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So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 3:59:08 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/28/2010
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I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.
He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.
Why would he do this? And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:13:30 PM

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From: Northern New Jersey
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Is this online only? Or do you have face to face time as well? You haven't said how long you have been together, but you are young, so it couldn't have been very long. Even though it shouldn't make a difference whether it is online or RL, it does. After all, if it is online only, it is easy to just disappear when you don't want to deal with someone else's emotions, or for any reason. I know how you feel. After 14 years with my partner, he is only now starting to get the concept of letting me know he doesn't have time. He doesn't particularly care for the phone, so more often than not we text when apart. It would make me crazy when he couldn't text a couple of sentences. He doesn't do that anymore (thankfully), but he has a really hectic schedule and sometimes would just get overly busy and then fall asleep.

If it is online only and he is ignoring you, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship. Don't focus on what's wrong with YOU that made this happen if it is online only, because chances are, it has nothing to do with you. If it is RL and you just talk on yahoo when apart, you need to really sit down and try to make him understand your needs and see if he is willing to meet you halfway. How you tell him is simply explaining it like you did here. You tell him that you are going through some very difficult stuff in your life, and even though he isn't responsible for that stuff, you need the comfort of being able to talk with him, even if the talking isn't about that stuff (or if you need it to be about that stuff, then say so). Let him know that when he ignores you like that, without telling you he won't be available when you are expecting him to be or when he usually was, it is something that you were so looking forward to and the disappointment is upsetting you.

(in reply to xjacquix)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:13:45 PM

Aylee

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Have you tried a phone call?

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:20:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix

I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.
He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.
Why would he do this? And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

Careful taking advice from strangers..They don't know anything about your situation. Why don't you do like Aylee says and give the guy a call or at least exhaust every possible avenue of contact before you get upset.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 2/24/2010 4:24:57 PM >

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:21:37 PM

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How long has it been? Were any arrangements made beforehand? have you talked about limit stretching? Has he expressed an interest in tackling your fear of being ignored?

Need more info...

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:24:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix
I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.

Um... how young are you? I had a situation once where a lady was, ah, younger than she represented on her profile, and she admitted this to me in Yahoo chat. I discontinued all sex-related conversation with her immediately.

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:39:08 PM

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From: Washington, DC area
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He has a life offline without you.. probably a wife or girlfriend -- maybe even a couple of kids. He's starting to feel guilty or maybe even reconnect with his family.

Its probably time to cut your losses and move on -- maybe try to find someone face to face and hopefully unattached.

By the way, from what I've seen the last couple of weeks, your story comes up about once or twice a week, so search around in the Master's forum for advice from lots of people

Good luck

quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix

I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.
He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.
Why would he do this? And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

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(in reply to xjacquix)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:39:36 PM

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I couldn't even begin to speculate, but this wouldn't go over well with me. The only time anything remotely close to this happened with my partner, he was out the door in a rush to get to his stepfather's bedside when he'd had a heart attack. He was not in touch for close to two days and it was in the early going, try to catch each other every possible time they are around time period, so it was very upsetting to say the least. He was very comforting when he returned and explained his absence. I understood and it was the first of what has become many conversations about staying connected when things come up, both letting each other know when they are going to be away and being available in case such a communication needed to occur or if help was needed in a problem situation. Should he resurface you will need to be honest about how you feel, what you need in the future, and to listen to his why. Watch and see how or if he comforts you and helps you get past it. If what you observe and feel aren't suitable, then it may mean that there is a bigger problem and that you need to reevaluate things. Hopefully it turns out well. It might not. I wish you the best. Please dry your tears and do your best to look at this maturely with a cool head and make your decisions accordingly.

lovingpet

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:49:23 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix

I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.
He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.
Why would he do this? And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

He knows. You said yourself, you've already told him.

No communication is a form of communication.

Get the message that he's giving you, by not taking to you.

The message is that he either gets off on hurting you by ignoring you, or that you're not important enough to him, for him to spend five seconds sending you an email or text. Or both. In either case, why would you want someone like that anyway? Don't you deserve better?

Unless its like RedMagic said, and he found out that you're underage, or younger than he thought you were. If you deceived him, then he deserves better.

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(in reply to xjacquix)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:52:19 PM

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Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix

I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.
He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.

Your profile age is listed as 18...you are young. Has your age been an issue with him in the past? How long has this "past" been going on? Why do you feel he thinks you aren't good enough? Good enough for what?

Why would he do this?

That's a question only he can answer...everything else is speculation.

And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

The same way you said it here. Whether or not he chooses to listen is another thing.

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 4:57:37 PM

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Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix
I feel like my Master is ignoring me.

Before you wonder about why he's doing this, you might try to take a cold, hard look at the situation and figure out if he actually is ignoring you. There have been times when I've been feeling emotionally needy (code for "clingy") when I felt like I was being ignored, but when I looked at my text message list, I realized that what felt like 12 hours was really only 3.

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(in reply to xjacquix)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:17:26 PM

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Sweetie? I know it hurts, but you are 18 years old. This kinda thing is supposed to happen. You are bound to be heartbroken again.

This is necessary so you can learn . Learn what you like, what you don't like. Learn what you need and what you can live without.

I am not trying to patronize you. But all this will pass. By the time you are 22, this will probably be a distant memory.

It's how life works

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(in reply to xjacquix)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:19:18 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

He has a life offline without you.. probably a wife or girlfriend -- maybe even a couple of kids. He's starting to feel guilty or maybe even reconnect with his family.

Its probably time to cut your losses and move on -- maybe try to find someone face to face and hopefully unattached.

By the way, from what I've seen the last couple of weeks, your story comes up about once or twice a week, so search around in the Master's forum for advice from lots of people

Good luck

quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix

I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.
He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.
Why would he do this? And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

You got all that from her post?

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:22:40 PM

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From: Washington, DC area
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oh no.. of course not.. but you know.. my patience for these kind of posts has run out I think.. I'll fully admit I haven't a clue what I'm talking about.. but who does from her post? So.... I went with it.. and in the end, its possible I'm not that far off the mark...

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:23:06 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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His wife read his chat log and has hit the roof.

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:37:12 PM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

oh no.. of course not.. but you know.. my patience for these kind of posts has run out I think.. I'll fully admit I haven't a clue what I'm talking about.. but who does from her post? So.... I went with it.. and in the end, its possible I'm not that far off the mark...

She hasn't shared any specifics... I think Red may have hit the mark... her only specific was something about being "too young"... perhaps we have a minor in our midst... and if the dom she has been chatting with got the same impression he might have decided to become "unavailable" permanently... who wants to be highlighted on Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" after all

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(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:44:28 PM

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I would tend to go with Madame4a's outlook on the situation. I read her profile and it says she isn't interested in anyone over 28 so we are only talking a 10 year age gap here.

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RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 5:52:55 PM

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xjacquix

I'm very upset and very very sad right now. I feel like my Master is ignoring me. And I am not only going through a very hard time in my life but I also told him that being ignored is the worst thing for me and that if he was going to be busy to tell me so that I don't freak out.

Sorry to hear this! <big platonic hug>

quote:

He's not going on yahoo, which is where we normally talk and I feel as if he's begining to think I am not good enough or to young.
Why would he do this? And how do I tell him that it's hurting me when he won't talk to me?

There's been some really good advice on here already -

Notably (but not exclusively) lucylucy and Jefff

How long has he not been on yahoo? Hours, days, weeks?

If it's hours - think of all of the genuine reasons someone may not be able to get to yh.

If it's days - then yes, you need to have a chat with him - take Aylee's advice - if you don't have a phone number, then alas - you just have to wait I spose... (although I'd say - and this is only my opinion - that you should have the phone number of your dom if it's a serious relationship...)

If it's weeks - then have a good old bawl, shout at someome and then move on (eaiser said than done I know).

Finally... now that I've given you my advice... I think the best advice so far as been ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Careful taking advice from strangers..They don't know anything about your situation. Why don't you do like Aylee says and give the guy a call or at least exhaust every possible avenue of contact before you get upset.

(in reply to xjacquix)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/24/2010 6:27:14 PM

elleX

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Joined: 10/24/2009
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... the only things to do is to insist for a good talk,,, there so many possibility
you will find out soon or late
good luck

(in reply to crazyml)

RE: So very very confused.... - 2/25/2010 10:42:20 AM

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“Why would he do this?” You will have to ask him.

If I had to speculate, hmmm? Yahoo + online affair + joined CollarMe a month ago + profile warning “huge bitch” and “3-7 days of evil” when you have your period = it’s been a month, were you a bitch and now he won’t talk to you?

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