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kboii -> RE: Boys... Speak up and tell us what is it that you want!, Take 2 (5/23/2010 9:01:13 AM)
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i also don't care for cyber-drama, and was writing a response to this before there was even a post under it ( it takes me a while to be able to express what i think ), and just figured i'd leave it here for anyone. It's my first post on these forums, and i hope i stayed on topic!
What motivates you to be submissive?
Others.
There are so many people in the world that the chances of me meeting someone as unique as myself are very slim. Normally this kind of horn-tooting is reserved for the most hidden narcissistic pieces of myself, but this time it is not for me; it's for You.
Being around the Internet and delving into the scene has shown me a lot of people who just don't seem to be as deep into it as i am, or just seem to be in it for themselves. ( or they seem to be confused on the role They play )
I'm not in this for my happiness. Well, i am, but no.
i am in this so that i may bring others happiness, and feel completed by doing so. That is what makes me smile, and fills my heart.
So what really motivates me to be submissive is the people who genuinely seek that kind of companionship out.
People looking for a sub to spoil, punish, and to love.
Why do you identify yourself that way?
Even before i found my role in the D/s world, my personality is equally submissive without my conscious being aware of it ( though now it is ).
To site a few examples:
1)Formal. Always showing respect
2)Courteous. Always jumping to a task, or willing to assist
3)Devoted. Not afraid of manual labor, always finishes tasks with a smile
4)Driven. When i know the outcome is merit in myself, i strive till the end
5)Willing. There are about no limits when it comes to what i will do for You.
Following these principles i got drafted into being a Lifestyle sub for a former Master, and fell in love with my role as a submissive. There was not enough that i could do for Per, and i have never known a better bliss than when we were together.
That is not to say that i have not had a good share in the D/s world on the D side of things. That was prolly the turning point for me, actually.
Having sessions with participants it seemed that the further i went along - the more i wished to be in the reverse role. And the more sessions that i had looking for submissive's that were more like me created a bunch of holes in my thought process.
Then, during select sessions the quality of subs were starting to decrease, and i started thinking “if it were me”. After starting to think that way; the hunger to serve finally got the best of me and i found the role that makes me happiest.
What are you searching for in a Domme?
A mutual understanding.
Searching for someone who knows what they want, and can relay that beyond a reason of a doubt to their sub, knowing limitations and stretching them to the breaking point.
i am a creature of habit, and love a routine. It does not matter what it entails, if it will make You happy. However: If You are doing it just to do it, then that is not as much fun to either party.
Ultimately, i am looking for a Dom that will understand me, and my needs ( which include mostly just You ).
If You can truly master that, then i will conveniently lose myself in Your direction
What are the qualities and attributes that you look for in a Domme?
Qualities:
1)Commanding / Assertive
2)Loving / Compassionate
3)Understanding / Driven
Attributes ( although some remedial ):
1)Sweet, built, and tall
2)Dom Top, Mild Sadist
3)BDSM: Restraints, leatherwear etc.
What is the hardest part of being a male sub?
A hard question to answer, honestly.
The hardest part for me is finding a compatible partner.
i feel as if i am somehow different from the herd, and have developed standards that are difficult for most to reach. … yet at the same time i have also been so lonely and desperate that I've been with some people that i would never have in a hundred years, thinking there might be something under the exterior that hits the spot.
The sub role? I'd say finding someone who can differentiate between the situations.
If it's scene-play, then everything that is not related needs to be dropped immediately, and things do not necessarily need to linger past that.
In Lifestyle it's for the win. All day, everyday.
The hardest part of being a sub for me, is being alone.
What kind of challenges do you face when attempting to approach a Domme?
i am usually faced with the challenge of being able to relay all that i am, through the spoken word.
Its easy for me to start conversation;
Easy to say: “hey! I'm a sub!”
However it's not as easy to tell someone “i believe i am what You are looking for”
Other than that, its my appearance. 6'5”.
What are you biggest fears when meeting a Domme?
That all depends on the situation, really.
Out at the BDSM clubs:
i see You looking my direction, and i see the look in Your eyes. i see Your outfit, and i can feel my own mental arousal at the mere thoughts of You … but i don't know You, although i'd like to ;)
I'm not the type to meet someone and go “Oh sure! Lets go to Your place!” - as that is a fear.
A pre-arranged meeting:
A fear?
Knowing that there is a chance that You don't know what You say You do. Is it scary, or fearful?
Not really. More of a letdown.
What do you believe to be your best strengths and attributes? And do you feel they are often overlooked?
Strengths:
Complete Life-Style Submission
Scene-Play Submission
Memory
Devotion
Attributes:
Loyal
Honest
Devoted ( i know i already mentioned it )
Driven
Willing
They are overlooked on what seems to be a daily basis, ( i'm single, heh ), but when in a 'relationship' it seems that i am one of the favorites when the topic comes up, and have been told by many people:
“Don't change, Keith. There is someone out there that deserves you, as much as you deserve them.”
That decision i leave onto others, and continue to look for someone that i can share myself with.
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