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Rule -> RE: else notice hoiw many slaves are not listed for sale with the master (4/7/2010 3:46:22 PM)
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Count yourself lucky, Opening Poster. I got ripped off four times, presumably by the same person, for fifteen hundred euro's and twenty-one cents each time. (I have no idea how much that is in dollars.)
The first time I bought a slave that could catch rabbits. It was an excellent buy, I thought, for at four euro's a rabbit, it would earn its cost back in slightly more than a year. That damn slave brought home only three rabbits - the rest of them got wise to him and made themselves scarce when he was around. Yes: HIM! I had thought that I had bought a female slave. So I was ripped off twice. I am no homosexual. Even worse: the damn good for nothing slave had some kind of speech impediment and could not hold a decent conversation. All he did was bark - and then the fourth day he ran off and I never saw him again, so I could not go and demand a refund or replacement.
The second time I bought a large slavegirl that could do errants quickly. I tried to mount her as soon as I had her alone, but it did not work out. She was unwilling to be mounted and disparaged my small size. So I put a note and some money in her mouth and told her to get me some milk and to make sure that she got back her change from the dairy. She gave an angry back kick against my front door and I never saw her again. Perchance she could not find the dairy. I got ripped off, I tell you, for when I went to examine the damage to my door, I found a hoof print on that door. I had not been sold a slavegirl, but a horse! Unfortunately, for lack of the runaway horse, I could not go and claim a refund.
The third time I bought a slavegirl I made sure that she did not have four legs and that she had no speech impediment. She was a feisty pecker with a sharp tongue. When I wanted to copulate with her, she started calling me such names that the paint fell down from the ceiling and the bed fell down. I desisted and went to get some earplugs so I could copulate with her undisturbed by that harpy's namecalling. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to lock her up in her cage when I went for the earplugs and when I got back to the bedroom she had flown out of the opened window. The only thing left on the floor was a parrot feather and it was when I found that feather that I realized that I had been ripped off again. Unfortunately, for lack of the flownaway parrot I could not go and claim a refund.
The fourth time I bought a slavegirl, I went for the exotic and bought a mermaid slavegirl. She was fairly large at nearly six foot long and rather cold to the touch as she was a coldblooded species. I tried to make love to her in the bath tub, but she was not much interested in having sex, being true to her coldblooded nature. In an attempt to get her to be more amenable, I decided to try to get her hot by pouring buckets of warm water in my tub. Unfortunately, being myopic, I inadvertently fell against the tub, pushed it over and the flood of water carried my slavegirl downstairs, out into the garden and across the garden into the canal. I never saw her again. The only thing that stayed behind was a large scale in the tub. I sent it away for a taxonomic investigation and was later informed that it was a sturgeon scale. I had been ripped off again. Unfortunately, for lack of the sturgeon I could not go and claim a refund.
I am telling you: the person or persons who sold me those four slavegirls were taking advantage of my myopia. So count yourself lucky that you are not myopic and that you lost only the fifteen hundred dollars.
As for me: I am giving up on buying slavegirls. Instead I am going to raise unicorns. I just got a good offer of a pregnant one.
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