RE: Past Intruding On the Present

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RE: Past Intruding On the Present - 5/28/2010 4:31:09 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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For some of us, anxiety attacks are not due to trauma. Neurobiological mood disorders have run in my family for the five generations we've been in this country. No information prior to emigration but I'm betting it went on for many generations prior.

So if it isn't trauma related and therefore talk therapy can't do much, and I'm not willing to live off of Xanax or Valium, does that mean I should be a hermit and never go to the grocery store for fear of one? No thanks. We all have issues when you get past 35 or so, whether it's a trick knee that aches badly before the rains come or an emotional problem.

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RE: Past Intruding On the Present - 6/1/2010 3:14:18 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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We've all got our shit. When you're in public, there are "accepted" ways to behave that get us through the day, or the party, or whatever. When emergencies happen, those rules can be set aside. Most of us work to avoid the things that cause emergencies.

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RE: Past Intruding On the Present - 6/2/2010 9:46:25 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
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I suffer from PTSD as well as a sever anxiety disorder not trauma related. I know my limits. I know my triggers and the people around me, in my circle are made aware of those things BEFORE hand.

Here is an example. I love going to the Crucible. Its someplace I enjoy, however; I do not do well around big crowds unless I am with someone I trust explicitly. Someone who I can look to as a buffer of sorts. And even then I often excuse myself to get some fresh air and regroup. Anyone who knows me knows I love pain. I love impact play. However, I make it very clear to those that in my circle of people I play with not to even bring a crop or cane near me. Don’t even pack it. People I play with respect those lines. If someone is playing with those things in a public setting I excuse myself and go to another area. I don’t make a scene. I don’t make a fuss. I just politely, quietly distract myself. I am not afraid of giving myself a mental or emotional time out if “I” need it.

If someone I was playing with didn’t respect my triggers and avoid them for my well being, I sure in the hell would not be playing with that person. I sure in the hell would not be involved with that person and I sure in the hell would not care what “the community” thought of him.

I don’t give a rats ass what other people who happen to be at a PUBLIC play area may think of me. No one is a harder on me, than me. Why would you care what a bunch of strangers at a fetish club, or any where else for that matter think of you UNLESS you know you are being inappropriate which is a whole other issue entirely.

The reality is the world around me doesn’t have to cater to my disorders or make adjustments for them. I have to find away to deal with them even if that means not playing in public that is MY responsibility.

I will also say that just because I have issues that I deal with does not excuse me from my bad behavior, what ever it may be. It is still my behavior. I still have to suffer the consequences.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 6/2/2010 9:53:31 AM >

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RE: Past Intruding On the Present - 6/2/2010 3:45:25 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I love my fears, phobias, and past trauma and turn-ons! They give me lots of play potential for most encounters. I do not see any of that as a bad thing. It is life and all life is a lesson. Scare me and I am wet. Make me nervous and I am turned on. Slap me and.. well.. you better be prepared to defend yourself, which for me is also a turn on, I love rough play. I don't see anything as a bad thing as long as everyone is aware that sometimes the unexpected happens. And when it does you deal with it in an appropriate manner. How? You speak up! Right then. Don't wait, hesitate, or worry that he will be offended because you needed to stop. In other words, he better be secure enough to buck up and listen.

I wouldn't even consider shielding me or my dominant party from any observer, lifestyle or not. I am not insecure about who I am, neither were any of my partners.

If people don't like what they see, tough.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
is what methods have worked well for you, as a submissive, to deal with such issues? How do you do your part to shield yourself and your dominant partner from judgement from observers, be it in a "lifestyle" setting or a "vanilla" one?
lovingpet

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RE: Past Intruding On the Present - 6/3/2010 2:36:23 AM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
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I'm more interested in someone who wants a collar than a strait jacket. Life's too short.

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Post #: 25