00 PM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		oops.. that was for terminal.. my apologies

_____________________________

Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

(in reply to babygirlangel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:40:10 PM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline 		I don't think I've ever seen a definition that really worked for me.  My girl considers herself a submissive, but at times she refers to me as her owner and master.  She refuses to accept use of a safe word and trusts me completely.  At the same time, she has said that I could control her finances if I wanted, but I prefer to simply oversee and guide.  She considers herself owned, but does not wear a collar.  As for control, she wants me to have as much as humanly possible, and is scared if I allow her much leeway in anything.  We have no written contract (we both find it fairly meaningless) but she has said she never wants to get away from me, no matter what.

Simply put, no definition fits, and just to make things simple for conversation, I call her my submissive.  What really matters is how her and I both feel, not what words we use when we speak or type.

(in reply to terminal148)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/29/2006 11:48:37 PM   
fullofgrace


Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline 		i call myself a submissive, but by many of these definitions, i am more of a slave. i consider my Dominant my owner, and my joyful service to Him is most important to me. i have "preferences" and "limits," so to speak, but i trust Him to the point that i would do something well beyond what He knows i am comfortable with if He wished it of me. we have a very simple written "contract" that doesn't cover every aspect of our relationship but does cover a few; we mostly rely on verbal communication. i do think of myself, and a lot of my self-care is at His behest; He is very concerned with me being personally fulfilled, having a good experience at school and socially, and taking care of my health and not overworking myself. i know if i ever truly felt that He did not value me or did not have my best interests at heart, i would probably get out of the relationship, but i think i would be more likely to get out of the relationship if i felt that He were unhappy with me and would be happier with someone else. yes, He does give me pleasure, and yes, i do enjoy our arrangement and the sexual and emotional pleasure i receive from Him, but my primary concern is serving Him, not my own gratification. i suppose i use the term "submissive" because it is what we use when we are speaking to each other, not because i think it necessarily describes me anymore than "slave" does. i'm not quite sure where i fit in by others' standards, really.

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to CanadianGuy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/30/2006 12:52:59 AM   
TaintedBeauty


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		This makes perfect sense. I suppose...what makes the most sense to me is..a submissive is someone who's just looking for someone to be a slave to. ^_^. LOL. Thank you so much for posting this.

_____________________________

-`- Time can not change me, I am that love, when you see me, I may have a different face but look beyond that and you will see me. -`-

(in reply to fullofgrace)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sub or slave? - 3/30/2006 5:54:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TaintedBeauty

This makes perfect sense. I suppose...what makes the most sense to me is..a submissive is someone who's just looking for someone to be a slave to. ^_^. LOL. Thank you so much for posting this.

But the fact is that it's not true.  There are many subs who will tell you that they are quite happy in their orientation, that they do not consider it to be a "sliding scale" and have no desire or inclination to be a slave to anyone.

The problem with any definition that anyone will bring up here, is that I could present plenty of people who would completely negate what they say.  It really is a personal definition choice.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TaintedBeauty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sub or slave? - 4/3/2006 7:18:48 AM   
Angeni


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings :)
I would have to agree with LuckyAlbatross in that defining oneself as submissive or slave is a personal choice. I would like to add that, in my own experience, I identify myself as both simply because I believe that different people bring out different aspects of a person. Just my humble opinion though.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sub or slave? - 4/3/2006 10:49:56 PM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		a slave can walk away also, the difference is that a slave will stay for the long haul. they too feel a responsablity to the relationship. 

_____________________________

378-828-272

(in reply to terminal148)
Profile   Post #: 20
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