Controlling your sub

Controlling your sub (Full Version)

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Steponme73 -> Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 12:18:30 PM)
I read the profiles of dominant women who are on CM, and it seems to me that they seem to feel that they have to use vulgarity to get their point across. Do you find in necessary to use vulgar language to control? I have a hard time understanding why that would be necessary. You can humilate and degrade a slave without vulgarity. I find it much more exciting with out the "f word". Any thoughts?

Venatrix -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 12:38:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Steponme73 Do you find in necessary to use vulgar language to control? Absolutely fucking not. All joking aside, I've no interest in humiliating or degrading the men in my life. If you're part of my life, it's because I think you're pretty special. I don't have time to waste on those who aren't.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 12:44:04 PM)
I've read the profiles of dominant women who are regular posters to the boards and very few of them contain profanity. Did it ever occur to you that you're looking at a very small cross-section that is not representative of the total population? In any case, I use profanity when it suits me. If I feel like dropping an f-bomb, I will. If I feel it's necessary to make a point or just to make me feel better while I'm venting, then it's necessary. If I feel it's necessary because I like the reaction I get from it, then it's definitely necessary. It has nothing to do with needing to use profanity to control a sub and everything to do with satisfying myself. In other words, as with most other D/s scenarios, it's not about "you" (the sub) it's about Me.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:02:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix quote: ORIGINAL: Steponme73 Do you find in necessary to use vulgar language to control? Absolutely fucking not. All joking aside, I've no interest in humiliating or degrading the men in my life. If you're part of my life, it's because I think you're pretty special. I don't have time to waste on those who aren't. Awww Ven and I was hoping you would take me on and swear at me a lot.......oh well, another kink killed for lack of being fulfilled. Back to the drawing board.

LadyPact -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:04:45 PM)
I'm looking at this in two different ways...... On My profile, I don't have it. That doesn't mean to say that I don't use it when speaking. On the other hand, during play, I absolutely will use more colorful language due to the atmosphere that I am trying to create: "I'm going to fuck you because you belong to Me and that's what I do with My property." "What a good lil slut. You want to be fucked, don't you?" You get the idea.

Venatrix -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:05:10 PM)
Stupid cunt. (Sheesh. The things I do to make people happy.)

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:08:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix Stupid cunt. (Sheesh. The things I do to make people happy.) Does that make Zephy a do-me?

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:13:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix Stupid cunt. (Sheesh. The things I do to make people happy.) wipes a tear Thank you Ven, I greatly appreciate it. VC it makes me a do-me slave which is a rare cousin to the do-me sub. Errr to clarify that means I love it when Master "does" me.

Venatrix -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:20:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth wipes a tear Thank you Ven, I greatly appreciate it. Don't mention it. I'm always happy to swear at a friend.

SweetDommes -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:23:26 PM)
I don't think there is much (if any) cussing in the profile. I try to keep my foul language to a minimum ... but working in a prison makes it difficult. Like LP said, though, sometimes it just sets a tone that is fun.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:28:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth wipes a tear Thank you Ven, I greatly appreciate it. Don't mention it. I'm always happy to swear at a friend. I'll repay the favor any time, you can count on me.....friend. wipes another tear and goes to look for a tissue

Steponme73 -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 1:41:04 PM)
Thanks Ven...you always know the right things to say!

Lockit -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 2:30:14 PM)
I think out of most the domina's that post around here, I have the foulest language. lol And my first sentence on my profile says... Do not call me goddess until you see lightening coming from my fingertips and striking you on your sorry ass. Or something like that. Do I need to curse to keep a submissive in control? No. Typically when dealing with a relationship issue, I am not cussing. I may be teaching, instructing or working something out. I would say that if I am not cussing when speaking to someone... that would be the most important time to pay attention because I am not playing, I am so serious, you might get a heartache out of the deal, if you don't. (Not to mean I cuss all the time when I speak, but I do a lot of the time.) I can cuss when I am mad, but if I am that mad, you are already half the way out that door. I get mad when someone pushes me so much that I do get mad and then I am angrier with them because I don't like to get mad. I curse for many reasons and it is just a part of who I am and where I come from and I see no need to change it. I look at it this way... I could stop cursing, but someone having a problem with me because I cuss, wouldn't make it a week in my life. I am not a lady-like woman all the time. If someone needs me to be, then I am not the dominant woman for them. If not the cursing, it will be something else that turns them off their expectations of what a woman or dominant is. I am comfortable in my own skin and need a submissive to be comfortable with me being who I am. I can be in a board meeting, making a speech, a church, a bar, or anywhere and act according to that place and people, but anyone telling me how to act or expecting me to act a certain way, won't work well with me. In play, you can bet somebodies sweet tail end I am going to curse. Not to humiliate them, but to enhance our fun. Even curse words can be nice words.

Andalusite -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 3:43:43 PM)
The strongest cuss words I usually use are heck and sheesh, and maybe bitch once in a rare while.[;)] Some people enjoy verbal humiliation, such as slut, fuckmeat, etc. - I consider that to be different from cussing about something. When I have felt the need to insult someone, I can do it pretty effectively without foul language. I do think it would be amusing to use Shakespearean insults or some such during a scene, though.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 4:41:20 PM)
I think that someone that needs to use vulgarity in order to hope to control someone has absolutely no clue what she (or he) is doing. The odd vulgar word has impact in the grand scheme of things, but in general, I try to avoid them. Besides, there are so many more powerful words and in the end, it's all in the tone. - LA

slvemike4u -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 5:48:46 PM)
Fuckin A,....Lady Angelika......fuckin a !!!!!!!

DesFIP -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 5:51:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite The strongest cuss words I usually use are heck and sheesh, and maybe bitch once in a rare while.[;)] Some people enjoy verbal humiliation, such as slut, fuckmeat, etc. - I consider that to be different from cussing about something. When I have felt the need to insult someone, I can do it pretty effectively without foul language. I do think it would be amusing to use Shakespearean insults or some such during a scene, though. "That's a good drab" Just doesn't seem to do it for me.

Andalusite -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 6:12:19 PM)
Thou impertinent rampallian wench! I meant something more like this. [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: Antony and Cleopatra by William Shakespeare Hence, horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 7:07:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u Fuckin A,....Lady Angelika......fuckin a !!!!!!! And when men get vulgar, I get the gag ball! - LA

slvemike4u -> RE: Controlling your sub (4/17/2010 7:55:58 PM)
eh...isn't that ball gag ?

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