acctonthelook
Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I think the difference though here kyra is the I doubt your Lord would EVER have written an email or an IIM like that to you early on--I may be wrong---but I don't see it, that's what I see as the difference---it made acctonthelook uncomfortable--uncomfortable that it isn't something she may want--and uncomfortable in knowing how to weed out the "loving sadists" from the abusers lurking---once trust is established, one begins to relax and start to let go.
but that's only My perception--
quote:
ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
As for what the OP stated, I don’t see a problem with the fantasy or with the dominant getting pleasure from it. What was written is a little mild by my current standards, but as fantasies go it isn’t all that out there. I don’t even see a problem with her being uncomfortable and him wanting to make her uncomfortable. Better to know if they are not compatible in that regard. What isn’t clear from what she wrote is if there was any informed consent on her part to hear this fantasy and to be pushed a little by this person. If consent was absent then this exchange was inappropriate; if consent was given then there is nothing wrong with what happened.
Yes MHOO & Kyra,
It has or did make me VERY uncomfortable and is the reason for my OP. I don't want to be ruled by fear. I also don't ever want to put myself into a situation b/c I was niave.
I'm sure on some level I enjoy parts of sadism that would be fine with me (like Obis mentioned with his sub) and allow me my limits. I do find many things to be fasinating and I would love a Dom who could bring me further but slowly. I'm not totally disinterested. There may be things on my ok list w/ no limits that are considered part of Sadism (but how would I know what acts fall under what catagories). I need to have the time to research Castle Realm and other sites to learn more about it also.
However, I did not ask nor did I request his fantasy. It happened within maybe 20 minutes of IMing one another. I understand what everyone is saying to be aware of dangerous people, keep in mind of ethical and consentual, keep in mind that not all Sadist are "harmful":
quote:
Simply put by Shadows:
"I want to hurt you, not harm you."
For me, hurt is "Fuck, that stings!"
For me, harm is "Someone call 911!"
With everyone's posts, I can see my comfort level changing. I like the simplicity of Shadows post and Obis & Knight stating to have concentual. MHOO is sticking up for me like my big sister and Kyra is pushing me to think harder and be more fluid about it. I understand each of you, (all who posted) are trying to help me see it from all sides. I have appreciated it more than you know. You all have helped me in one way or another.
When I go through my thinking, I try and ask myself what is that I like, want, fear, disagree w/ morally, etc. Slowly and knowing that someday I will find a Dom that will 'kindly' guide me on that path. That's what he's suppose to do. And I want to be a willing sub, willing to push the boundaries a little at a time, not in the 1st 20 minutes of IMing.
So with MHOO & Kyra and all the Dom/ Sadist males stating that it was not appropriate in some fashion, makes me feel ok, safer, clearer on my fears and where they actually are.
I feel more comfortable and will remove the "I'm not interested in Sadists" (or just modify it to say more specifically) in my profile b/c I don't want to count anyone out.
(((((((((( Hugs!!!!!! )))))))) I'm kind of emotional now...Ty Everyone
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RE: Sadist's? Understanding Needed... - 
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