RE: Doormats

RE: Doormats (Full Version)

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 5:55:04 PM)
If I want to treat somebody like a doormat, really simple. I don't answer the door, they can stay out on the front porch for all I care.

Smutmonger -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 5:56:43 PM)
They can camp out there with the crazy ones. [:D]

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 5:57:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff This comes down to what people WANT to be referred to. What makes them happy or unhappy. Very few, whether it is personally or professionally want to be thought of as a door mat on a day to day basis. We all respect that guy we work with who lays down for every one......... don't we. Jeff Nah we just pick on them and diminish them as a human being because we think of them as less....... It is not my job to increase the self esteem amoung most people I interact with. It is ok if you don't keep score when you are 6 years old. In life the score is fucking kept. Sometime poor self esteem is warranted. It is the brains way of telling you that you are a loser and that you shoud stop that shit. Jeff I guess I came to different conclusions about life...If I perceive someone as needing help..I usually help. The kill or be killed mentality went out when I grew up.

Jeffff -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:07:01 PM)
If someone ASKS for help yes. If some one wants to whine about how shitty life is? They are cordially invited to go fuck themselves

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:07:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff It is not my job to increase the self esteem amoung most people I interact with. It is ok if you don't keep score when you are 6 years old. In life the score is fucking kept. Sometime poor self esteem is warranted. It is the brains way of telling you that you are a loser and that you shoud stop that shit. Jeff Edited to remove questionable dark humor, that might be taken the wrong way and risks hurting thoughts/feelings of others.

NihilusZero -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:07:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveSimone To me, doormat has negative connotations because its indicative of being walked on. A doormat is someone who stands by weakly while some one uses, abuses, and generally disrespects them in ways that they are NOT ok with. It's the in ability to stand up for ones self in bad situations. So when our dear most favorite troll says that he wants a doormat, to me that's saying he wants some one who he can trample, stomp on, and treat poorly in all manner, and will still lay at his front door despite feeling completely abused and unhappy in the relationship. I fail to see the positive side of this. Being obedient and compliant is not one with being forced to do things that are sincerely harmful to your being. I love and trust my partner deeply, but if it ever comes to the point where he puts me in a situation that's damaging to my emotional or physical well being, then no, I'm not going to sit by the way side and let it happen. This is interesting. By this description, doormats are individuals who are incapable of refusing consent, which leads to the distinction between them (being in an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship) and others (who are still incapable of consent, but are happy in their situation). So, what exactly is the issue, then? The status of being that pliable or being that pliable in a situation that is unhappy/unfulfilling? Because the only aspect differentiating the two is the other partner.

NihilusZero -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:13:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious b) someone who unquestioningly obeys whoever comes along first, and then later realises that this was a stupid decision? That does not display self-awareness, prowess or confidence. Now, wait a sec. Changing one's mind later on does not actually change the construct of something. You can't cry rape on a recent ex with whom you used to have rough sex with. Suddenly deciding you want to be a born-again prude after leaving a BDSM relationship does not magically make the floggings that happened retroactively "abuse". quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious a)-types aren't doormats, afaic-they are people who have made a well-considered decision. b)-types are people I would call doormats. Of course from the outside it's nigh-on impossible to tell which is which.... And positive or negative results can occur in either scenario...which is part of the underlying 'stuff' I'm tying to prod here.

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:14:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff If someone ASKS for help yes. If some one wants to whine about how shitty life is? They are cordially invited to go fuck themselves Nobody was whining in your example....This is of course after the fact. I probably wouldn't wait for them to ask but hey that's me. BTW that kill or be killed thing? I have little problem letting that out from time to time when I think someone's being an arse..I just don't live by that "code".

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:15:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff If someone ASKS for help yes. If some one wants to whine about how shitty life is? They are cordially invited to go fuck themselves Oh Jefffy.. my life fucking sucks so fucking bad. Nobody loves me, I don't understand why all the assholes in this bar don't like me, those fucking assholes think they are so much better than me. I don't understand why nobody loves me. Ohh Jefffy.. you're my one true friend even though I think you're a bit of asshole too, you've always told me like it is and put me back in my place. I respect you so fucking much Jefffy, I don't know why you're hanging out here with all these other fucking loosers too. I can't believe last week you said what you said to me, I was so pissed off at you, you were a fucking asshole. Jefff.. what am I gonna do? My life fucking sucks. Screw this bar and everybody in it, they can go fuck themselves. I hate the bartender here she's such a fucking bitch, and the beer is tastes funny cause it's not kept cold enough. Fucking stupid people. But you like me Jefffy? right? we always seemed to get along well. I'm glad you stopped being an asshole towards me like everybody else, ooohhh Jeffy you're my one true friend.

NihilusZero -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:15:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i believe it probably goes a long way in confusing submissives who on one hand want to give their all but on the other are fearful that theyll be deemed (worthless)as the term suggests) doormats. and yet obedience, honesty, trust and full submission is what is valued and sought. you cant have it both ways. It seems the pathway to get there is a big fixture for many, but... Doormatishness is essentially the end result most D/s and M/s relationships are working towards.

Jeffff -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:16:30 PM)
[8D]

NihilusZero -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:19:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I know some people want to identify like that, and that is fine by me, but to me a doormat is something I wipe my feet on because I do not want to get where I live dirty... its a shit wiper basically. I wouldn't want to be called toilet paper either. How do you dissociate the word in your head when you are making those distinctions? To those who would use the therm to describe themselves, are you just thinking in your head: "Well, that's the term they want to use and that's fine but obviously they're not doormats but just use the term because what it means to them is something entirely different."

domiguy -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:21:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I guess I came to different conclusions about life...If I perceive someone as needing help..I usually help. The kill or be killed mentality went out when I grew up. Oh come on now. You wouldn't have time to shit. I help out people in the bulk and a few at a personal level. It's not a kill or be killed it's more like... I just ain't got the time. Or get over it. Or hope you get that shit fixed.

Jeffff -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:21:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff If someone ASKS for help yes. If some one wants to whine about how shitty life is? They are cordially invited to go fuck themselves Nobody was whining in your example....This is of course after the fact. I probably wouldn't wait for them to ask but hey that's me. BTW that kill or be killed thing? I have little problem letting that out from time to time when I think someone's being an arse..I just don't live by that "code". Theres is a small number of people in this world that I really care about. Those, I would split my last dollar with. I can not save the whole world and I will not try. I will try and save those that I love however I define "love" I will not waste my time and energy on emotional vampires. I absolutely refuse to do so. You may be a better man than I. I can live with that. Jeff edited, as always, for typing, not content

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:22:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff [8D] I was just sayin.. thought I'd share an example of how truely ugly it can get at times. Looks like NZ is on the hunt for point hand outs now.

domiguy -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:23:16 PM)
Jeffff completes me.

NihilusZero -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:24:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy "Listen up, fuck stick...No one talks like that. [ironic musing]. 5:10 - 5:30

Jeffff -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:28:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Jeffff completes me. I cain't quit you DG!

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:37:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff If someone ASKS for help yes. If some one wants to whine about how shitty life is? They are cordially invited to go fuck themselves Nobody was whining in your example....This is of course after the fact. I probably wouldn't wait for them to ask but hey that's me. BTW that kill or be killed thing? I have little problem letting that out from time to time when I think someone's being an arse..I just don't live by that "code". Theres is a small number of people in this world that I really care about. Those, I would split my last dollar with. I can not save the whole world and I will not try. I will try and save those that I love however I define "love" I will not waste my time and energy on emotional vampires. I absolutely refuse to do so. You may be a better man than I. I can live with that. Jeff edited, as always, for typing, not content Nope just trying to be a better man in general but thanks for the thought anyway.. It means a lot.

NihilusZero -> RE: Doormats (2/23/2010 6:37:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I cain't quit you DG! Not that I would presume a thread of mine should be any more immune to thread-jacking than any other, but after reading this thread...serious question dude: When did you cross over from having meritous insight and intellectual offerings to this?

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