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"Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 7:41:06 AM

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Why is it that if I email someone and I'm only asking to get to know one another and start 'friend'ships does no one respond? Why is it that a friendship MUST include play or a relationship?

Is this normal or just happening for the moment? Do other people experience this? Have you ever met 'friends' and starting hanging out and have fun as just 'friends'?

I have tried contacting others in the area I am moving to because I want to be back home with my family. I also would like a connection within the bdsm community.

Why is trying to make friends so undesirable?

RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 7:59:11 AM

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Presumably it's simply not what people are here for. I'm not holding out any hope of making friends here myself to be honest.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:00:13 AM

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are you in Pompano or is this the area you are moving to?

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/9/2006 8:04:32 AM >

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:06:24 AM

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I am only looking for friendships, yet I find myself besieged by dominants who write me only wanting a relationship. I don't have the time nor energy to attend many functions, so my lifestyle friendships are limited to a very close few. I joined here hoping that I would learn more about how others live their lives in the context of their lifestyle. So far, that has not happened, but I have learned a great deal from participating on the boards.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:07:48 AM

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Email me, i`ll be a friend!!

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:14:21 AM

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For me, at the risk of hurting feelings, I only consider folks my friends who I actually meet face-to-face and do things with. Not everyone I do things with however is a friend; for me it's a deeper level of connection. It takes a good deal of time before I consider myself friends with anyone.

Now if someone emailed me and just wanted to chat and used the word "friend" I'd assume they use the term differently. However, in my experience this talking turns into personal and kinky questions really fast that appear to be more attempts to get jack off (or jill off) material.

There are a few people on here that I send email on the board to from time to time and they are in my "online buddy" category of how I define relationships. I also have several "online buddies" I've known for a few years via a creative writing RPG I belong to (called "The Palace of the Keys" if anyone is interested).

Maybe you just haven't found the right people to be friends with online yet. Try commenting on something you both are writing about in the forums..... that's how my online buddies here starting talking with me and me with them.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:15:39 AM

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acctonthelook--think of the internet and sites like this as a bin of mixed apples--you seek granny smiths, but they are indeed scattered among the other 200+ apple varieties---seek and you shall find--in the meantime, return them to the bin, relatively unbruised.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:31:55 AM

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everyone has their own view of what they consider a friend or friendship to be...as you can see...some will see them as those they meet in person...some will see them as those who are local to them...ect...the list goes on and on...

I consider anyone...be it someone I've met face to face...or just someone (like my very long time pen pal of 18 yrs who I never met) who I've something in common and we connect through mail or phone....

I'd be very limited in the world around me if I didn't open up to friendships through whatever medium that's available to me...the value placed on any friendship is your own...

don't know about anyone else..and really don't care...if you seek friends...contact me...you never know...we too may have something to contribute to each others lives....(smile)
even if that didn't answer your question and got off topic...

Fury

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:46:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
are you in Pompano or is this the area you are moving to?

I'm moving back to New England April 19th and hoping to connect with other ppl in the bdsm community there for friendships with no expectations otherwise. If more developed then it would happen naturally but I've been honest in my emails about the friendship part. I also comment on any forum posts if I've seen them around.

I don't understand why ppl in the community would not want to be friends. Like in the Gay/Lesbian community, they stand strong together (well for the most part, lol). I would love to have friends to hang out with who understand my lifestyle and not always have to hide during a conversation and laughter can sure be fun!

I'm moving North of Boston and for Boston being such a large city, I'm so surprized that their aren't more ppl online or profiles from the area. Also I have NO IDEA the best way to find Munches or Groups in the area and have yet to research Yahoo Bdsm Groups etc. I know they gotta be SOMEWHERE, LoL!!!

< Message edited by acctonthelook -- 4/9/2006 8:47:58 AM >

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:54:29 AM

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From: Moody, Texas
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When I am talking to someone from online, I perfer that the discussion NOT go towards BDSM at all; but then, I also meet all my play partners in person. Those whom I call friends, are also those whom I have known in real time also.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:55:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
However, in my experience this talking turns into personal and kinky questions really fast that appear to be more attempts to get jack off (or jill off) material.

Sorry this just made me laugh. After my weekend..... I needed that, thanks.

I have but two I can actually call friend. They're off line. But I KNOW alot of people. I prefer to not befriend to many people, "friends" have been known to turn on you when least expected. On line friendships are ok, but still makes me leary. And very much understand others being leary of me. Best to just not expect too much and then no reason to feel hurt when and if it all turns to BS.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:59:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

Why is it that if I email someone and I'm only asking to get to know one another and start 'friend'ships does no one respond? Why is it that a friendship MUST include play or a relationship?

Is this normal or just happening for the moment? Do other people experience this? Have you ever met 'friends' and starting hanging out and have fun as just 'friends'?

I have tried contacting others in the area I am moving to because I want to be back home with my family. I also would like a connection within the bdsm community.

Why is trying to make friends so undesirable?

------------
Well, you wrote me yesterday, and I wrote back saying I would welcome friendship, and gave you a URL for a very friendly group in this area, but you haven't read my message yet. You might want to check your inbox. :)

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 9:03:13 AM

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I have several good friends on here.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 9:07:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirPrize
------------
Well, you wrote me yesterday, and I wrote back saying I would welcome friendship, and gave you a URL for a very friendly group in this area, but you haven't read my message yet. You might want to check your inbox. :)

OMG, Too Funny! I have checked my inbox today, several times but I think b/c I added a journal entry and deleted my name from my profile that it is now 'pending approval'. I wonder if that's causing a problem getting your email?

THANK U, THANK U, THANK U! Please resend the email tomorrow. I'd really appreciate it! ((( SMILES )))

(in reply to SirPrize)

RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 11:06:22 AM

TemptingNviceSub

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Hi kiddo..you e-mailed me as well..I replied a few days ago,actually same day you wrote I think..just checked and it shows you have not read it either..You may want to check your settings.or the like?...be well..Tempting

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 11:48:58 AM

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I am friendly. . .

And I did not get an email. . .

Still. . .

Best,

LaMalinche

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 12:07:28 PM

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i have made quite a few friends here. It just takes time and some patience to weed out the trolls.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 1:10:35 PM

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I used to be a member of a pen-pal club when I was a kid. I had 4 pen-pals from different parts of the world. I just loved communicating with someone from a totally different country. When their letters arrrived I was so thrilled from seeing the stamp on the envelope, I was so over-awed that these letters had travelled from the other side of the world. The letters we sent to each other might have replaced diary writing as we shared everything and anything with each other, probably due to the fact that we trusted each other with our secrets as we lived so "far away."

I think the internet interaction has replaced the old pen-pal clubs in many ways....but with this you dont ahve to anxiously wait 6 weeks for a reply and you dont get the cool stamps with it.

Keep trying acctonthelook, I'm sure there are people out there that are just purely into internet communications for fun and friendship. I'm one of them.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 2:01:52 PM

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I agree with the OP in some regards...yes I am looking for playmates BUT more importantly I want friendships. If I cannot be a friend or find a friend then playing is somewhat hollow...ALSO I do not expect to play with all of my friends either...if it happens great if not I could care less because with or without play having someone who understands me that we can relate to each other and we can share laughter and hanging out exchanging ideas is a whole lot more important to me than just tying someone up and doing whatever my sadistic little mind thinks of. Good luck on your search and best wishes on your move.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 2:14:00 PM

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To the OP...

i for one won't answer any emails from Doms... Either male or female. i also won't answer anyone who sends a one line email saying things like "Hi, how are you?" or "do you have yahoo IM?" or "HI, i can be a mentor for you"...

If a person can't take a few moments to write a thought provoking email, ask simple questions, or make sure they don't come across like they are trolling, i won't take the time to answer them.

Rude? Maybe, Bitchy? Maybe.

(in reply to acctonthelook)

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