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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Ask A Mistress FAQ - READ THIS FIRST Page: [1]
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Ask A Mistress FAQ - READ THIS FIRST - 2/9/2010 5:31:41 PM   

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Welcome to the Ask A Mistress forum FAQ. This FAQ is designed to help you make the most of your experience on CollarMe/CollarChat. Please take a few minutes to read it and explore the links included. If you don’t find the answer to your question in this FAQ, please use the Search feature to look for past threads that might deal with your question. We also encourage you to familiarize yourself with the TOS and Forum Guidelines before you post.


Please remain respectful of others points of view and ask questions that are pertinent. Please refrain from posting inflammatory or accusatory remarks about FemDoms as a group. We are unique and sweeping generalizations will only result in a very negative thread. Remember, no one is here to cater to your fantasies and fetishes. We are here to have intelligent discussions regarding a variety of interests. Please try to word your question in a way that shows you are interested in promoting discussion and not trolling for masturbation material.

Often, your questions can be answered by doing a search of the archives. Please check the date of a thread and try to avoid commenting on anything more than 3 months old. If you would like to start a discussion based on a thread more than 3 months old, create a new post and include a link to the old thread. Posts telling people the “right” or “true” way to do things are unwelcome. If you are very knowledgeable about a certain topic, we welcome you to share your experiences, just keep your mind open to other possibilities.

Below are a few links to sites describing general ‘netiquette’ (internet etiquette). Please review them and apply the techniques to your posts.

The Core Rules of Netiquette
25 Forum Posting Etiquette Tips
What is Forum Etiquette?
Tips for Good Web Forum Etiquette

Q: I’m a professional dominatrix – can I advertise here?

A: If you are a pro domme, there is a Professional Services section of the boards for you to advertise your services and post a link to your website. Please use it instead of posting an ad in Ask a Mistress or other sections of the forums. If you are a professional and would like to contribute to the discussions here, we welcome your input. However, if you attempt to solicit clients in this forum, rest assured we will report your posts to the moderators and have them moved to the area designated for that purpose.

Common Kinks/Fantasies

Q: Are there any (how many) dominant women into [insert your favorite kink here]?

A: While there is no way to answer the question of how many dominant women enjoy a particular activity, we can assure you that if you like it, chances are there’s a dominant woman somewhere in the world who likes it too. However, it’s beyond our ability to guarantee you’ll find one here. What we can guarantee is that, if you post a thread asking how many dominant women like your choice in kinks, many of us will be quick to assume you’re looking for semi-pornographic material to fuel your masturbatory fantasies (i.e. “wank fodder”) and shoot you down in record time.

If you’re looking for erotic stories, please refer to the Creative Writings section, or to one of the many websites dedicated to erotic writing such as Akasha's Web or Literotica.

Forced Anything

Q: Are there any dominant women here who will force me to [fill in the blank]?

A: This question always raises the debate over how can an activity be “forced” if the sub wants to do it? Generally speaking, we believe it’s impossible to force you to do something you find enjoyable. Many of us refuse to believe it’s forced if you’re asking a woman to do it with you, to you, or for you. A scene where you role-play being forced to do something you enjoy is another matter and many of us enjoy this type of play. Please learn to recognize the difference.


Q: Where are the women who love to turn men into little sissy boys and make them wear women’s clothes?

A: Some women love feminization, some hate it. Some women will only consider doing it if it’s with a trusted partner in the context of a loving, committed relationship. Below, you’ll find some threads which display a wide variety of opinions about the topic. There is also a thread dedicated to tips, advice, and support by and for those who love it or are at least open to the idea of feminization.

Forced fem - Dommes what do you like about it??
Feminization: Help, Advice & Support
Forced Feminization
Mistresses, what's the deal?
I swear it's not a generic Forced Fem thread

CBT, anal/strap-on play, trampling, feet/shoes, and other fetishes

There have been dozens of threads about these topics. Please use the Search feature to look for them.

Common Complaints

Q: Why are there so many scammers, fakes, professional dominants demanding tribute, wankers who disappear after a few emails, [insert other complaint here]? Are there any real dommes/subs?

A: We encounter these types of complaints on a routine basis. Sometimes, several of them crop up in the same week or even the same day. Welcome to the internet, let the buyer beware. Your best defense against these individuals is to learn to spot them and then use the Report Profile feature provided by the site administrators. If a profile receives enough reports, the administrators will remove it. You should also keep in mind that one person's fake is another's ideal partner. If someone is incompatible with you, they are not necessarily fake. Recognize their right to do what works for them and move on to someone else.

Q: What’s the deal with all the gold-digging prostitute dommes who want money on this site?

A: There are quite a few professional dominatrices who use CM to advertise their services. Some of them also use the site to search for partners for non-professional relationships. Many of us feel they are providing a valuable service and we respect their dedication and hard work. Some of us believe men who are interested in only one type of play, who want casual play without the commitment of a relationship, who desire a “discreet” encounter outside of their marriages, or who adhere to a rigid fantasy scenario from which they do not want to deviate would be happiest if they made use of a professional dominatrix’s services. While we recognize your right not to use a professional’s services, we ask you to recognize their right to earn a living in any way they choose without flinging insults like “prostitute” or “gold-digger” at them.

Q: Why won’t dommes answer my CMail?

A: There are many reasons a dominant woman doesn’t respond to email. Perhaps you are too young, too old, too far away, married, or you don’t share the same interests. Sometimes, it just boils down to lack of chemistry. If she reads your message, inspects your profile, looks at your picture, and doesn’t feel a spark of interest, she probably won’t reply. Most women will not respond to a message of only one or two lines or one that demonstrates you haven’t read her profile. Another possibility is that your profile is too short or comes across as too focused on yourself and your kinks. Below are links to on-going threads dedicated to getting help with your profile and improving your introductory email.

Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman
CMail Help: How to Contact a Dominant Woman


CollarChat has dedicated a section of the forums to Health and Safety. Please refer to archived threads in this area to see if your question has been answered or to ask a new one.

Find Munches/Events In Your Area

Below is a link to a website that lists kink groups and events by country and state. Click here to see what’s available in your area.

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 12/29/2013 4:48:14 AM >


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