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Balancing Act - 6/3/2010 6:27:22 PM   
aphrodite5


Posts: 71
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline
I posted this on another site as well.
For some background, I live with Master. We are polyamorous. I see my boy about 2 days a week, usually as an overnight stay. For part of that time, all three of us are hanging out together. I'm pretty new at this switching thing. Up until about a year ago, I considered myself strictly submissive. I'm still learning what it means for me to have control, and what I want to do with it.

My problem: I am having trouble balancing my dominance and submission. I find that I get so far into one head-space that the other gets neglected. Either I get so far into taking control of my boy and give orders to Master (oops!), or I am so focused on pleasing Master that the boy is running free and feels totally lost.
Some of the problem I'm having, I'm sure, is the newness of it all. Hopefully as the new relationship(s) get more settled, I won't see-saw so much with my different roles. In the mean time... How do you find the balance? Especially when the three of us are spending time as a group, I struggle to find my place. What did you do to resolve this for yourself?
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RE: Balancing Act - 6/3/2010 9:33:21 PM   
Steelslilbit


Posts: 130
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline
My approach was not to mix the two until I had a firm handle on them both, and as my relationship now is only quasi-bdsm  ( my bf and I decided the 24/7 life was not for us and decided that term worked better as our description), my switching comes more easily.

For someone in your situation however, I doubt something like that would work.  You all want to hang out together.  My first question would be:

Are you spending enough quality time in each headspace, uninterrupted by the other?  Meaning is your submissive nature being satisfied when your boy isn't around and vice versa?  Since your boy is only around two days a week, I would meander a guess that your Dominant side is most likely the one that's lacking.


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(in reply to aphrodite5)
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