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RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 9:15:31 AM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tylerb

Thanks for the advice I will reword my profile later on.




Honestly, you can reword all you want but until you learn respect for others and lose that self focused do-me I am a kid and don't know what I'm doing because I'm all glands and this kinky stuff sounds fun mentality I hold out no luck for you here or any place else. I sincerly suggest you just sit back, read what is said here and learn a few things before you go any further. In spite of the adverts here and all the weird male made and male focused porn on the internet I know you are looking at that is not who we are. We are all people who are, for the most part, people interested in a lifestyle not sex.

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 9:21:43 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057130/tm.htm

Look there's already a post all set up for you with comments by Dommes following it. Funny what you can find when you put forth some effort.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 9:41:40 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
tylerb,

quote:

im looking for a woman lol not just the kink there is more to it than that i want to serve and please the woman that eventually fucks me.


I haven't looked at your profile, however, the above isn't likely to attract many women.  Vulgar language.  Sloppy writing and poor grammar.  Desperation.  That's what comes across and it isn't any more attractive in the BDSM world than in the vanilla one.  The words "kinky" and "domme" do not make a woman any less selective than other women who don't necessarily identify in BDSM.  You're still speaking with a human being of the female persuasion and all the same rules apply.  Presenting yourself with courtesy, intelligence, grace, empathy, a sense of balance and humour... I've yet to meet any woman (or human being, for that matter) for whom these aren't the entry points for conversation.  Throw away any notion that simply because a woman is kinky you can now say things like "I'd like you to fuck me with your strap-on" as an opening.  How well does this kind of line work if you walk up to a random woman on the street and say this?  You'd get yourself slapped and possibly reported to a police officer.  It's no different here, except the police officer is more likely a forum moderator.  I suggest you drop the vulgar language and BDSM focus, and join in the conversations here in a graceful, intelligent way.  Much more than your profile, this is a great way to make an impression (although, if your profile is kink/fuck focused, I'd clean that up too).

--- Her pleasure is more important to me than my own.

I'm guessing the dominant women on here will read through this in a millisecond and call B.S. on it.  I'd be surprised if you don't enjoy being pleasured and I'd also be surprised if you're looking for a partner and don't wish to derive any pleasure from sharing with her.  Unfortunately, on the Internet, lot of posts and, for that matter, profiles from dominant women, perpetuate the one-sided myth... "it's all about her pleasure" and on and on.  How many vanilla relationships last if one of the partner's isn't getting their needs met?  Not too many, in my experience.

Do you see a theme here?  Until otherwise negotiated with a kinky person with whom you have rapport, all rules of the vanilla world apply and, even then, most rules of the vanilla world still apply.  If a dominant is consistently rude and abrupt with their partner, do you think the partner is going to stick around?  Not bloody likely mate! :-)

I hope something I've written here is helpful in your next approach on this forum.  Welcome aboard and good luck,

Elan.

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:06:55 AM   
tylerb


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/5/2010
Status: offline
well i changed my profile around some tell me what you think. I read over it and yes when i read it to myself it came off in a manner that i did not mean for it to. sorry for the disrespect.

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:10:23 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
I didn't read either one, but the way you are handling this "welcome" shows that you can grow and learn! Kudos!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:29:01 AM   
tylerb


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/5/2010
Status: offline
Thanks. Like I said I'm new to all of this so if someone is going to take the time to point out something that I'm doing wrong or something that I am approaching wrong I have no problem taking their advice. Sorry if I offended anyone I wasn't trying to offend anyone on purpose. thank you for you patience.


(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:35:50 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
Tyler,

I went to look at your updated profile.  Having not seen the original, I don't know how much changed.  What you've got presently isn't bad, but a few things stand out.  Here's what I'd update, were I you.

First sentence:  this runs on, and on, and on... with no periods or punctuation in sight.  Break this into multiple, shorter sentences, each one expressing a single or, at maximum, two related ideas.

This line:  "I just have a desire deep down to please every woman I see";  I understand what you're trying to say, but it comes across as generalizing and objectifying women.  Take out the word "every" and reword the rest as something like "deep down, I have a desire to please my partner".

Watch your verbs and nouns, and choice of words:  "I just need the right dominate girl...";  the word you mean is "dominant" and you'd be far better served to use the word "woman" instead of "girl".  A dominant woman you know well might find this term endearing and affectionate, if you use it as such and in the right context and timing.  Otherwise, this is a social faux pas.

Remove this:  "I will try anything once."

Leave this:  "I'm not very interested in anything painful but everything else is pretty open.  It is hard for me say exactly what my limits are because there is so much I haven't experienced."

Final note:  once you've revised your profile, run the entire thing through a spelling checker and correct mistakes in spelling and punctuation.

My general feeling, after reading, is your profile is too much about  what you want.  You might be better off to start again and simply describe yourself as a well-rounded person.  Share a few of your hobbies.  Describe what you're looking for in a partner.  Avoid too much kink.  By virtue of the fact you're on here, people know you're kinky so that base is somewhat covered.  Yes, there is a wide range of what people like and dislike, but you can discuss this once you've started a conversation with someone and developed some rapport.  Too much "I want", "I like", etc. up front is a turn-off.  It's okay to note some kinky things you like or kinky things you'd like to try, but this is better as the smallest part of your profile rather than the focus.

Elan.

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:37:46 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
xxblushesxx,

quote:

I didn't read either one, but the way you are handling this "welcome" shows that you can grow and learn! Kudos!


Agreed.  The OP's willingness to accept feedback speaks very well for him.

E.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:39:23 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
There are a lot of guys out there who want sex. Women also for that matter. Have you tried maybe getting a girlfriend first and then moving on to the sex part? If that seems to hard, I bet you can find a prostitute that will screw you, she might even give you a blow job if you pay her enough.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:43:59 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tylerb

I can't find anyone that will fuck me with a strapon lol I'm not bad looking. For my first time I want it to be kind of sensual then get rougher and more submissive each time. Help me lol


You're in luck tylerb! I have a soft spot for fucking conservative men up the ass. So, if you're willing to fly to KC, present a recent clean bill of health, and do it in the same room with another man who's there to ensure my safety, I'd be more than happy to work on your ass.

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:55:24 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline
You know, I feel, that as long as you're honest about what you want, and what you offer, and who  you are, even if you're a horny do me, there might be someone out there for you.

No need not to be a do me, or all about your hormones, just be honest if you are.

And if that's not what you want to be perceived as, or you're not, but you come across as, then change.
quote:

ORIGINAL: GraciousLady



Honestly, you can reword all you want but until you learn respect for others and lose that self focused do-me I am a kid and don't know what I'm doing because I'm all glands and this kinky stuff sounds fun mentality I hold out no luck for you here or any place else.

(in reply to GraciousLady)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 11:57:20 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tylerb

well i changed my profile around some tell me what you think. I read over it and yes when i read it to myself it came off in a manner that i did not mean for it to. sorry for the disrespect.


I think it looks good. And like blushes said, your responses do show you in a positive light. Are there any TNG groups in your area or munches you could go to? I have found one of the quickest ways to meet people is to go to events and volunteer to help.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 12:30:39 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
And remember, being FUCKED with a strap on is SEX. While I am sure that plenty of gals are happy to hop in the sack at a moments notice, you reeeely might not want to start with that as an opening gambit. Just saying.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 6:39:38 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
Tylerb, I'm pretty impressed with your perserverance in the face of adversity, lol. It's not easy to come into a new group and take the comments that were offered to assist you in a constructive way. Good on ya. All too often here someone will come in and act unattractively and then instead of seeing if there is any truth in the advice that was offered, he or she rejects everything that was said as being meaningless and everyone who said anything as being clueless.

Let me offer you a bit more insight as to your original question about why it's hard to get what  you want. Since you are new, you may not realize that men outnumber women on this site and most like it. Also, women Dominants are about the smallest group here. If you look at it like a numbers game that may make more sense to you, there are just many more male subs that have wants and desires and not that many female Dommes that can fulfill them and may not want to because here is another thing...men and women are different. Who knew! Men want sex, they've got it on the brain most the time and they aren't terribly picky in many ways about how they get it. Women tend to want relationships, they operate more on the emotional side rather than purely physical. You are looking at your predicament as a man...not a woman. You don't think it should be too hard to get what  you want after coming here to announce those wants, women don't work that way. You have to put some time into figuring out what women want if you want to get one to play with you. Good luck, I hope things work out...

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 7:08:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
If you're still wondering why, try looking at it like this:

How many women do you think would be interested in screwing you if you had just walked into the grocery store?

What?  You wouldn't walk into the business where you do your food shopping and ask women if they'd like to fuck you?

Guess what?  It works the same way here. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 9:13:57 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tylerb

I can't find anyone that will fuck me with a strapon lol I'm not bad looking. For my first time I want it to be kind of sensual then get rougher and more submissive each time. Help me lol


Well Tyler my guess would be the green and white striped shirt...

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Didn't think finding a woman to fuck me with a stra... - 6/6/2010 9:22:53 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
The new profile looks great. Just take your time and hang out a while. Maybe find some local groups and hang out there. Have fun!

(in reply to tylerb)
Profile   Post #: 37
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