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why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:16:41 PM

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I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about. He criticized a submissive he was with for smiling, saying basically that a "true submissive" doesn't smile while being fucked or given orders. OK, the whole "true submissive" thing is stupid, I know, and I'm not looking to start a debate about whether or not "true submissives" smile. I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling. Can anyone enlighten me? Thanks.

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“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:19:16 PM

osf

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sounds like someone has read too much online protocol

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:21:28 PM

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Eh, someone thinks that the way to make his partner happy is to keep her from being happy. Just your standard HNG idiot.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:21:57 PM

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OMFG,,,his POWER was THREATENED by this massive display of DISOBEDIENCE. It just goes to show that some guys CAN be three years old forever!

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about. He criticized a submissive he was with for smiling, saying basically that a "true submissive" doesn't smile while being fucked or given orders. OK, the whole "true submissive" thing is stupid, I know, and I'm not looking to start a debate about whether or not "true submissives" smile. I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling. Can anyone enlighten me? Thanks.

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:22:26 PM

PrincessSlave88

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I understand and I agree with you lucylucy no one should ever be criticized for smiling submissive/slave or not. It's pretty beneficial to one's well being
happy trails =]

< Message edited by PrincessSlave88 -- 3/13/2010 7:23:07 PM >

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:24:33 PM

thepillowdreamer

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my bet is on jerk-ass loser. i've noticed that a lot of dominant men don't have pictures of them smiling in their profile pictures.

maybe the incompetent ones believe twue dominance and twue submission exist only in looking creepy and never indulging in rofls or lollercoasters.

we should set up a charity for these poor souls.

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(in reply to osf)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:25:32 PM

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Believe it or not lucy, I kinda agree with him.

To some, the thrill is in the pleasing while in - misery-aspect. To some, the thrill is in the pleasing while in - content mode.

Whether either is real or not, it is up to the two, I guess.

I'd prefer to be the misery type. I do not like to smile, smiling implies to me that I have been deserving of some sort of 'reward'. Maybe I don't deserve to smile?

BUT, I do not agree with his assessment of true sub in that manner. He is likely too moronic to understand or verbalize his meaning/expectation of what he wants communicated back and forth between him and a girl.

He simply just doesn't understand that he needs to be specific that he requires less of a service-smile-happy submissive.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:26:39 PM

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Maybe he was insecure about his lil cock.

Or maybe, just maybe, she liked very much what he was doing! Some people just have no clue, but their over sensitivity would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

I've been known to smile big time, but then I am not submissive, just evil.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:27:27 PM

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I look too much like a shark when I smile-it frightens small children.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thepillowdreamer

my bet is on jerk-ass loser. i've noticed that a lot of dominant men don't have pictures of them smiling in their profile pictures.

maybe the incompetent ones believe twue dominance and twue submission exist only in looking creepy and never indulging in rofls or lollercoasters.

we should set up a charity for these poor souls.

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to thepillowdreamer)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:42:05 PM

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quote:

I look too much like a shark when I smile-it frightens small children.

nothin' wrong with an evil creep smile Smut,

it is the clowns that smile like John Wayne Gacey and act like the nice guy smiles that you gotta worry about.

At least an evil smile/grin...is honest.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:51:53 PM

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quote:

I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling

You are asking us to interpret the actions of a person we know nothing about? I mean, everybody makes this up as we go along, there isn't exactly a manual for it...

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:55:42 PM

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I smile a lot when I'm with my Owner, not big happy-go-lucky smiles, but I know I have a blissfully happy look on my face a lot of the time, even (especially!) when I'm in serious pain. It obviously doesn't bother my Owner one bit, but I was surprised to see that someone else would be so critical of a smile.

I agree with those of you who are seeing this as a threat to him. His other journal entries were very defensive, which I take as a sign of insecurity.

I suppose for people who are play partners but not in a relationship, things might be different, but if my Owner didn't want me to smile, I think a ton of energy would drain out of our relationship. I need to be able to laugh and enjoy myself with my partner, even when I'm being tortured. I mean, is there any appropriate reaction besides laughing when he realizes the key to the handcuffs just broke off in the lock and serious tools will be required for removal? But I understand that what works for me doesn't work for everyone.

Crap, I'm hijacking my own thread.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to came4U)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 7:56:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling

You are asking us to interpret the actions of a person we know nothing about? I mean, everybody makes this up as we go along, there isn't exactly a manual for it...

I didn't ask why HE would criticize a sub for smiling, I asked why ANYONE would criticize a sub for smiling, so no, I wasn't asking you to interpret the actions of a person you know nothing about. That would be stupid.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to antipode)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:03:52 PM

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quote:

I smile a lot when I'm with my Owner, not big happy-go-lucky smiles, but I know I have a blissfully happy look on my face a lot of the time, even (especially!) when I'm in serious pain. It obviously doesn't bother my Owner one bit, but I was surprised to see that someone else would be so critical of a smile.

yet, you write this thread with the pretense of:

quote:

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about.

so, the question is,...why do you care what some dom said in his profile??

I don't have a 'master to be blissfully happy with'. The question is why do you care about his kink that he wants a gal that he wants to be 'miss misery'?

sigh, all I know that if I was owned, I wouldn't be here and I'd be the one blissfully happy to never see a computer again and live miserably under his miserable foot. Now THAT is worth a smile.

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It hurts.....that you call me a masochist

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:06:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

I smile a lot when I'm with my Owner, not big happy-go-lucky smiles, but I know I have a blissfully happy look on my face a lot of the time, even (especially!) when I'm in serious pain. It obviously doesn't bother my Owner one bit, but I was surprised to see that someone else would be so critical of a smile.

yet, you write this thread with the pretense of:
quote:

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about.

so, the question is,...why do you care what some dom said in his profile??

I don't have a 'master to be blissfully happy with'. The question is why do you care about his kink that he wants a gal that he wants to be 'miss misery'?

sigh, all I know that if I was owned, I wouldn't be here and I'd be the one blissfully happy to never see a computer again and live miserably under his miserable foot. Now THAT is worth a smile.

I couldn't make sense of the comment and was curious about it. That's all.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to came4U)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:06:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling.

I wish I could understand this as well. I think that the number one *order* I am given is to smile.

I would imagine it might be connected to the *averted eyes* desire that many d-types seem to have. For some, having their s-type kneeling with head lowered exudes more surrender and respect (or, at least, perceived surrender and respect on the d-type's part) than one who is facing up? So, for some, it might just be one of those things that for whatever reason, they want their s-types to do/not do because it represents a certain level of submission to them.

Or, as you say, it could just be that smiling is somehow a threat. Maybe he feels that a smiling submissive is mocking him in some way? Like...the smile isn't genuine, but rather a reflection of "haha, you think I'm submitting to you but really I'm _______"? *shrug*

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I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

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The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:08:31 PM

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quote:

I couldn't make sense of the comment and was curious about it. That's all.

It is as perplexing as you asking. Sorry. I don't understand the smiling thing. But, I didn't need to ask why people do it, I just kinda knew.

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It hurts.....that you call me a masochist

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:08:40 PM

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I like to have a good time. I'm a Sadist. The grins often says "I am going to really put the boots to you, and this is going to be all about suffering-and I am going to get off on it."

What's not to smile about? If she smiles too-it just means I have connected with an animal every bit as depraved as I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

I look too much like a shark when I smile-it frightens small children.

nothin' wrong with an evil creep smile Smut,

it is the clowns that smile like John Wayne Gacey and act like the nice guy smiles that you gotta worry about.

At least an evil smile/grin...is honest.

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to came4U)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:12:16 PM

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quote:

What's not to smile about? If she smiles too-it just means I have connected with an animal every bit as depraved as I am.

I just don't get the sadist pleasing a masochist scenerio. What good really is a masochist to a sadist? (a genuine sadist, that is, not just a play/pretend one)?

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It hurts.....that you call me a masochist

(in reply to Smutmonger)

RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:13:20 PM

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Deosn't mean she is going to be smiling DURING.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

What's not to smile about? If she smiles too-it just means I have connected with an animal every bit as depraved as I am.

I just don't get the sadist pleasing a masochist scenerio. What good really is a masochist to a sadist? (a genuine sadist, that is, not just a play/pretend one)?

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to came4U)

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