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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 1:59:19 AM   
cmatrix4761


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Joined: 6/28/2005
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I am a strong advocate of the multiple facet theory.  We all have our own demons to tackle (psychologically, that is); some only have a few very strong demons, others have many small ones, but we all have them.  Perhaps it would be better to say that these demons are facets of our personality that we have to satisfy.  Dominants have mostly demons which drive them to be dominant; there may be many reasons for it, there may only be a few.  Same with subs.
Switches, on the other hand, have a relatively even spread of these 'demons' which cause them to have changing facets to satisfy.  I would even dare to say that switches are far more complex because they are so much more likely to have many demons. 
Take me, for example.  I have inert needs to satisfy on both ends of the control spectrum.  For one, I've had a very hard life, and therefore I have a strong need to feel in control.  On the other hand, I've spent so much time and effort taking control of my life without the aid of anyone else that I also have a need to let things go and be controlled.  I submit that it is similar for most switches.

-- CM, "Nosce te ipsum"

(in reply to bbbadbbboy)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 2:56:34 AM   
theladysamantha


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    They exist -- for the same reason that Calico Cats do exist and because they exist as Female, some as Male -- here goes the answer:

It starts with SEX, both the verb and the noun becuase it comes down to the X and the Y chormosones that indicate sex of an animal.  Basically if an animal ends up with an X Y chromosone link up in a specific pair it will be male, an XX, female -- and the chromosones look like and X and a Y...the Y has a little bar missing ...called the Bar Body...and that missing Bar Body is the difference between a Male & a Female being created.

On a Calico Cat -- that little Bar Body on the female contains the element that makes the cat have the Calico gene and it matches up to a Bar Body on the other Female X bar Body that also has the Calico gene and all sorts of various permutations and combinations of delcious colors on Calicos appear.

Males?  Since the Calico trait is on the one Bar Body, it can't be reinforced.  Males that are Calico are sterile because they are XXY males.  The Y chromosone appears creating enough testosterone to make the outer trappings of a male cat, but the XX chromosone has the Calico trait.  They are otherwise able to live as it is not a  fatal trait.

Switches exist because Variation exists -- it is a part of our biological make-up genetically.  Just look at the next calico cat you see.  It's logical to see that Switch is merely another expression of  the variation of our animal nature.

in my humble opinion of course ;)

Sam



(in reply to enthralled)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 4:44:23 AM   
RubberWitch


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OK, answers I've personally given on seperate occasions

Because we're greedy. we want to have our cake and eat it, because... Whats the point of having a cake and not eating it? I mean topping is fun, subbing is fun, why can't we enjoy both huh? Huh? HUH?!?! Now, be a sweety and get me another coffee


Sexuality is defined by what you don't like. Its like a line. If you push down on one end, for example labeled dominant, then you are saying I don't like the responsibilities of power. It looks like the other end goes up, so we say "I like being submissive". If you push down on the other end, you are saying "I don't like to lose control", and we say you are dominant.
You push down in the middle, saying I don't like mediocrity, both ends go up. We say. Oh, your one of those people who just likes being kinky, and then navel gazing about it on collarme.

In any situation where you create a structure of binary opposites, there will be examples that show characteristics of both extremes. See also manic depression, androgynes, the SDLP, and greenday.

J

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 5:12:18 AM   
flowered


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I think we all have a bit of both Dom and sub in us- just in diferent amounts depending on person. Many Doms say they are "all Dom" but don't they like to be occasionally taken care of as well? Come home after a bad day and have their slave/pet/sub take care of all their needs, make them feel back in control?

I am very subbmissive in relationships, but I am many faceted, and probably a bit sadistic as well- I just don't have much and so my submissive side batters down that part.

I personally think switches are just the ones who are able to accept both sides of their life, and don't feel the need to be "one or the other"




lotsa love and laughs
flowered

_____________________________

I love life.
I love to laugh.
I love to be loved.

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 5:13:44 AM   
flowered


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Oh, and they exist because they are just so much fun!.....kinda like bi-guys.
*impish smile*

_____________________________

I love life.
I love to laugh.
I love to be loved.

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 5:20:48 AM   
bignipples2share


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They are flat, like a slate floor, or counter, they've become one sided. Only the surface that is exposed is used. Switches are like diamonds, they are set on prongs, not a flat surface, so that all their facets shine.




ahhhhh I see sounds

(in reply to flowered)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 5:46:43 AM   
MstrssSatin


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Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
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I agree that most people have some level of dom/me and sub tendencies. To be constantly in the same mode is not only tiresome but not easy to maintain. To let another person take the lead on occasion can be refreshing. For example I know a Dom male, who has slaves and is very active in the BDSM community as a Dom and practically oozes dominant behavior,  but whenever he is around Me he becomes submissive and a bit nervous. Is he a switch? I don't think so. I think he just takes the opportunity to Not be in control even if it is just for a little while.

Mistress Satin   

(in reply to bignipples2share)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 6:38:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Let's not go confusing one's behavior/personality/particular attitude with one's orientation.

A dominant is simply in reference within their intimate personal relationship.  It doesn't matter how "dominant" they act or express themselves in any other situation- if their sub obeys their authority, that's what matters.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/12/2006 2:32:41 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flowered
I think we all have a bit of both Dom and sub in us- just in diferent amounts depending on person. Many Doms say they are "all Dom" but don't they like to be occasionally taken care of as well? Come home after a bad day and have their slave/pet/sub take care of all their needs, make them feel back in control?

I am very subbmissive in relationships, but I am many faceted, and probably a bit sadistic as well- I just don't have much and so my submissive side batters down that part.

I personally think switches are just the ones who are able to accept both sides of their life, and don't feel the need to be "one or the other"
lotsa love and laughs
flowered

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssSatin
I agree that most people have some level of dom/me and sub tendencies. To be constantly in the same mode is not only tiresome but not easy to maintain. To let another person take the lead on occasion can be refreshing. For example I know a Dom male, who has slaves and is very active in the BDSM community as a Dom and practically oozes dominant behavior,  but whenever he is around Me he becomes submissive and a bit nervous. Is he a switch? I don't think so. I think he just takes the opportunity to Not be in control even if it is just for a little while.

Mistress Satin   

Late last night I had a post all prepared and sent, only to have my computer crash and the message lost.  I was too tired to rewrite. The above posts express what I attempted to say far more eloquently.

Me I'm about 10/90.  Self identified switches are closer to 50/50.

(in reply to MstrssSatin)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/17/2006 8:34:06 AM   
CrappyDom


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From: Sacramento
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Take any given Dominant and stick them in a room with 100 submissives, some will get all squishy, sensing his power and some will get bored wondering what the big deal is.  Just like I am straight and love women, but I don't get hard looking at every women, we react to something we see in another person.

I am a Dom through and through but have an inner observer developed enough that I can recognize when I get "squishy" when in the presence of an especially intelligence, experienced, and incightful female Dom.  It has only happened a few times and since I am in SF I get to meet some pretty amazing people.  It isn't strong enough to act on but I recognize it.

Switches aren't on the polar ends of the bell curve and have stronger reactions to both submissives and Dominants and act on them, unlike the rest of us.  Either that or they are just greedy sluts and just want it all....

YMMV

(in reply to TeeGO)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/17/2006 1:39:23 PM   
LadyMoonAngel


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Being a switch I know they exist.... I  was in a D/s realtionship for 5 years as a sub.  for the past  2 years I  ahve  gone into what I call switch mode.   For me after awhile I  liked the fact that I could still submit to a Dom  but  still have the ability to play on others the way I liked to be played on.   It is the best of  both worlds in my  eyes.. sort of the middle ground!

(in reply to bbbadbbboy)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/17/2006 3:10:05 PM   
Dustyn


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Opposite ends of the bell curve?  Interesting way of putting it, or at least original in my eyes.

Instead of being greedy or anything like that, could it be that switches are just more maliable and flexible in their relationships, in terms of bd/sm of course, than people that define themselves as one or the other?

Kind of like filling the role that is needed and finding fulfillment regardless of the role?

Or I could be way off base here... opinions?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to CrappyDom)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/17/2006 8:50:12 PM   
JoJo2Mojo


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Joined: 4/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Take any given Dominant and stick them in a room with 100 submissives, some will get all squishy, sensing his power and some will get bored wondering what the big deal is.  Just like I am straight and love women, but I don't get hard looking at every women, we react to something we see in another person.

I am a Dom through and through but have an inner observer developed enough that I can recognize when I get "squishy" when in the presence of an especially intelligence, experienced, and incightful female Dom.  It has only happened a few times and since I am in SF I get to meet some pretty amazing people.  It isn't strong enough to act on but I recognize it.

Switches aren't on the polar ends of the bell curve and have stronger reactions to both submissives and Dominants and act on them, unlike the rest of us.  Either that or they are just greedy sluts and just want it all....

YMMV























































































































































































































I like you, Crappy.

I don't really like the title "switch" because of the negative connotations that go with it but it is the closest word to describe the mode that I am in.  We "switches" tend to not be as flippant as many would believe.  For example, I am more into being in control these days but a few months ago, I wanted to be spanked silly!  It depends on the partner we have settled down with.  Some are so good at making you creamy that submitting comes naturally.  Others seem to melt into submission with your every word making you more dominant.  ---  I met a man the other day, online, who was so extreme in his dominance.  He wrote me a note this morning saying that he felt all warm and fuzzy with me and seemed to be frustrated.  
We are well balanced people.  We go with the flow of what our partners like and what turns us on.  I am much more of a domme right now but with the right guy, I would kneel! 



_____________________________

"Just shut up and enjoy the ride."

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/19/2006 5:43:56 AM   
topsytervy


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I feel they exist as they can think up things to do with a submissive; punishment, fun, etc, and get enjoyment from doing it,
but also get enjoyment, and greater understanding, from actually having it done to them...
how can you expwect a sub to endure something the Top can't?

(in reply to bbbadbbboy)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/20/2006 9:47:46 PM   
Moleculor


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Joined: 5/23/2004
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Because it's the strictly-dom and strictly-sub people that are the true anomolies. The question should be "Why do -they- exist? Why don't they switch?" I'd be wililng to bet five bucks there are FAR more switches in the world than there are 'twue dominants' and 'twue submissives'. It's just that for many of those switches, they're either -also- comfortable with vanilla and/or their brand of kink is mild enough that they don't need to rally 'round a 'community'. 

_____________________________

</sarcasm>

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/20/2006 9:58:22 PM   
thegirlincharge


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I characterize myself as switch mostly because there are areas of my life in which I prefer to dominate and areas of my life in which I prefer to submit. but, i have also noticed that my "moods" (for lack of a better words) switch around depending on factors. Certain relationships can bring out the Domme or the sub in me more. Or merely urges at any given time. I do not feel all over the place...it just feels right to me. I just listen to myself.

(in reply to cmatrix4761)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/22/2006 7:25:26 AM   
Clothespingirl


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Switches exist so I have somebody to ask me to play at parties, just when I think all the men are subs.    God bless 'em!



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"Cheeky bitch"

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/22/2006 2:10:24 PM   
UrbanFetish


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Truthfully it can be a natural state in my opinion. Ofetn many believe that it takes MORE to be DOMINANT than submissive. A belief that I have always refuted. Being a switch (and a limited one at that) I enjoy surrendering/worshipping a sexy lady as a form of adoration, tribute, even honor. A way of giving her pleasure to show my attraction, express my willingness to be hers/serve her and overwhelm such a lady with obediance wrapped in a powerful muscular shell. As a DOMINANT I enjoy controlling the pleasure and dolling out of teasing aspects that serves to entice, draw out and (in a higher mentality) enslave my female playmate to my whim. Not just out of giving herself to me, but WANTING to do so craving the loss of control; desiring the intense feelings and needing to be taken in such a way that shame and fear gives way to intense arousal and longing to be used. (I am a pleasure DOMINANT myself...)

Hence for me being a switch allows me to absorb and assimilate two poles into a mutually satisfying arena that is flexible, laden with more fetishistic opportunity and broader in learning scope than ever before. I truly believe I read my (sub) playmate(s) better as I know what longing to serve/surrender/worship feel like. Hence it seems easier to NOT ONLY recognize in others, but better catered to our mutual gratification and satisfaction.

_____________________________

Work hard, PLAY HARDER...

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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 4/22/2006 2:30:20 PM   
subjected2006


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I am not sure..but I tried switching..tried topping my long time vanilla (under  the direction from Master) and it literally made me ill.
Yet in the past (before Master woke me up) I have seduced and totally taken charge in sexual relationships and never thought
twice about doing it,and enjoyed it even if it was in a different sense..more of a pride that I got the job done kinda way.(does that make sense to anyone?)
I think if I was sexually attracted to a woman I would have to be the Top.Yet I am a submissive.
I will find out this summer.
I am not really sure what you are asking here..not sure how to answer ..but why does butter pecan icecream come in low carb?
And how can there be no carbs in rum and diet coke?
Just asking.

(in reply to UrbanFetish)
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RE: WHY do switches exist? - 5/3/2006 11:27:39 PM   
guarddawg


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can one imagine how boring a party would be if there were no switrches? just Doms and subs?
Switches were created to bring life and pleasure and a large dash of insanity to those parties.

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 40
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