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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/17/2010 3:15:39 PM

ncbabe

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I find it interesting that most people view breaking a sub as being a negative thing. To me it simply means identifying and breaking down all the parts that make up the sub, weeding out the negative traits, focusing on the positive ones, and gradually building it all back together again to make a happier and healthier sub. This is what happened to me, anyway. Perhaps I am not understanding it correctly.

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/17/2010 3:27:48 PM

CaringandReal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

I find it interesting that most people view breaking a sub as being a negative thing. To me it simply means identifying and breaking down all the parts that make up the sub, weeding out the negative traits, focusing on the positive ones, and gradually building it all back together again to make a happier and healthier sub. This is what happened to me, anyway. Perhaps I am not understanding it correctly.

Agree, breaking isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think people imagine things about it and frighten themselves with their imaginings. But. as we all know (or should know)... realities differ.

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"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/17/2010 3:38:56 PM

Andalusite

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I didn't want a Master who would break me by shattering me like fine china. I wanted one who would break me like a horse - teaching me to respond to his slightest whim and cue. Like a lot of people have said, anyone can be torn apart with enough pressure, but if they care about you, that wouldn't happen in the first place.

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/18/2010 3:09:49 AM

unbridledchattel

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thank Y/you for all the thought provoking responses ..... I should add that while He calls Himself "Master", He has a sadists attitude .... W/we had
talked for many long hours regarding s/m so nothing was a surprise ... W/we did have one meeting ... extremely intense as it was more pain than imagined ... W/we never seemed to "click" after that .... one of those situations where this one believes the chemistry that was not there between U/us affected/effected the outcome and since this one never "gave in" 100% of her mind to Him then He felt this one was unbreakable ?? (do hope this is being said correctly enough)

the statement "being kicked to the curb" was used only for a lack of another statement .... this one felt the message from Him was clear .... He was more of a Sadist than a Master in this one's eyes .... hence, the natural instinct of self-preservation was always present and that is what He could not break ?!?!?!?!

this one knows she's a submissive for her whole life .... no doubt about that ... what this one was seeking was to learn about erotic pain .... after three years of talking the subject to death it was never meant to be ....

this one is okay with the entire situation and all the scenarios all of Y/you have mentioned .... could have turned out bad and ugly but did not .... this one has a healthy outlook and is not letting this experience destroy her or keep her from seeking what she desires ....

again .... many thanks ....

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/18/2010 3:22:53 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

I find it interesting that most people view breaking a sub as being a negative thing. To me it simply means identifying and breaking down all the parts that make up the sub, weeding out the negative traits, focusing on the positive ones, and gradually building it all back together again to make a happier and healthier sub. This is what happened to me, anyway. Perhaps I am not understanding it correctly.

I don't think you're understanding it incorrectly, just differently!

When I read the term "breaking a sub" it means (to me) leaving them with nothing and starting from scratch, your more positive definition is a positive one, which isn't that far from my idea of "nurturing".

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/18/2010 3:30:30 AM

unbridledchattel

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crazyml .... nurturing .... that is it exactly .... which was severly lacking and from what this one has read in this thread thus far .....

now off to bed with thee ... sleep calls

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"Do not meddle in the affair of dragons ....
for thou art crunchy and go good with ketchup."

(nom nom nom nom)

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/18/2010 5:41:21 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: unbridledchattel
W/we did have one meeting ... extremely intense as it was more pain than imagined ... W/we never seemed to "click" after that ....

He conquered, he came, he lost interest. I suspect that he only wanted a play session, and he got it and left afterward.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/18/2010 7:22:02 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: unbridledchattel
W/we did have one meeting ... extremely intense as it was more pain than imagined ... W/we never seemed to "click" after that ....

He conquered, he came, he lost interest. I suspect that he only wanted a play session, and he got it and left afterward.

Well, either that or..

He came, he failed to conquer, he blamed his failure on her and retreated to sulk.

I have to admit, I am always amused by self-proclaimed "masters" who blame failures on the sub. I remain adamantly in the "buck stops here" school of leadership.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: mentally unbreakable sub/slave - 4/18/2010 11:47:15 AM

Andalusite

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chattel, if anything, when I was looking, I was more cautious about self-identified Dominants and Masters than I was of men who primarily viewed themselves as sadists. They were far more likely to have what I felt were unreasonable expectations of me, or a "one foot out the door"/"one strike" attitude. It sounds like you weren't compatible, or he is one of those people who is more interested in the chase and less focused on what to do with a submissive once he's got her.

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Post #: 29