Andalusite -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/20/2010 1:51:41 PM)
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Nick, I don't consider asking the other person out to be a huge deal, and have occasionally initiated it as well. Since you know that going Dutch is important to you, and that it is fairly common for women to expect the man to pay, why not ask her views before you ask her out? I'd think it would be easy to bring it up in the course of conversation, along with favorite movies, animals, and other such things. If nothing else, when you ask her out, you should make it clear that you only plan to pay for yourself, and ask if she prefers just going for coffee or somewhere inexpensive. If she's not interested in going Dutch, you've both saved yourselves the time and money, since you'd be incompatible anyway. If she's willing to pay her own way, but can't afford much, the two of you can find a suitable place to go together, without her feeling caught by surprise at the last moment. If she's fine with spending some money, but feels that going Dutch is unromantic, she can ask you to cover the first date while she gets the next one, or vice versa. If you can't talk honestly about such things, then you're certainly not ready to date each other, just as you should be able to discuss your views about D/s, politics, religion, and other potentially touchy things.
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