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Lockit -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 11:28:32 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: subbietom2
i apologize for being so naive, but it seems that every time i FINALLY have the opportunity to start a relationship with a Mistress, Her first request is that i give Her money (i.e., an allowance, tuition, spending money, gifts, etc). While i am certainly more than willing to, and even very excited about the opportunity to shower a potential Mistress with gifts, money, my labor, etc., i am very suspicious about the sincerity of the Mistress when monetary contributions are Her first requirement. As a result, i have ended several very promising relationships before they even started, and i keep questioning myself whether i did the right thing.
Am i out of line in thinking that a D/s relationship should evolve somewhat prior to significant financial demands by the Mistress? i am very sincere in seeking a long term D/s relationship, but it seems to be very difficult.
Using your own words that I have made bigger and red, I want you to look at what you said. Now look at the underlined words. Promising relationships? Do you actually believe those people who want different things in a 'relationship' were promising potential partners to you? Really? How could these be promising relationships? Please explain that to me.
It would have been perfect if he hadn't had that wife. It would have been wonderful if they hadn't lived across the world. It would have been amazing if they were attractive to me. How wonderful and amazing it would have been if they had actually liked me for me and not for what I could give them.
You're living in a fairytale. How's that working for you?
Those that want your money want you living in a fairytale so that they can take you for whatever you can provide for them, rather than who you are. I do not consider the majority of them professional dominants, as I see them as opportunist and not refined and skilled professional dominants. Those that want a long term relationship want you firmly planted in reality. It doesn't start with those who ask for something of you rather than with you. It all starts with you.
So many complain that all the domina's want money, gifts, and on and on to the point where I need pepto bismo. There are a lot of them out there because there are a lot of men living in a kinky fairytale. But... there are lots of women planted in kinky reality who want more, who are tired of the fairytale unrealistic and want the fairytale of reason, life enhancements and love. Which seems like a fairytale because many men are stuck in the first fairytale. We don't go seeking men in a fairytale unrealistic like men in an unrealistic fantasy hunt us down. We are looking for certain signs that he is realistic and that is what the men who come complaining need to do. It all starts with you.
Get out of the fairytale unreasonable and refine your hunt to those firmly planted in reality that can become a fairytale. I can't say it won't be frustrating in finding a realistic partner to share a created fairytale together, but I can say your eyes will be clear, your head tied on and you will prove more worthy to those who don't charge anything. But until you are realistic... you just may have to give in and pay the money because those of us who are realistic domina's want no part of the fairytale game based in fantasy.
Key word.... YOU.
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