zenditz
Posts: 13
Joined: 6/2/2005 Status: offline
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Hello, my name is katie. i am a submissive and have had all of my D/s relationships result from real life meetings, munches, and just like finding Him. my last Dom was without any doubt amazing, but sadly due to my now disabiling physical handicap, i'm like looking online to meet my next Dom. And well my experiences have been less than ideal. i'm asking one main question. i've spent much of my life ashamed of my past, myself, and just like me being a submissive at heart. but i've grown to learn to accept myself and embrace aspects of myself i used to run from. Like most of this, at least when it comes to like my submissive personality, was helped by my last Dom, and my current therapist. i like can't go into what happened that ended my last 24/7 D/s relationship, but it was painful, for both of U/us, but had nothing to do with me like not being submissive enough or not... it was like very much connected to my handicap, not that He got rid of me like because of it, but for other like reasons, ones that are like to emotional for me to like go into again today. what i'm like wonderring though is, like, well my last Dom not only encouraged my submissiveness, but also my independance and my own knowledge of myself. Growth which He helped me with in ways i like couldn't describe in like a million years. But like since i've like started looking online, to like move forward, now that i like feel it's ready. Well i'm wonderring if maybe i'm either just meeting a lot of fake Dom's, or if i'm not exactly what most real life Dom's look for in their submissive. i am very submissive, and it's like so totally just part of who i am, like to my very soul, but i also like who i am, and cherish what makes me like me. and most, like almost all, Doms i've like been contacted by online... well they seem to desire a submissive who is like totally submissive and like reliant on them to like make all of their desicions... and i'm not like that, and i'm not like looking for that. So i guess i'm wonderring if i'm looking in the right place... and if looking for a Dom is right for me. i like totally know i need to be submissive, and i need a caring Dominate, but am i like being realist to feel that like i can find one, especially has like hard core most online Doms seem to like come across? i like hope that makes sence, katie
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