StrangerThan -> RE: "Catholic guilt" and bdsm? (3/3/2010 5:33:24 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Smutmonger One of the stranger abiguities I see in people practicing bdsm is the feeling that a lot of justifications are being expoused to excuse a bent for kinky sex. From the sub side-"The devil (Dom)made me do it." And they can still wear the "good girl/boy" badges. And from the other side-some sort of justification as a benevolent paternal figure? Why do you think this need exists for so many-validation that they aren't "sick"? I see it from the other side, as in a release from guilt, particularly from the submissive standpoint. Much is made in the bdsm world on the value of trust, and how much trust is fostered in relationships, even among casual play partners. Control means responsibility, means if there is guilt to bear from a given act, a given session, a given relationship, it honestly is mine to bear, not my submissive's. It is through her obedience to me and her trust in me that the guilt for the content becomes mine because I have led her there and because she has placed the trust in me to know where to lead her, how to do so, and probably as importantly, when to do so. Wherever that place is, whether it be floating along in that hallucinatory state while bound and beaten, writhing in the depths of sexual revelry, or sliding along the edges of limits, the trust she puts in me places the responsibility squarely upon my shoulders. Well done it can engender a sense of freedom. At the same time, some forms of guilt are fun to play with. My woman gets hotter than a Georgia sidewalk and wetter than India during monsoon season over being turned across a knee and spanked for being a naughty girl. So hell, i don't mind creating places for her to be naughty. I think guilt is a large part of why some people come to bdsm, and a large part of the freedom they find within it. I also think that spending the time to truly know your partner gives you the knowledge to know where the fun might lie, and where the mine field starts. Even minefields can be traversed however, if done slowly and with patience. I gave up the guilt a long time ago though. I freely admit to being a perverted bastard.
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