RE: BDSM and abuse

RE: BDSM and abuse (Full Version)

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Myrryr -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/22/2010 3:53:51 PM)
Hmm, I'm not sure of the exact connections between my abuse (physical and mental, no sexual thankfully) and my own kinks, but I'm well aware that they are connected, and I know some of them. I know I wish to submit to one in an extremely trusting relationship because I've never had one other than a very small amount of good friends (3 actually) 1 of whom I would very much love to submit too, the other two being male.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/22/2010 6:06:41 PM)
My therapist once asked me if I thought I'd be into what I am into now, if I had not been abused back as a child, and I told her I don't know, there's no way to know unless I could have two childhoods, one as a not abused child and one as an abused one and see how the two turned out as adults, and then compare notes lol. quote: ORIGINAL: itsmeinLV Hm, speaking strictly about myself, I wasn't abused, per se. At the time I was growing up, corporal punishment wasn't a big thing, everybody I knew growing up at that time was punished almost the same way or another, and it wasn't considered "abuse" but I know that maybe, just maybe, that is why I like spankings so much? Why the question mark? Because I can't self-analyze myself 100% accurately, haha! [:D]

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/22/2010 6:20:57 PM)
Some could say you're now a nudist because you're seeking an opposite spectrum of what it was like at home, or it's a way to rebel, or anything they want really. quote: ORIGINAL: sm8591 Another point was that nudity was stricktly forbidden at home and I became a nudist anyway. If there is an explanation in that for my lifestyle, I don't know?

lally2 -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/23/2010 6:15:00 PM)
sorry, late to the thread. im certain my wires were kinked from childhood, i wouldnt say it was abusive, just i was brought up to be very submissive to the authority of my dad. he left when i was about 11 and ive needed that authority ever since, even missed it, though i had the usual rebellion and went a bit wild after he went. for me no question.

jin99 -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/25/2010 9:14:45 PM)
I don't know if bdsm people are more likely to have suffered sexual abuse in the past. Judging from this thread, it isn't. But I can say with confidence that the other way around is true; a few friends who have trust me enough to confide in me, who had suffered extremely traumatic sexual assault, said there abuse became a source for arousal even though they hated it and are addicted to degrading, humiliating sex. Something to keep in mind, and tread lightly around those who might've been hurt might be a good policy. Just my 2 cents worth.

scorpionking1000 -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/27/2010 6:56:12 AM)
No I did not get into the life style because I suffered abuse or I wanted to abuse any one. But for me it is a symptom of wider problem within the life style. I have done a lot of study on this subject and what became obvious was that the lack of knowledge. What I think happens is that many who are new to the lifestyle do not learn and read enough about the lifestyle and further they find it hard to be open about it and talk to their friends. This lack of knowledge then often leads to them being abused by some who are in the lifestyle for the wrong reason. If one is not well they should seek help and not turn to BDSM and think that is some sort of magical cure. Having said that I guess we might have some experience at a younger age that might make us want to explore BDSM more in detail at a later stage in our life. So for me there is no direct link between abuse and BDSM.

Ravensnake -> RE: BDSM and abuse (4/27/2010 7:26:23 AM)
Gentle, weak guys dont do it for me, never have. What I seek in a partner is sexual dominance; guys who take what they want sexually as opposed to asking for it. I respond to strong dominant guys. My profile suggests that what I seek is abuse and in many respects it is but with one proviso...its all consensual. And the link to my past? Quite possibly down to a strict boarding school background and being raped in a sleazy hotel room when I was 19.

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