RE: How do you respond to a direct denial?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: How do you respond to a direct denial?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 4/23/2006 2:29:18 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
My guess is he/she is suffering from: jealous, much?

I doubt it's jealousy. I'm thinking it's more just some need to conquer, and a narcissistic desire to wipe the smarm from my face.

Em personally I think it's yet another of the psycho wankers that you rather articulatly put in his place now looking for the label of the wanker that made LA feel bad about herself. The freak will probably give himself brownie points if he thinks that he made you cry.

You've said it yourself more times than not that there are those that abuse this lifestyle as an excuse to harm others mentally and physically to serve their own superiority complex. Why would you assume that this wanker is any different and have engaged him this much?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 4/23/2006 2:33:19 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

If they get my attention and get me into a banter with them, they want to try and confuse me with their intelligence and then become the tutor that leads me into the light with their guidance.

Is that the light to the real and true way of BDSM that we've all been missing?? I thought it was oncoming headlights and had been trying to avoid it.

Runs off chanting GO TO THE LIGHT know it all Dom will save us all ROFLMAO.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 4/24/2006 7:17:50 PM

Ullysag

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline

I'm not sure why something like this takes up so much space. Unless it's your nuclear family, closest friends, respected teacher or person with actual power over you, be polite and let them live.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 4/27/2006 7:12:48 PM

SweetPosession

Posts: 87
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

There is a simple explaination here: You were talking to an asshole. It's ok. There are lots of people on one side of a three-sided debate who claim it's unfair to want the best of both worlds. I think they took the whole "you can't have everything" idea a bit too far. I've had soooo many people tell me I'm confused for being bisexual. I'm not confused. I know exactly what I want. I want men. And women. Sometimes in the same day. Sometimes in the same scene. All that's left to decide is who's on top.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 5/21/2007 8:33:05 AM

joannetg

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline

It actually seems very logical to me. Its a duality found often in life. Subservient to some dominant to others. If you look hard enough some doms seek this quality in a submissive. Powerfull but willing to bend to their will.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 5/21/2007 8:53:56 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

How about " thank you for your input " and block the person .. why would you want to continue talking to them? I also agree with others who have stated " Dont argue with an idiot .. they only feed on it" to parapharse a few lol

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Alacrity)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 5/22/2007 9:37:11 AM

Kitte9

Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

I think he's trying to make your book fit neatly within the confines of his bookcase.

Sucks to be him...

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 5/24/2007 4:06:16 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Them: Sounds like hysteria, bit too schiziod; certainly sounds illogical; certainly it is sophistry. But the main thing is to remain positive. Perspective will follow hopefully. We wish you well.

LA.... The above is a little ironic, as the writer is trying to use rhetoric to infleunce your thinking. There is no attempt to engage in reasoned argument, just an i`m right and you are wrong scenario.

Pot kettle and black spring to mind here. My guess would be your original comment to "them" hit a nerve, and now they are trying to belittle you. The ignore button would be my way of dealing with things.

(in reply to Kitte9)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 6/12/2007 11:02:34 PM

Quarry

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline

Yeah, I get this kind of crap too. Once, at a play party, someone said (to my face, mind you, completely unaware how rude they were bing) that, since I'm a switch, I'm not a "real submissive". So I called intot he next room to a woman who'd topped me and said, "Hey, am I submissive?" She yelled back "Yes!"

Anyway, the key to your detractor's argument appears to be this sentence: " an authentic slave and an authentic Dom are mutually-exclusive, ontollogically, ritualistically, and practically."

You should ask him how he knows this. Did he read it in a book? Did he hear it from a friend? Ask him whether he can produce a well-researched article that backs up this assertion. Of course I could just save him the trouble of hunting for one because I know that such a thing doesn't exist There's no Federal Department of Kinkiness that issues classifications of dom, sub, and switch. Nor is there any academic discipline which has ever spent more than five minutes considering these questions.There just are no definitive, objective definitions for these terms. Therefore, there's no wa

Your friend seems to think that just because the terms slave and master are opposites, they're mutually exclusive. Nonsense. A person can be both a victim and a criminal, a sinner and a saint (Anyone remember St. Augustine?), a parent and a child. And yeah, one can also be both a slave and a master, a top and a bottom. What's to stop them (other than a lack of opportunity, I suppose)?

And even within the BDSM community, the definitions for these terms are pretty fluid. They depend a hell of a lot on context.

The point is this: the guy's argument comes down to his definitions of the terms "master," "slave," "switch," etc. Substitute *your* definitions - which are every bit as valid as his - and his argument disappears from the map.

Finally, it should be noted that when science has studied sexuality, it has generally found that classifications such as "straight," "bi," "gay," "transgendered," etc tend not to be rigid catagories but, rather, points on a spectrum. So one guy might be bi-sexual, but the guy standing next to him might be even more bi-sexual. And so on. Further, sex roles seem to depend a lot on environment. Survey a hundred guys in prison, you'll find a lot of homosexuals. Survey the same hundred guys after they get out, not so much. We don't know whether BDSM classifications follow the same rules, but it wouldn't be surprising if they did.

-Quarry

(in reply to Alacrity)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 6/12/2007 11:51:07 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Someone's been reading to much Castlerealm, LOL
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to Quarry)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 6/13/2007 5:57:54 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Is there a point in continuing a conversation with someone who is convinced you are wrong about yourself?

Not after a bit. I know this is an older thread but I've been thinking about this very question myself lately. I am perfectly willing to discuss it with someone if they believe I am "wrong" about something in my life. Perhaps they just don't understand something I've said or are unfamiliar and just need something to be explained. But....once I've made the initial point and clarified in order to answer their question(s), if they still continue to believe I'm "wrong" about myself or my relationship, I pretty much wash my hands of them at that point. That's nothing but utter arrogance and indicative of deep ignorance with no desire to become informed. For someone to get to the point where they actually believe they have the right to dictate to others how they "should" be or live would be sad and pathetic if it weren't so damn infuriating

.

As far as these ridiculous e-mails attempting to tell you how "wrong" you are in how you choose to live, I would chalk it up to it being someone who is envious of your ability to admit that you don't fit tidily into one single little pigeonhole. With Master, I am His slave and I am totally submissive. I personally cannot imagine switching or being dominant in any way. Fine. But do I have the right to go to someone who DOES have that ability and desire and tell him/her that they are somehow wrong simply because they are choosing to do something I never could or would? Not hardly. I think for some it's virtually impossible to see others doing something THEY personally find undesirable or threatening. Instead of having the "live and let live" philosophy, some feel a compulsive need to point out just how "wrong" (read: unlike me) that person must be for not doing it like THEY would. I think, at some point in time, we've all been guilty of letting that part of our human nature leak through. But, if we're wise, we'll notice it and rein it in..........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 6/14/2007 3:31:52 PM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetPosession

There is a simple explaination here: You were talking to an asshole. It's ok. There are lots of people on one side of a three-sided debate who claim it's unfair to want the best of both worlds. I think they took the whole "you can't have everything" idea a bit too far. I've had soooo many people tell me I'm confused for being bisexual. I'm not confused. I know exactly what I want. I want men. And women. Sometimes in the same day. Sometimes in the same scene. All that's left to decide is who's on top.

<3

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to SweetPosession)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: How do you respond to a direct denial? - 6/15/2007 2:20:33 AM

Dini

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

*shrugs* sound like a sub who is unable to come to terms with there submission and has turned UbreDom! .. But then again that is just my opinion!

I gave up “trying” to justify my orientation a long time ago.. as a Rl Switch of just over 11 years, I have been the sub… the bottom.. the top and have found my place as a Domme.. I have experimented, and with every person I find a different space and a different level of Dominance or submission. I see myself as a true switch, since I can change from one to the other in the space of an evening ( and have done so many times)… and find the headspace that comes with the “role” I find myself within the particular scene.

But then again that is Me… I have a boy who currently wears My collar.. and I am his Mistress in all ways… however there are times when I do switch and submit to a different Domme.. I will no longer switch with My sub, as this causes confusion within the roles, but he is aware of the fact that I submit to another, even though I have not allowed him to witness a scene where I have switched. On the occasions that I do submit, it is a full submission… body mind and soul being handed over to Her for the duration of the scene…

As for the original post.. water off a ducks back.. don’t let the ranting of someone who obviously does not understand at the beauty of the switch affect your decision. Be true to yourself and allow yourself to experiment and experience your special position within the scene.

(in reply to MissOchistic)

Profile

Post #: 53